Page 56 of Mistaken Impression

“Linus says you just said ‘take-away’ instead of ‘takeout’.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah, you did.” One of the camera operators peers out from behind his camera, rolling his eyes.

“Oh… sorry.” I haven’t said ‘take-away’, even in real life, since about six months after I moved here. What on earth possessed me to say it now?

Ruby turns to Ella, who’s standing off to one side. “Do we have any more of the curried chicken?”

She nods her head, rushing forward. “I prepared extra, just in case.”

She takes away the bowl I’ve just garnished and prepares another one, filling it with creamy curry, then grabs some more coriander leaves and I step aside while she quickly chops them for me, leaving them in a neat pile.

Once she’s finished, she smiles up at me, giving me a quick wink. “Okay?”

“Yes, thanks.”

I feel guilty for getting it wrong, when I know everyone is desperate to get finished, but the last thing they need is for me to waste more time dwelling on it, so as Ella and Ruby step back behind the cameras, I resume my position.

“Okay everyone?” Ruby raises her voice, and the studio falls into silence. She pauses and then counts me in again.

I take a breath, then look into the camera, smiling. “Okay, so we just need to scatter some chopped cilantro over the top…” I repeat my actions with the freshly chopped coriander leaves. “And there we have it.” Once again, I nudge the dish towards‘Amanda’. “Three of the best takeout dishes in town, all made in the comfort of your own home.”

‘Amanda’ picks up the fork beside her and starts eating, making all the right noises about how good the food is, even though a couple of the dishes are stone cold by now, and I look back at the camera.

“Thanks for watching, folks, and we’ll see you again next week for more masterful meal ideas… with me, Blain… your very own Meal Master.”

I hate that line and struggle not to cringe as I say it, but I keep smiling until Ruby calls out, “And… cut!” and we all heave a sigh of relief.

“Sorry about that, everyone.” It seems only fair that I should apologise for having messed up, but they all smile at me, and ‘Amanda’, whose name is really Bonnie, leans over the island unit, placing her hand on my arm.

“Don’t sweat it,” she says, gazing up into my eyes. “We all make mistakes.”

I know she means well, but she’s not the first of our ‘guests’ to cause me a problem. Like I said, they at least know their lines and how to behave on camera, but that doesn’t stop them from being too tactile, too flirty, or too talkative when it stops rolling.

To be honest, I’m wondering what it is with the women around here.

“Thanks.” I acknowledge her kindness, even though I step away at the same time, so she’s forced to release me.

“Are you doing anything tonight?” she asks, tilting her head and blinking a few times.

Okay. That’s different. None of the others have been quite so obvious.

“Yes. Sorry… I’m afraid I’m busy.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.” She looks genuinely disappointed, but then her face suddenly brightens. “Can I call you?”

She doesn’t have my number, so she’s going to struggle, but I guess that’s what she’s asking for, and I lean a little closer to her, lowering my voice slightly.

“When I say I’m busy, I mean I’m with someone,” I say, the lies falling from my lips with the consummate ease of an actor.

“Oh… okay.” Her shoulders drop, and she climbs down from the stool. “I’ve enjoyed working with you.”

“Me too.”

She looks up again, giving me a smile, and I smile back, just to be polite, waiting for her to walk away, before I turn and find Ella standing right behind me. She looks bewildered, maybe even a little sad, and I wonder how much of that conversation she heard.

I wish I could hold her and tell her it was all lies, but I’m aware of where we are, and that we’re surrounded by far too many people. I don’t want her to leave, though, so I step a little closer. “Were you able to get all your preparations done for next week?” I ask. God, that’s lame.

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