Page 124 of Mistaken Impression

“Because whatever we had is over, Moira. We can’t—”

“God, you can be arrogant sometimes.”

“I’m sorry?”

She leans back, staring at me. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds to me like you’re assuming I only came over here because I clearly still find you absolutely irresistible, and I guess it follows that I must be trying to lure you to my flat to re-live our intimate past.”

“Well… I…”

“Did it ever occur to you that I might be over you?”

I feel myself blush, knowing she’s right. “Of course. I mean… sorry. I shouldn’t have made any assumptions. It’s just that there’s someone else, you see, and…”

She frowns. “There’s someone else? Already? You’ve only been back here for a month.”

“I know, but she’s not here. She’s in America.”

“So you left her behind too?” she says. “This is becoming habit-forming, Mac.”

“It isn’t. Not really. It’s just… complicated.”A lot more complicated than when I left you.

“I see. And does her existence on the other side of the Atlantic mean you and I can’t meet up from time to time?”

“N—No. As long as you understand, we can’t be more than friends.”

“Like I said, I’m over you,” she says. “So that’s fine with me.” She finishes her drink and gets to her feet, looking down at me and taking her phone from her handbag. “Why don’t you give me your number and I’ll call you? We can do this again. Or if you’re feeling brave enough, you can come to my flat. I won’t eat you.”

I chuckle and give her my number. She doesn’t offer hers, and I don’t ask for it. But as I watch her walk away, returning to her friends, my mind drifts and I wonder what it must be like to be ‘over’ someone. It’s not something I’ve had to contemplatebefore. I’ve never cared enough to worry. But will I ever be able to think of Ella as someone I used to love?

I think about that for a moment, shaking my head.

Of course I won’t.

I don’t even want to.

Chapter Twelve

Ella

Christmas seems like forever ago now.

So does the morning a few weeks beforehand, when I discovered I was pregnant. Having worked out I was late, I showered and drove into town, stopping at the drugstore for a pregnancy test. I was fairly sure it would be positive, but even so, reading the word ‘pregnant’ on that little screen still made me reel with shock, and I dropped the test into the basin, unable to even keep a hold of it. I stared at it for a while, but the word just stared back at me, so I went and sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what to do. Should I tell Mac? Should I tell Hunter? Or should I just stay in my room for the rest of my life?

In the end, I did nothing. I tried to forget about it in the short term, knowing both of my brothers would be home for the holidays. We could talk about it then… and we did.

I was free of the studio by that time, having emailed Kennedy a few days after I found out I was pregnant. I told her I didn’t want to be involved with the show any more ‘for personal reasons’, and didn’t go into any further detail. She replied with a very blank ‘okay’, and we left it at that. To be honest, I wished I’d done it sooner. It was a lot less trouble than I’d expected.

I just hoped Hunter and Drew would take my other news as well…

I waited until they all got here on Christmas Eve. Hunter and Livia had been frequent visitors in between, but Drew had been away, either on assignment, or in New York, visiting Lexi, and I wanted to tell them all together. For a while, I wondered if he might spend the holidays there, but he said she had plans. To be honest, I think spending so much time together was starting to make him feel like they were in the relationship neither of them had wanted in the first place. The thought of spending the holidays together was probably too much.

“Is she visiting her family?” I asked when he called to tell me he’d be coming home on Christmas Eve.

“I don’t know. She didn’t tell me. I don’t think so, though. Her father hasn’t reacted very well to the news about the pregnancy, and she told me her sister’s working over Christmas.”

“Working?”

“She’s a nurse.”

---