Page 131 of Mistaken Impression

I knew how he felt. I still do. It might have been months since I last saw Mac, but if I thought for one minute he was going to be at this ceremony tonight, I’d be speeding in the opposite direction.

There’s only so much I can take…

And it seems the same thing applies to Drew.

“What’s it like, knowing the sex of your baby?” he asks, out of the blue.

I glance over at him, smiling, and I shrug my shoulders, taking a hand from the steering wheel and gently rubbing my bump. “In one way, I suppose it spoils the surprise a bit, but in other ways, it’s easier. I knew what color to decorate the nursery, and when I get around to buying clothes, I’ll know what to get… I guess.” I’ve bought a couple of things already. I got them on the day I first felt the baby move, when I was missing Mac even more than usual. Somehow, buying a few things for our baby made me feel like a normal mom in waiting, althoughmy empty apartment reminds me every day that there’s nothing ‘normal’ about this at all.

He sighs. “Lexi didn’t want to know what she’s having…”

“But you did?”

“Yeah. I could hardly force her though, could I?”

“Not really.”

“Have you thought of any names yet?” he asks.

“None whatsoever. What about you?”

“Lexi wants Xavier if it’s a boy… and Maisie if it’s a girl.”

I frown at him. “Xavier?”

“Yeah.”

“I take it you’re hoping for a girl?”

He chuckles. “I always was, to be honest.”

“You want a girl?”

“Yeah.”

I smile, unable to help myself. “Would you be offended if I told you how proud I am of you?”

He twists in his seat slightly, but I don’t turn to face him. We’re coming into the city and I need to concentrate.

“No, but I can’t see what I’ve done to make anyone proud. If I hadn’t got Lexi pregnant…”

“It’s easy to be wise after the event. The point is, you’ve done the right thing. You’ve changed your life. You’ve adjusted your work to fit in with Lexi.”

I rest my hand on my bump for a moment, then indicate, taking a left-hand turn.

“Do you have any regrets?” he asks.

“About this? No. But I regret what happened between me and Mac.”

“That it happened in the first place, or that it ended?”

“That it ended. I can’t regret what we had. I still love him, Drew, and I think I always will.”

He puts his hand on my knee, just for a second, and then withdraws it as we both stare out the windshield, sighing, and full of regret for things we can’t change.

***

Mac

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