Page 5 of Neo

I’ve lost a year of my life to shock and sadness since my mother passed away from what doctors say was a ruptured brain aneurysm. Since that horrible Christmas Eve, I’ve taken a year off of college to grieve and then put our house on the market so I could sell it to settle my mother’s debts. To make things even more difficult, because I can’t financially support myself, I’ve been forced to uproot my entire life and move across the country to live with a total stranger.

My father…Steven.

My parents met when they were freshmen at Valencia City University, a small private liberal arts college in Valencia City, Nevada. When my mom became pregnant with me, she had no choice but to move back home to Pennsylvania to live with Grandma and raise me. My father, on the other hand, stayed in Nevada and has built his life here.

While in school, my father joined a fraternity and one of his frat brothers is the current president of the university. Now that President Harmon (who my dad simply calls Bob) has learned about my situation, the school has offered me a full-ride if I want to finish my degree. Even though I don’t want to go to school there, I couldn’t say no because I need the scholarship if I want to finish school. Although my mom never regretted giving birth to me, graduating from college was the one thing she wasn’t able to accomplish, which explains why earning a college degree was my mom’s biggest dream for me.

Your education is important, Violet. It will open so many doors for you,she said countless times.

“It’s just that I was doing so well at my old school,” I tell my father, foolishly holding on to some hope that he’ll do the right thing and help me move back to Pennsylvania and finish college there. “They made accommodations for me there.”

In high school, I was diagnosed with an executive functioning disorder which some people think is just double talk for “a disorganized mess”. It’s an actual issue though, that makes it difficult for me to study in a way that’s productive and stay on top of my assignments.

“And you’ll do great at VCU too. It’s really one of the country’s best-kept secrets. It’s a baby Ivy League school without the high price tag.”

I try not rolling my eyes at his repeated description of his beloved alma mater. It’s all he can talk about since the school extended the scholarship to me, avoiding any discussion of my learning challenges.

“I just wish you would move into a dormitory. Your mom lived in Palm West. I was in East.”

Which is exactly why I don’t want to live there. Doesn’t he get it? I’m already afraid that I’ll feel her presence all over campus. Living off campus in an apartment with an old high school classmate from back home will at least give me some sense of separation.

“Kennedy needs a roommate, and she’s the only person who I’ll know when I start there. It will help me adjust,” I tell him.

“Well, it’s fantastic Bob was able to also give you a cash housing stipend to live where you want. In our day, we had to live in campus housing. There were no choices.”

Every time my father discusses all the things that President Harmon has done for me, he says it proudly, as if he’s the one actually footing the bill.

Actually, sir, you probably owe me eighteen years’ worth of damn child support.

I offer him a stunted smile in response, not really giving a damn about how things were in the day. Hell, back in his day, he was busy getting girls pregnant and leaving them to fend for themselves.

The awkward silence between us grows, and he fills it with more questions.

“What do you want to do about your things from the house?” he asks.

“I’ll keep them in storage if that’s okay with you?”

“Uh, sure,” he says with some hesitance, I assume because he doesn’t want to take on any extra financial responsibilities for me.

“Just until I graduate,” I assure him. “And then I’ll pay you back, of course.”

“It’s fine, Violet,” he says, but I’m uncertain if he’s really okay with it or if he’s just saying that because he feels like he should. And why would I know? I don’t know this man at all. “You don’t have to pay me for anything. I’m your father.”

Uh, not even close, dude.

“Okay, thanks.”

My father lives about thirty minutes from campus. Close enough that I could certainly commute to school if I wanted to, but the one thing we agreed on is that I need to live near campus instead of at home with him. He claims it’s so I can get the full VCU experience, but I know better. He doesn’t need his new daughter living here and cramping his style, and I certainly don’t want to be here either.

I was willing to take an Uber to my new apartment that I’ll share with my friend, Kennedy, but he wouldn’t hear of it and is driving me there instead.

“Will you come home for Christmas?” he asks after we’ve been driving silently on a long stretch of Nevada highway for fifteen minutes.

Home?

I have no home.

It died a year ago.

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