Page 15 of Cook

Having a full wardrobe at Mom’s house, I didn’t need to go back to the Ridge for anything, so I had only visited the mall before returning. I couldn’t stay here, though. Mom could do that hand-holding.

When I walked into the kitchen, Mom had prepared a feast, but none of the food had been touched. All my childhood favorites sat on the dinner table, brimming with cheese. Those were simpler times and before I knew how to cook. Mom had made chocolaty desserts too, but they were also untouched. Maddie sat at the table, staring at all the food, and I tried to fight my grimace.

I had warned Mom not to go overboard, but the woman didn’t know how not to. If this was before, Daddy would’ve eaten his fill, then beaten her senseless for wasting all this food.

“You’re back,” said Maddie nearly breathlessly. An empty plate sat in front of her.

“Yeah.” I set bags on the sofa and walked into the dining room. “Where’s Mom?”

“I took a shower, but she said the bathroom was disgustingly dirty. She had to clean it before I used it again.” Maddie frowned.

Damn it. Mom probably wasn’t taking her pills again, and her anxiety was getting bad. I didn’t help by dropping a stranger at her door. But Mom had always wanted a daughter, someone who had fewer chances of ending up like Daddy.

“Did you eat anything?” I asked.

“Um...” She puckered her lips and narrowed her eyes on the food, as though she didn’t know where to start. Who could blame her with this spread?

I clenched my teeth to stop myself from telling her to eat some of everything, that she was too fucking skinny.

Maddie wore different clothes now, which were a little better fitting. But they screamed old. Her damp hair clung to her skin, stringy. “I don’t know where to start,” she admitted.

I snorted. “That happens with Mom.”

Maddie shook her head. Small tremors rushed down her body. “I’m not really hungry either.”

But she didn’t leave the table, and I wondered if there had been consequences for her in the past.

“I’ll put the food away. Someone will eat it.” Usually me.

I grabbed a full pot of homemade mac and cheese from the table. Maddie had been eyeing it like she recognized the food, but she hadn’t moved to take any. I thought about slamming a heaping onto her plate and ordering her to eat. Instead, I took the pot over to the stove.

“You ate a taco earlier, so it’s okay not to want anything else.” I had to push away the urges I had to take care of her inmyway. I just wanted to see her hollow cheeks fill out faster. After putting away the dish, I asked, “Is there anything I can get for you?”

“Sleep,” she said. “In a bed.”

I wiped my hands off on a towel. “You can go to your bedroom.”

She didn’t move from the table, and I squinted at her. When was the last time she’d made her own choices? Ever?

“Tell me what you need, Maddie.” I couldn’t read her mind, no matter how much I searched her features.

She raised her head, pink on her cheeks, and mumbled, “I like the other bedroom.”

“The other...” Oh my God, was she actually saying...? “You want to sleep in my bedroom?”

She wrung her hands and raised her shoulders to her ears, nodding at me as if I might lash out. “It smells like you.”

I inhaled sharply and let the air leave my body slowly. I could sleep somewhere else or head back to the Ridge. “All right. I’ll crash in the spare room for tonight.”

She stood up, her arms entwined with her hands clasped in front of her lower belly. Maddie tilted her head as she approached me. “Will you lay in bed with me? Just until I fall asleep?”

My eyes popped wide open, and I forcibly blinked. Whatever I had been expecting, it wasn’t that. “Yeah, okay,” I said after a moment. “Let me put the rest of the food away first.”

In my bedroom, I closed the door behind us. Mom was in the bathroom, making a racket with all of her cleaning. It would be a surprise if Maddie got any sleep tonight, and I wondered if she’d slept in the hospital. Probably not, unless it was drug induced. I doubted she’d rested well while with Signora. Dark bags hung under her eyes, opposite of her milky white skin. She almost glowed in the slanted moonlight coming through the windows. She needed the sun on her face to make her look less ghostly.

“So.” I cleared my throat.

The bed was freshly done. Knowing my mother and her cleaning-focused anxiety, she had probably changed out the sheets today, but the room smelled stale. I rarely slept there. More often than not, I drove back to the Ridge in the middle of the night.

---