Page 76 of Bitter Confessions

“Don’t be such a baby,” she chided as she settled on his lower back and braced her hands on his shoulder blades. “Okay, what do I do?”

She listened to his instructions and got to work. She realized she had to use most of her body weight to get the pressure he wanted. He taught her the anatomy of his back and grunted and hissed as her strong fingers dug in. She lost herself in the repetitive movements and the challenge of having so much territory to cover. She remembered some motions from the massage he gave her in London. It was a delight to explore and touch to her heart’s content. Even when her arms began to ache and sweat dotted her forehead, she didn’t stop.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but when he’d been quiet for some time, she shifted to the side and smiled when she saw his eyes were closed. She glanced at the clock and resisted the urge to cheer. It was just after four. Maybe he’d get more than three hours of sleep for once. To make him fall even deeper, she ran her hands through his hair. Judging by how quickly he dozed off last night, he liked it a lot.

When she started to ease away, his voice stopped her. “Lie on top of me.” He was drowsy enough that she had to lean down to hear him.

“What?”

One eye opened. “Lie on top of me while I nap.”

“I don’t think...”

“You weigh nothing. You put on a hundred pounds, I could still lift you over my head without breaking a sweat.”

She bit his shoulder hard enough to make him flinch, even though his disregard for her weight made cheered her up. She stretched out on top of him, nuzzled his cheek, and copied the placement of his arms so her arms lay on top of the muscled, veiny backs of his. She breathed in his scent and had to suppress a moan. He smelled of soap, man, and the faintest hint of sandalwood.

As minutes ticked by, their breathing synchronized. His animal heat seeped through her clothing and made her feel like she was near a fire. Even though he was almost unconscious, his energy vibrated in the air around them.

Knowing he wasn’t asleep, just floating, she whispered, “Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you know so much about massage?”

In London, he said he’d picked up the skill, but his knowledge of anatomy, body mechanics, and physiology was too in-depth to be casual. She’d jumped to the conclusion he’d learned how to massage to take care of the women he used too hard in the bedroom, but now that she was thinking about it, she couldn’t see Roth learning just for that reason. Tending to a prostitute after he paid her wasn’t his style. It was more likely he’d hand her off to someone else, not take care of it personally.

“Roth?”

“We did everything ourselves. Repairs on the house, hunting, cutting firewood. I was too young to help as much as he wanted me to, so Mom took on more than her share and got hurt a lot. They didn’t have the money for hospital bills, so I did what I could to make her comfortable and heal quicker.”

The last thing she expected was for him to bring up his childhood. A dark suspicion slithered through her mind and dug its claws deep into her belly. She raised her head to question him before she registered that his body was no longer loose and pliant, but rigid with tension. Her need for answers was paramount, but her desire for him to relax and be at ease was greater.

She put her lips against his ear and whispered, “You’re a dick for letting me think you gave your whores rubdowns.”

She knew she’d made the right choice when his body quaked beneath her as he chuckled. She let out a mock growl and sank her teeth into his shoulder.

“You think this is funny?” She moved over his body, play-biting until he was outright laughing. That carefree sound was worth the cost of not getting answers.

“Come here,” he said, his voice amused and indulgent.

She flopped onto his back and propped her chin on his shoulder. His hand sank into her hair as he looked back at her.

“Never used a prostitute in my life,” he confessed.

Her scowl vanished.

“Been with three women. My first was a professor at Stanford. I was sixteen and in the midst of it before I knew what was happening. The next time, I let it happen to see if I liked it. Realized I didn’t and stopped it from happening again. You were my second. My third was after you—after the divorce.” When she tried to pull back, his hand bunched in her hair to keep her in place. “I couldn’t finish. Tried a month after that. Same woman. I don’t know why she offered again. It was a repeat of the first time.”

Her heart thundered in her ears. “You...” She couldn’t sort through her whirling thoughts to articulate the questions whizzing through her mind.

“Didn’t have a sex drive before you.” His gaze moved over her pale face and wide hazel gaze. “You came into my life and turned it upside down. It didn’t right itself when you left. I couldn’t move on, even though I tried. I’ve learned my desires are singular and revolve around you. No one else will do.” His expression hardened. “I need my life back, princess.”

“I... don’t understand.”

“I need to work you out of my system to stave off this obsession once and for all.”

“And if you don’t?” She wasn’t sure why she was challenging him, or why she felt offended, terrified, and elated.

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