Page 150 of Awakened by Sin

Her heart skipped a beat. “What are you talking about?”

“You look hard, untouchable. You use clothes the same way I do—to make a statement.” He grasped her free hand and carried it to his mouth. He kissed the inside of her wrist. “You may think you’re a badass bitch, but I know your secret.”

She tensed. “Secret?”

“You’re soft.” He unfurled her hand and kissed her fingertips. “Delicate. You champion those who need it. Lyla, Honey, Alice … What war are you fighting tonight, Carmen?”

An internal one that she was losing. Angel enhanced her carnal hunger into debauched desires that chased through her mind. Marcus’s gentleness made her feel like a depraved pervert.

He cupped her chin. “Tell me what you need.”

The hand holding her wine glass trembled as she tried to get her skittering thoughts together. If Angel hadn’t publicly humiliated that woman, he would have been the perfect candidate to help her out tonight. Angel was right. Vinny’s death changed her. She’d always had a high sex drive, but now there was a dark edge to it—a craving she wasn’t comfortable with because it was new and unexplored. She was in the mood to be used, pushed to her limits, and wrung dry. She needed a man who wouldn’t use her dark needs against her. Was Marcus up to the challenge or was she about to destroy their tentative friendship by asking for too much?

21

“Carmen, tell me what you want.”

She drained the glass of wine before she took the plunge. “Do you have fantasies?”

“What?”

She grasped his tie to reel him in. He came willingly and towered over her. His lips were so close, but she knew it wouldn’t be enough. She cupped the back of his neck and ignored her heart which sped up as anxiety and lust mixed with alcohol and heated her blood.

“Fantasies, Marcus. Do you have any?”

Witnessing what Angel was capable of and what he dared made her hungry to be dominated. She was a strong, capable woman, but right now, she wanted someone else to call the shots and rule her life so she could take a break. Marcus watched her closely, probably trying to figure out where this was headed.

“You,” he said.

“What?”

“You’re my fantasy.”

“Me doing what?”

“Anything.” He shrugged. “Everything. You’re doing a good job of giving me variety.”

She looped her arms around his neck and went on tiptoes so their lips brushed as she said, “I want you to use me.”

“What?”

She stared into his eyes as she said, “Whatever fantasy you have, make me do it.” One hand slipped into his hair. “Make me submit. Wring me dry.”

There was a lot of activity in his eyes, but he didn’t speak. She wasn’t even sure he was breathing.

“I’m going to fight you,” she whispered, and his body locked against hers. “I need to battle tonight, and I want you to win.”

She stroked the side of his face. Her stomach jittered as she waited for him to respond. Only the sound of the gently dripping water filled the room. He hadn’t shoved her away and called her crazy yet. Words tumbled out of her mouth, desires she didn’t know she possessed.

“I need you to make me believe I’m yours. Completely, irrevocably. I need to believe things will go right in my life because it’s yours, and you won’t let anything happen to your fuck toy.”

The night of Vinny’s murder marked the beginning of her perfect life being torn to shreds. She lost Vinny and her future, her father, and Uncle Manny. Fast forward three years and she was still floating through life with no anchor ortrueNorth. She wanted to imagine she belonged to someone, even if it was only for an hour. She had been alone for so long. The need to feel bonded to someone, to be connected on a visceral level burned in her gut. Before, she arrogantly believed she could control her life, Vinny’s life, Lyla’s life. Vinny was gunned down, Gavin cheated … She couldn’t control people, she couldn’t controlanything, so she would give someone else the reins … temporarily, if he accepted. She didn’t know who she was anymore. She wanted someone to mold her into someone worth keeping.

She stroked the side of his face with a trembling hand.“Use me, Marcus.”

He searched her eyes.“Idon’tknow how to do this.”

Oh. My. God. He was willing. Her eyes stung with tears of relief and that awful wrenching feeling in her heart subsided. Her heart swelled with emotion. Holy shit. Marcus Fletcher would lethis caveman free. Anticipation and excitement made her breathing heavy. This was dangerous, but she trusted him. Marcus matched her time and again, and he was willing to step off the cliffwith her again. She role played with Vinny but never like this. She’d never had these urges before, but they were here now and not going away. It was time to purge. She hopedMarcus was up for it.

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