Page 148 of Mistaken Impression

“No,” he says, grabbing me and pulling me back. “No, Ella.”

“It wasn’t planned, Mac. I’d understand if you had doubts.”

“I don’t,” he says, shaking his head and letting out a sigh. “I—I’ll be honest with you, when I didn’t hear from you, after I left you that message, I was devastated. Not just because I wanted you back, but because I wanted this… more than I would have thought possible.”

“Really?”

“Yes. And whatever you say, I don’t think either of us can claim it was entirely unplanned. I only forgot the condom once, but we both knew exactly what we were doing every time after that. We understood the risks we were taking, and we went in with our eyes wide open, didn’t we?” I nod my head. He’s not saying anything I haven’t thought myself. “I’d never want to undo this, but I’d love to turn back the clock and undo my mistakes and all the awful things I said to you, so I could have been here when you found out about this… so I could have been here right from the beginning.”

“I should have told you.”

“No. I shouldn’t have left it for you to tell me. I should have followed through… made sure.” He shakes his head. “Even if you didn’t want me, I should’ve…”

“I—I wanted you, Mac,” I say, resting my hands on his biceps, my body tingling at the memory of what it felt like to be safe in his arms. “I always wanted you.”

He swallows my words in a bruising kiss. “I’m sorry, Ella.”

I pull back, looking up into his glistening eyes. This has to stop. We can’t keep looking back and apologizing all our lives.

The kettle is about to boil, but I turn off the stove and take his hand. “Can I show you something?”

“Sure.”

I lead him to the bottom of the stairs, hoping as I put my foot on the first step, that what I’m about to show him will go some of the way to convincing him we’ve got better things to do than say sorry. We’ve got so much more to look forward to…

***

Mac

I follow Ella up the stairs, unable to stop myself from smiling.

She’s in love with me… and all my fears, my worries, the months of loneliness and pain seem like distant memories now. I can feel her hand in mine. It’s real. Like our love, which I can see in her eyes and feel in my heart.

I’m not sure where she’s taking me. It could be her bedroom, I guess… although I’ve got no idea what she thinks she’s going to ‘show’ me in there. I’ve seen it all already. Although I haven’t seen her naked and pregnant… so maybe that’s it.

We get to the top and she stops, staring up at me.

“I didn’t realize you’d met Drew.”

“Neither did I. At least, I didn’t realize the photographer was Drew… and that Drew was your brother. When did you find out?”

“On the day the invitation arrived for the awards ceremony. He was here with me, and told me he’d met you.”

“He hadn’t realized the connection until then?”

She shakes her head. “He’d realized it,” she says. “He’d just kept it to himself for a while.”

“Did he have a reason?” I wonder if he’d decided I wasn’t good enough for her. “Did he know about our argument?”

“Yes. Both of my brothers knew about that.”

“So, did he think you’d be better off with someone else… or at least without me?”

“No. On the contrary. He kept it to himself because I was upset about us breaking up, and I was pregnant. He didn’t think that was a good mix.”

“He was probably right.” Although I don’t feel very good about hearing any of that. “What made him change his mind?” I ask. “About telling you, I mean?”

“He wanted me to know you’d liked me… even then.”

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