Page 105 of Awakened by Sin

“I lost your father. I can’t lose you too. I’m here. I can help you through this. I need you here with me, baby. Stay with me.”

Carmen gave a tiny nod that satisfied her mother. The hand wiped away her tears and resumed giving her a bath.

“Gavin’s involved.”

Oh, shit.

“Lyla doesn’t know all the details. Something about you, his cousin, a shooting, the Black Vipers, and he left shortly after. Whatever happened yesterday is done. Gavin will handle it.”

She rinsed Carmen’s hair as she continued to talk.

“I prayed for a daughter because I knew your father would forbid you from becoming an enforcer.”

Yes, she had heard that more than once over the years.

“Your father never worried about you because he believed you could handle anything, and he was right. And what you couldn’t handle, Manny and Gavin would.”

“Mom—”

“Hush.”

Her mom wrapped her in a robe and combed her hair before she led her downstairs. Mom pushed her onto a chair at the table and put a glass of water in front of her along with two aspirin. The cold water soothed her raw throat. She heard the sizzle of butter hit a hot pan as Mom bustled around the kitchen. It seemed that it took less than a minute for Mom to place a grilled cheese sandwich in front of her.

“Eat.”

She obeyed because she didn’t have any fight left. Mom sat across from her with her own sandwich, and they ate in silence. When she finished, she felt better, but the heavy weight on her chest was still there. Mom watched her with quiet expectation. She opened her mouth and then closed it. Her hands fisted in her lap, and she swallowed hard.

“You’re going to get through this, Carmen.”

“I used to be strong,” she whispered as a tear slipped down her cheek.

“No one is strong all the time. You’ve been taking care of people for a long time. You took Lyla under your wing when you were kids, you took care of Vinny, and then you took on Lyla after the attack. Then you came home and took care of me.” Her voice shook, and she reached for Carmen’s hand and squeezed it. “I know it wasn’t easy. You have a good heart, Carmen. You take on so many things without thinking twice. You don’t have a mean bone in your body.”

“I killed the leader of the Black Viper gang.”

Mom paled. “What? Why?”

“H-he said Vinny becoming crime lord was a joke, that Gavin signed his death warrant, but he was wrong …” She shook her head as memories cascaded through her. “He was wrong.”

“Carmen?”

“It’s my fault,” she whispered.

“What’s your fault?”

“I killed Vinny.” Her mother shook her head and opened her mouth, but she spoke over her. “I did. I told Vinny to do it. I encouraged him. I called Gavin and told him to make Vinny crime lord.”

Silence filled the kitchen.

“I knew what to say to make Gavin give in. I’m the one who made it happen. It’s my fault.” She stared straight ahead as she said, “Hearing him mock Vinny’s life, hearing him blame Gavin …” She hung her head, too ashamed to meet her mother’s eyes. “If Vega hadn’t killed Vinny, Gavin wouldn’t have gone crazy. Uncle Manny would still be alive, and Lyla wouldn’t have s-scars.”

“It’s done, Carmen.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s not.”

“Carmen, let it go.”

“I can’t.”

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