Page 36 of Recaptured by the Crime Lord

“If you trust me, why’d you ask for birth control?”

Lyla tried to shove him off her, but he didn’t budge. “That’s my choice, Gavin!”

“Why do you want to prevent pregnancy?”

“Because we shouldn’t rush into having kids. We have a lot of issues to work through first.”

“Like?”

“Like what kind of life we’re going to have in a month! You just went back to work today. I had to call you every hour. That’s not normal, Gavin.”

“You know why I’m doing it.”

“I get it, but you can’t tell a kid to do that. Or maybe you want to homeschool it because you can’t stand to have the kid be away from you? You can’t make a kid a prisoner, Gavin.”

His eyes were narrow and angry. “You feel like a prisoner?”

“At first, yes, but I want to be your captive so...”

“So what are we talking about?”

“We’re talking about your need for control. I don’t know if you’re going to ease up in a few weeks or never.”

“Dad’s killer is on the loose.”

“And yet I can get a full night of sleep without worrying about that and I’m the one who looked into his eyes.” Lyla shuddered. “We can’t stop living our lives because of him. We need tolive. That’s what Manny would have wanted for us.”

“And living means trying for a baby,” he said implacably.

Her stomach iced. “I don’t want to bring anyone into our situation unless it’s stable.”

“Meaning I’m not?”

“We both aren’t. I could drop into depression and so could you. We don’t know how this marriage is going to work or how the underworld is going to handle you being out of the game. There are so many variables.”

“Like you said, we can’t live our lives based on other people’s agenda. We need to do what we want regardless of those factors. In my mind, our life is gonna be like this: I wake up with you, make love to you, and go to work. You do whatever you want during the day. I come home, I want you here. We eat, shower and fuck. I fall asleep with you wrapped around me. That’s what I plan for us. What about you?”

Lyla didn’t know what to say. Gavin stroked her stomach and when his eyes met hers, she caught her breath at the hunger there.

“When I was in jail I had a dream that we had a daughter that looked exactly like you. I walked in the front door and this little girl ran to me. I caught her up in my arms. She was so small and full of life. She covered my faces with kisses and told me I needed to help her make cookies. Her name was Nora.”

“Your mother’s name?” Her heart wrenched at the image he painted in her mind.

“Yes. She was so real. I know exactly what she was wearing, the smell of her hair, the weight of her against my chest. Even now, I have feelings for her and she doesn’t exist.”

Lyla’s eyes filled with tears. This man knew how to rip her heart out. She heard the yearning in his voice and ached to give him what he wanted. “You’re killing me here.”

“I love you,” he said fiercely. “No one will ever love you like I do.”

He was telling the truth. It wasn’t possible for any man to love her more than Gavin Pyre did.

“Our kids will be my redemption, my way to make up for all the shit I’ve done. In my mind, we need kids to move forward or we’re going to keep sliding backwards. Nora was...” He shook his head and she saw his eyes glint with tears. “Beautiful. Pure. I need that in my life.”

“No pressure on me,” she said faintly.

“You don’t need to worry about it. It’ll happen,” he said with complete confidence.

“How do you know?”

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