Page 7 of Shane

“It sounds like you’re dealing with many conflicting emotions, Kennedy. On one hand, there’s your father’s engagement, which changes the dynamics at home, and on the other, there’s Shane, who now plays a much more complicated role in your life.”

"I just... I feel betrayed in a way.”

“How so?”

“I never believed that my parents were going to get back together, but the fact that my father is moving on and with Shane’s mother is just a lot to swallow. It's like I'm losing ground under my feet.”

“I know that stability is important to you.”

“Yes.”

“That feeling of instability is natural, Kennedy. The new family dynamics of your parents’ divorce can disrupt your sense of normalcy.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Torres. I don’t feel as anxious as I once did when I left for college. Families change. I understand that,” I tell her, not wanting her to think I’m still whining about the divorce. “They separated over two years ago. I’m not by any means over it, but I’m also not spinning out over it anymore either.”

“Good, then perhaps we should talk more about Shane.”

I shift in my seat.

“You’ve told me very little about him in past sessions, except that he’s the son of your father’s girlfriend and that you have a very complicated connection with him at school. Can you tell me more about that?”

“This connection, if that’s what we’re calling it, was unexpected,” I sigh, feeling my cheeks warm with a blush. "I met him before I knew my Dad met Kate. I’m not sure why I haven’t discussed him with you before. I guess I didn’t feel it was important enough to talk about.”

“And now?”

I’m stuck on what to say, or maybe it hurts too much to express my thoughts, so I remain quiet momentarily, pulling a tissue from the dispenser on the table in front of me.

Dr. Torres writes something down before looking back at me.

“It's not uncommon to develop feelings for someone who is always around, especially in intense situations. It's also possible that your emotions are more complex because of the family changes."

“It might be a bit more complicated than that.”

“How so?”

“The two of us had kind of a false start.”

“What kind of a false start?”

“When we first met, I thought, for a moment, that something could happen between us. We’re such opposites. I’d never met anyone like him. It was easy, and honestly, being with him was fun.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And around him I feel…pretty.”

“You’re attracted to each other.”

“Very much so, but of course, this was all before I found out about his mother, the interloper.”

I don’t know why; it’s not as if anyone can hear me, but I say that last comment in almost a whisper-low voice.

“And after you learned about them?”

“It may have been a little difficult just to turn off those feelings, those desires, but it could have been much easier if he had been a gentleman about it.”

“Did he hurt you, Kennedy?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s just that we had an understanding. There were rules. He keeps breaking them.”

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