Page 12 of Recaptured by the Crime Lord

“You know? That’s all you have to say?” she demanded, slapping her hands on the marble island.“They tortured him.”She felt as if her heart were breaking all over again. “I watched them kill him.” The awful memories, never far from the surface made her body erupt with goose bumps.

“I’m sorry, Lyla.”

“Don’t say that to me! Don’t you dare say that now!”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Nothing. Just like you did in the hospital.”

His eyes had an unnatural sheen to them. “If I knew the price avenging Vinny would cost, I wouldn’t have done it.”

“But I told you what would happen. They won’t stop even if you’re out of the game.” Something in his eyes told her that he agreed, but he didn’t say it out loud. “What’s done is done.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “I can’t change our past, but I can damn well try to make it up to you.”

“So that’s why you brought me back? Because you feel guilty?” she asked in a dead voice.

“I feel guilty as hell.” His eyes flicked to her chest and then back to her eyes. “You’re mine to protect and twice you were harmed. There won’t be a third time.”

“If you let me live my own life, there’s no reason for them to come after me.”

He said nothing for a beat and then, “I can’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Let you live without me. I lashed out at you when Vinny died because I’ve never felt pain like that in my life. I knew he wasn’t ready.Ikilled him and I have to live with that. I also have to live with Dad’s death.” An agonized expression twisted his features. “I think about it everyday, every hour. Knowing his killer is still out there, breathing...” The veins in his neck popped as he tried to rein in his rage. “I want to—no, Ineedto kill him.”

After what Lyla witnessed, she couldn’t agree more. The man who killed Manny was a sadist. Because of him, she would never be the same.

“But I can’t,” Gavin said. “Maybe it’s a good thing I went to jail. It forced me to stop obsessing, to think about my future...”

His unwavering stare made her heart skip with anxiety.

“You’re my future,” he said.

Lyla shook her head because she wasn’t capable of speech.

“You nearly died. You should have. Your injuries...” He shook himself as if he couldn’t handle the images in his mind. “I never prayed in my life until that day. I think God had mercy on me. I can live without my cousin, I can live without my dad, but I can’t live without you.”

The spark of warmth in her belly alarmed Lyla. No. She couldn’t let him in because he was a smooth talker.

“I know you hate me. You have every right to. I forced you into a life you didn’t want. I’m selfish. I don’t want to live without you, even if you can’t forgive me. I need you here.” He ran his hands through his hair and paced away. He stood with his back to her as he admitted, “If I had an ounce of mercy in me, I’d let you live a normal life, but knowing you’re out there, I can’t leave you alone.” He turned back to her, jaw tight, hands flexing at his sides. “I know you’re angry, that you’ll never forget what happened. Neither will I. Make me pay for it.”

“What?”

He spread his hands wide. “Do your worst, Lyla.”

“You married me and brought me here to punish you?” He’d officially lost his mind.

“I brought you back because my life is worthless without you. I married you because I need you bound to me. You anchor me. After the hit on you and dad, I lost it. I went on a fucking rampage. I killed...” He shook his head. “I need you to keep me from losing my shit. I need to see you, smell you, and touch you. Your presence keeps me from going black.”

“I can’t do anything for you.”

“You can. Yesterday with Carmen, I fucked up again. I can’t seem to rein it in. I’m a fucking bomb waiting to go off. That’s why I took you in the room on the jet. You calm me the fuck down. I can take anything if you’re with me. I just... need you.”

Lyla didn’t know what to say.

“I’m messed up,” he said unapologetically, “and I don’t give a shit about most of the world, but you... You humanize me. I need you with me, Lyla. I’ll take whatever you give me.”

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