Page 93 of Bitter Secrets

“I know.” Penelope sighed. “Kids are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Hey!” Frederick protested.

“Kidsandmy husband,” Penelope amended and kissed his cheek.

After dessert, they retired to the drawing room. As Penelope and Frederick carried their sleeping boys upstairs to the rooms their grandparents kept for them, Jasmine took custody of Mariah and curled up in the corner of the couch with the baby in her arms. She watched Mariah’s eyes dart around as she reacted to the multitude of voices. Holding the baby made her feel strangely calm… or was that just the result of excellent food, company, and alcohol? As Mariah’s gripped her finger, she marveled at the strength in those tiny fingers.

She heard a phone ring and looked up in time to see Roth, who had been standing in the open doorway. A second later, the front door closed as he stepped outside. She shook her head and returned her attention to the baby.

“So?” Penelope said as she settled beside her.

She glanced at her friend. “What?”

“Kids?”

“Whose?”

Penelope elbowed her. “Yours, of course.”

“Maybe someday,” she lied.

Even when she was looking for someone, she hadn’t found anyone worth dating seriously. They were flings and hookups. Temporarily entertaining, but no one lasted longer than a few months. And after this, she couldn’t imagine wanting to get married again. Twice was enough. She didn’t trust her judgment where men were concerned, and with a fortune confusing the mix, how could she trust that anyone wanted her for herself?

“I can tell when someone has baby fever,” Penelope said with a knowing smile.

Roth chose that moment to walk back into the room. Their eyes met for a brief second before she switched her attention back to Penelope.

“He doesn’t want kids.”

Penelope’s face fell. “What?I thought he’d want to go all in immediately with all the time you’ve been apart.”

“He’s not a family man.” That was an understatement.

“All guys are like that in the beginning,” Penelope consoled. “He’ll change his mind.”

“Maybe,” she said, even though she knew he wouldn’t. And for the first time, she was glad he’d drawn that line in the sand. Bringing a baby into this mess of a relationship would be catastrophic. He did the vasectomy for himself, but in the process, he saved her too.

As he settled in the single armchair beside her, Abby said, “You two are coming to my wedding, right?”

“When is it?” she asked.

“Next January.”

She didn’t look at Roth, though she knew he was watching her. Their silence gained everyone’s attention. She could see Abby’s excitement switching to hurt, but before it could take root, she smiled.

“We’ll be there.”

Instantly, Abby’s face cleared. “Brilliant!”

By the time Jin and Abby’s wedding rolled around, she would be a two-time divorcee. Hopefully by that time, interest in them would have died down. She wasn’t sure what her mental state would be at that time, but she knew she would be in dire need of a vacation. After Abby’s wedding, she would go somewhere remote and tropical to recover from her year with Roth.

She glanced at him as he leaned toward soft-spoken Jin. He hadn’t contradicted her when she said she would attend the wedding, but he hadn’t agreed either. He wouldn’t be there, but she would. Did he realize how frequently invitations like this would arise? The more they socialized, the more people would include them in future plans. People would begin to expect things from them that they couldn’t deliver.

When tea was served, she gave Mariah to her father, who paced around the room to calm the fussy baby. She wrapped her hands around the cup and listened to Penelope, Janis, and Abby talk. Mother and daughters were so in sync that they finished each other’s sentences. They understood each other perfectly, while everyone else was left in the dark. She didn’t mind. She was content observing their animated faces. Her eyes followed Frederick as he paused by the Christmas tree and let the twinkling lights entertain his daughter.

The Davies and Baldaccis were from her father’s sphere, but they couldn’t be more different from Maximus and Roth. Inviting her and Roth for dinner wasn’t a calculated move on their part. The way William smiled at Roth was genuine, and although Frederick seemed a tad suspicious, even he moseyed closer to hear Roth’s replies. Frederick’s incredulous admiration was easy to read as he shook his head over something Roth said. She could relate. Roth dared things others wouldn’t even contemplate.

The festive decorations, the stack of board games in the corner… This townhouse was a home, not an expensive prop to impress others. She smiled as Janis teased Jin, her future son-in-law. It was clear there were no arranged marriages here. Penelope and Abby were free to choose their paths, and it seemed they had followed their parents’ example and found good men who would fit right in. Her heart ached with longing. When she was a girl, she wished she could be part of the Davies. Decades later, she still had the same wish. Their family was unblemished by scandals, illegitimate children, or blackmail, and they were happy. Why couldn’t she have that?

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