Page 103 of Bitter Secrets

She tried to think of something else, but that night in the cabin played behind closed eyelids. As the wind howled in her ears, she shifted restlessly, toes curling, as her body reacted to the potent memories… and countless others she had documented in her books. Her fingernails bit into her skin. The way he consumed her as if he couldn’t get enough of her was a lie. She could have been any rich man’s daughter, and he would have reacted that way to make her believe he was in love with her.

How did I get so lucky to have a husband like you? A man who fulfills my every desire, even the ones I never knew I had?

She flinched as the echo of her words whispered in that adoring tone sent a shaft of pain through her. She tried to switch the channel in her mind back to sex, but far more devastating memories crowded in. She tried to suppress them, but now that she cracked the door, the scene unfurled like a blooming flower and filled the edges of her mind until there was nothing else. A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye as she surrendered to a past she couldn’t erase and would never forgive him for.

CHAPTER12

SIX YEARS AGO

It was a beautiful day, with the sun beaming down on the thousands that had gathered for the commencement ceremony for the University of Pennsylvania. Even though she knew better, she searched the stands for a familiar face.Anyfamiliar face. Lyle called yesterday to tell her he wouldn’t make it back from Germany in time, but there was always the slim possibility that one of her family members might attend. It wasn’t every day that she graduated from college. In fact, this would happen only once, and she had done it all on her own. That counted for something, didn’t it?

The graduates erupted into cheers and applause for the man who had just given an epic, inspirational speech she hadn’t heard a word of. She clapped along and tried to focus on what was happening on stage and not on who wasn’t there. It shouldn’t matter that there was no one in the stands for her. She finished her degree to prove to herself that she could do it, and she had. She was sure there were other graduates who didn’t have family support on their big day. It was no big deal. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

She told Roth about her commencement ceremony two months ago and casually brought up the date on two other occasions, but she wasn’t sure he heard. The first time, the connection was bad, and the second time, he had to get off the phone to go through customs. During the third time, he had to take another call. It didn’t matter that Roth couldn’t attend. He had done more than enough. He supported her through her last year of college. He paid her sixty thousand dollar tuition, housing, and everything else she needed without complaint while he worked around the clock. When guilt got the best of her, she told him she would quit, but he told her not to worry about the money and encouraged her to finish her degree. What husband would take on such a burden? He was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Even though he hadn’t been able to pick up the phone this morning, she knew he was proud of her. That was enough. Or, she thought it would be, since Lyle was supposed to be here.

To say she was disappointed was an understatement. It must have come through in her voice because Lyle stayed on the line, telling her he would talk to Colette, but they both knew how that would go. He promised to make it up to her somehow. But he couldn’t. There was no do over for this day. She scanned the stands again and pressed her lips together when they began to tremble. After she hung up with Lyle, she called Roth, desperate to hear his voice, but when his phone went straight to voicemail, she broke down. She chalked it up to the fact that she hadn’t seen him in three months, the aftermath of finals, and the foolish hope that she would have patched up things with her family by now.

She took a deep, fortifying breath as another speaker approached the podium. Soon, this would all be over. Their long-distance relationship would be a thing of the past. She could finally leave the States and her family behind. The fact that her family was less than a two-hour drive away and chose to ignore this day was just another layer of hurt on top of everything else she had endured this year. Their disdain goaded her to complete her studies and prove them wrong. She adjusted the dark, oversized sunglasses she wore that concealed her puffy eyes. She accomplished her goal, but she didn’t feel any triumph or joy. All she felt was pain. Why couldn’t her family see what she saw? If Roth was using her for her name, he would have left her the moment Dad went after his company. He risked everything for her, but it made no difference to her family. All they cared about was her broken engagement that ruined Dad’s relationship with the Baldwins, and for that, they would never forgive her. Maybe there would never be a reconciliation. Maybe this is what her life was going to be like from now on. It was just her and Roth against the world.

She was so deep in thought, she didn’t realize the ceremony was over until everyone around her shot to their feet and tossed their caps. The audience cheered and began to descend onto the field as the graduates turned to one another to say their farewells and take pictures. She accepted hugs from a few teary-eyed strangers before she followed the crowd onto campus. She averted her face from the school videographer and made her way to her friend.

“Anika.”

“Jasmine!” Anika threw her arms around her. “Can you believe it’s over?”

“Yes,” she said, and then, “Is your invitation to that party still open?”

Anika blinked and swiped at her smeared mascara. “Of course. Did something happen?”

She waved her hand. “Some plans fell through, so I thought I’d hang with you.”

Anika was appalled. “Your husband didn’t come?”

“He couldn’t make it.”

“I thought your brother-in-law—"

“He couldn’t make it either.” She shrugged. “Business, you know…”

“Jasmine…”

“I’m fine. “

Anika clucked her tongue before she beckoned to a couple who had to be her parents. “This is Jasmine Hennessy.”

“Nice to meet you,” she said as she shook their hands.

As Anika’s father’s brow furrowed, she corrected her friend. “It’s Jasmine Roth, actually. I got married a year ago.”

“And I have yet to meet him,” Anika said. “He works overseas, right?”

“Right. The UK, mostly.”

“There they are.” Anika flagged down the other girls in their group. “Jasmine’s coming with us. Her family didn’t show.”

As the girls turned to her with crestfallen expressions, she held up her hands to stop the sympathy train. “I’m fine.” And she would be as long as she kept moving.

“Let’s take pictures,” Anika’s mother said.

---