Page 9 of Mistaken Impression

“Have you heard from Drew?” I asked. “I haven’t spoken to him for a few days.”

Hunter nodded his head. “We’ve been talking fairly regularly.”

“How do you think he is?”

“In a bad place. He feels guilty for getting Lexi pregnant. He’s hurting because he can’t even be friends with her sister anymore, let alone have a relationship with her… and he’s got no idea what the future holds.”

“Is he back from New York?”

“Yeah. He came back on Thursday.” He frowned at me, tilting his head. “Don’t look so offended.” I hadn’t been aware that I was, but Hunter could always read me like a book.

“I’m just surprised I haven’t seen him, that’s all.”

“He’s not feeling very sociable.”

“But he’s talking to you on the phone?”

He sighed. “Yeah.” He released Livia and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his eyes fixed on mine. “It’s notpersonal, Ella. And by that I mean, you shouldn’t take his silence personally. This is all very personal to him, but I think he needs to talk things through with another man… with someone who knows what it feels like to lose the person they love most.” He sat back again, taking Livia’s hand in his.

“I think it’s also not something you or I can understand,” Livia said, and I looked over at her.

“Why not?”

“Because I think men have a difference perspective in this situation.”

Hunter looked down at her. “Just so you know, I’ve never been in Drew’s situation myself.”

She smiled. “I know. I’m just saying I think it’s probably easier for you to put yourself in his shoes than it is for Ella and me.”

He nodded his head, and I did, too. I could see what she meant, and why my big brother loves her so much.

“Do you think he’ll travel around as much as he did before?” I asked. Drew’s job has always involved him traveling far and wide. It was one of the things that most appealed to him when he started out. Obviously, he can afford to go wherever he wants, but he once told me he liked the idea of traveling with a purpose, rather than aimlessly… and I guess that makes sense. At least, it does when you’ve got as much money as we have, and can do whatever you please.

“He said he’ll be going to New York a lot more, but as for everything else, he hasn’t decided yet. I imagine he’ll carry on as before until the baby’s born, but nothing’s set in stone. He and Lexi haven’t decided what they’re going to do yet… how they’re going to live.”

“Not together, I’m guessing.”

“No… not together. That much is for certain.” He shook his head. “Drew’s still getting his head around losing Lexi’s sister, let alone the whole concept of becoming a father.”

“It’s such a mess, isn’t it?”

It is a mess, but so am I, and I need to stop sitting here daydreaming about last night and get dressed.

I’m still not sure about jeans and I throw them down on the couch and go back to my closet, standing with my hands on my hips. I’m only wearing the towel I wrapped around myself when I came out of the shower, but I can’t even choose my underwear until I’ve decided about the clothes. Practicality is essential, given what I think I’ll be doing, but I also want to be smart… so maybe a dress?

I turn, opening the closet behind me. It’s warm today, so a summer dress would do, and I pull out the yellow one with blue piping, holding it up. It’s new, and French… like a lot of my clothes. I’d gained a few pounds while I was in Paris. It was one of the hazards of learning to cook, I guess. Before I came home, I wanted to get back in shape, and as well as watching what I ate, I joined a gym for the first time in my life. As a result, most of my old clothes didn’t fit… and that gave me the perfect excuse to go out and buy some new ones.

This dress came from a lovely little boutique I discovered on the Boulevard St. Germain. It’s quite fitted, but stretchy, so I can move around easily in it, and it’s informal enough that it shouldn’t look like I’m trying too hard.

“Perfect.”

A white bra and panties will be fine, and I grab them, heading back to the bedroom, where I throw everything onto the bed and start styling my hair. I don’t know who thought short hair was easier to maintain, but they were wrong. I keep mine this length because it saves me having to tie it up in the kitchen, but it still takes me a good twenty minutes to straighten it intothe pixie style I like, and then work through the smoothing oil, to make it look messed up. If I’m not going anywhere, I can just let it dry naturally, and I often do, but I’m trying to create the right impression today… even if I’m not entirely sure what that impression is.

One thing I do know as an absolute certainty is that I’m not wearing heels today. I fully expect I’ll be on my feet until the time I get back here tonight, so I’m going for comfort, and once I’m dressed, I wander back into the dressing room to find my navy slingback ballerina flats. They have huge blue buckles on the front, and I love them.

Finally, I grab a cardigan. My dress is sleeveless and if I end up working late, I might get chilly…

My stomach is churning with nerves, so I skip breakfast, making myself a coffee and pouring it into a travel mug. I’m running a little later than I’d hoped, thanks to my indecision – and my daydreaming – and I grab my purse and knife case, and head out the door.

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