Page 56 of Awakened by Sin

She knew he wasn’t but … “You need a second, someone who knows the players in the underworld, someone to watch your back. Gavin had Blade. You need a beta.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Are you volunteering?”

She blinked. “Me?”

“You know the players, and you say you can fight.”

“Hell, no.”

“Why not? You obviously get off on danger.”

“Dodging bullets isn’t my idea of fun.” The memory of clutching Nora to her chest as she ran for her life chilled her even though she was standing under the warm sun.

“What’s your idea of fun?”

“Anything that doesn’t include me running for my life. Just … get a beta, okay?”

“Worried about me?”

“Yes.” They lost Vinny and Manny to the underworld. She didn’t know Angel, but she didn’t want him to be the next victim.

His amusement faded, and a taut silence fell between them. It took a concentrated effort to break their eye contact. It was easy to fold into the car since her legs were a little weak. She didn’t look at him as she buckled herself in.

“You have my number,” he said.

She nodded and turned the key in the ignition. “Right.”

“Carmen.”

She mentally braced before she looked up. “What?”

“If you change your mind or want to hear what my version of fun is, call me,” he said and closed the car door.

She watched him saunter into his house and let out a long breath as she clutched the steering wheel. That man should be locked up. She could just imagine the havoc he would wreak on the city’s female population. Having a Roman take over as crime lord was definitely an unexpected turn of events. Thankfully, she had nothing to do with that. She would keep her promise to herself and live free of the worries of the underworld and the death and heartbreak that came with it.

When she reached home, she was disappointed to find her mother was out. The house felt cold and empty. She hated it, especially when she was keyed up. Restlessness prodded her between the shoulder blades. Thank God, she had the meeting with Alice to distract her or she might have taken Angel up on his offer of dinner. Being the wife of a COO fit her personality like a glove. There was always some event to attend, a party to host or contact to schmooze. Besides that, she grew up in Las Vegas and always had a list of friends to party with, but times changed. Most of her friends had settled down and were strapped with kids while she had nothing.

She stripped off the tangerine dress and showered before she sat on the counter in her bathroom to apply makeup. She was halfway through when the need for company forced her to fetch Vinny. She set him in the corner and stood in front of the mirror, hands on her hips.

She wore a thong and nothing else. Red hair spilled over narrow shoulders and pale skin. How long had it been since she had a spray tan? She cupped her breasts and glanced at the urn.

“I know you liked them big, but I’m kinda digging these little ones. I can wear whatever I want, I don’t have to wear a bra twenty-four seven, and my back isn’t sore.”

She perused her eyeshadows and settled on a berry color. She wasn’t feeling light and playful, so her makeup and outfit would have to do the work to raise her spirits.

“I saw Lyla today. She’s struggling with the whole killing her dad thing.” She pawed through the makeup strewn over the counter. “I mean, I get it, but it was him or us, and I’m glad I’m still here.”

Her hand shook as she applied eyeliner. She paused and closed her eyes. She understood where Lyla was coming from. It was over, but it didn’t feel over. The rage and discontent were still there, along with the depression and loss she couldn’t quite shake. There was nothing she could do except push through. She took a deep breath and grabbed her makeup brush and eyeshadow palette.

“Did I tell you that I’ve been calling Blade Daddy? He really hates it.”

She talked until the grip on her lungs eased. Her determination to move on didn’t mean the grieving episodes and panic attacks would magically disappear. This was life. She had to learn how to keeping moving forward while a part of her wanted to curl up on the floor and cry.

Carmen slipped into a crimson colored halter dress with two thin straps crisscrossing over her bare back and two high slits. Now that she had small tits again, she could wear dresses like this without fear of having a nipple mishap—not that that stopped her in the past. Her berry smoky eye was perfection, and she found heels in the same shade. Fiery ringlets highlighted her kickass makeup job. Seeing pops of color definitely improved her mood. She added a bracelet with rubies in the shape of hearts and put a ring on each finger. One could never go wrong with bling. The more jewels she added, the better she felt. Her massive wedding ring didn’t fit with her ensemble. She stared at the diamond ring for a long minute before she slipped it off. She glanced at Vinny before she placed it in the black velvet box he proposed with. Her hands shook as she placed the box at the back of her jewelry chest.

“What do you think?” she asked, turning to show Vinny her ass. He was back on the dresser where she preferred him to be, watching over her. She backed it up the way he liked it before she went to him. She went up on tiptoes to give him a kiss, leaving a berry outline on the shiny metal.

“I love you,” she said as she backed away and grabbed her clutch. “Don’t let me do anything too stupid.”

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