Page 100 of Freeing Emily

She’s my ma. She loves me unconditionally. She has always been a pillar of strength in my life.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Paige reaches over and lightly squeezes my knee. Her eyes are warm and understanding.

I guess if anyone can understand a strained relationship with their mother, it’s Paige. She was the subject of unimaginable pain and agony her entire life before she was taken by Vladimir.

I don’t have that though. My relationship with my ma is different. It’s my fault our relationship is not what it used to be.

“When will she be here?” I mumble.

“Tomorrow morning.”

My eyes flutter closed, and I clench my hands into fists. I swallow tightly before opening my eyes and looking between Paige and Sarah.

“Okay,” I say, lifting my chin to feign the confidence that I don’t feel.

I didn’t sleep a single minute last night. My anxiety of seeing my ma in person was too much to ignore. I sat in the chair in front of my window staring at nothing. My thoughts were a jumbled mess. It was a disaster.

Liam sat with me for a while and tried to offer me some comfort, but I had him go to sleep. He has been working so hard alongside Rhys and needed to rest more than I did.

The sun rose a few hours ago and I’m still sitting at the window. Declan left to pick up ma, and I’m uneasy with each second that passes and their SUV doesn’t come driving up the road.

“It’s going to be okay,Féileacán,” Liam says as he dresses. His hair is still mussed from sleep and sticks up in different directions. Waking up with him at my side is a dream. His scent is embedded in my sheets. It’s crazy to see how different my life is now despite what has happened to me.

“I know,” I mutter. “It’s silly for me to be feeling the way I am. I know that. I'm just filled with this fear that something bad is going to happen.”

Liam steps up behind me and sets his hands on my shoulder.

“There are no rules that say how you should feel in situations, Emily. You went through a lot and your subconscious is trying to protect you.”

I sigh and my shoulders slump. “Protect me from what though? She’s my ma.” My voice cracks from my throat tightening.

Liam’s thumbs rub my shoulders. “From experiencing any trauma again. It might not seem rational, but it makes sense. The last person you spoke to before your life drastically changed was your ma.”

The sound of tires on the dirt road causes my spine to become wrought iron straight. My stomach falls to the floor and my heart begins to gallop in my chest.

Ma is here.

Emily didn’t want to come downstairs to greet Caetlin. She wanted to breathe and gather the courage to see her. I offered to stay but she all but shoved me out of the bedroom.

I walk down the hallway and meet Paige at the top of the stairs. She peers over my shoulder before her shoulders slump.

“No Emily?”

I shake my head solemnly. “She’s not quite ready to see Caetlin yet.”

Paige frowns but nods in understanding.

“She’ll come down when she’s ready.” She walks down the steps and I follow her lead.

The door opens just as we make it to the last step and Caetlin steps in with Declan right behind her. She smiles wide when she sees us.

“Liam, it’s so good to see you,” she opens her arms and pulls me in for a tight hug.

She greets Paige in the same way and then her smile drops when she notices that Emily is not with us.

Her eyes fall to the ground, and I watch her throat bob when she swallows the thump that has grown.

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