Page 58 of Offside Bride

Maggie raised an eyebrow. “And where exactly am I supposed to sleep? Your room?”

I waggled my eyebrows suggestively. “Well, if you insist…”

I’ve never been happier that I decided to turn the downstairs bedroom into an office.

“You do remember this isn’t real, right?” she says.

I leveled her with a stern stare. “Look, Siobhan will tease me mercilessly if she finds out this marriage is fake. We need to sell it, which means…”

“Oh no. We are not sharing a bed.”

“Trust me, my sister’s like a bloodhound when it comes to sniffing out lies. If we don’t play this right, she’ll know something’s up faster than I can say Wayne Gretzky.”

“But—” Maggie started to protest as I took her suitcase into my bedroom and slid it under my bed. She hovered at the threshold, completely bewildered.

“Come on in darlin’.” I grinned, enjoying her discomfort a little too much. “I promise to be a perfect gentleman.”

“I’m building a pillow wall between us.” she said.

I walked right up to her and ran a finger over her arm. “What’s the matter, Trouble? Afraid you won’t be able to keep your hands off me?”

Even with the way Maggie reacted to my touch, I was still nervous about Siobhan’s visit—if we could act like newlyweds enough to convince her. If I should just tell her the truth.

Now, watching them interact, I’m glad I insisted on keeping up the marriage ruse. The way they’re bonding…it hits right in my chest. My two favorite women in the world, getting along like old friends, laughing and swapping stories. And I realize something. I have no intention of ever letting Maggie go.

Fake marriage or not, she’s family now.

As we walk through the front door, Otto greets us with a squawk. “Honey, I’m home! Whatcha doin’?”

Siobhan’s eyes light up like a kid on Christmas morning. “Oh my god, is that an African Grey? He’s adorable!” Siobhan approaches Otto’s cage, cooing at him. “Hi there, handsome. Aren’t you just the prettiest bird?”

“Pretty bird,” Otto replies, bobbing his head.

I roll my eyes. “More like a feathered menace.”

Maggie shoots me a glare, then coos at the parrot. “Don’t listen to him, Otto. Daddy’s just grumpy.”

“Daddy’s grumpy!” Otto repeats, flapping his wings.

Siobhan bursts out laughing. “Oh, this is too good. What else can he say?”

Maggie smirks playfully. “Otto, what do we say when Daddy's being a pain?”

“Squawk off!” Otto screeches.

“Real mature, Maggie,” I say.

For the next hour, Siobhan and Maggie take turns teaching Otto new phrases. My sister’s particularly fond of “Alexa, get me a beer!”—which Otto picks up with alarming speed.

“Great,” I mutter. “Now I’ve got two mouthy troublemakers in the house.”

Maggie winks at me. “You love it.”

I step closer, my voice low. “I’d love it more if you’d let me show you just how much.”

She blushes, and I can’t help but feel a little smug. But before I can push my luck, Otto interrupts with a perfectly timed, “Touch grass!”

Siobhan howls with laughter. “Oh man, this bird is my new best friend.”

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