Page 144 of Mistaken Impression

I hold her hand a little tighter. “Our situation is completely different.”

“How?”

“To start with, you’re not my ex-girlfriend.”

“What am I then?”

“I—I don’t know,” I say, taking a breath. “But you’re not my ex-girlfriend. I’ll never be able to think of you as that. And besides, what happened between us wasn’t a mistake. It was intentional… or at least it was calculated. We both knew there were consequences to what we were doing, and I wanted to live with them. I still do. If I could be with you again, I wouldn’t consider myself as giving up anything. I’d consider myself as gaining everything I ever wanted.”

She shakes her head, seemingly unmoved. “There’s no obligation, Mac.”

I let go of her hand, pushing my fingers back through my hair, and she stares into my eyes. “Yes, there is. And in any case, it wasn’t your decision to make. I told you when we were in Vermont that I wasn’t going anywhere.”

She leans forward, her eyes alight. “Yeah, you did. I remember it… and then you left.”

“No. You left me. You walked out.”

“Yes, I did. But what I mean is, you went back to London.”

“Of course I did. What did I have to stay here for? I didn’t know you were pregnant, and I decided I’d rather be fucking miserable in London than fucking miserable here. Jesus… we’re going round in circles.”

“I know, but the point is, this isn’t your problem.” She glances down at the bump, and then looks back at me, raising her chin defiantly. “If you’ve moved on…”

“Moved on?” I stand, staring down at her. “How the hell could you think I’d move on? I get that I let you down. I get that I hurt you… and I’m sorry for everything I did, for every cross word and false accusation. But move on? How was I supposed to do that when my heart was in pieces?”

“Y—Your heart?” she whispers.

“Yes. I love you, Ella. I’ve always loved you.”

It’s like time stops for a moment and then suddenly her face crumples and she bursts into tears.

“No… please don’t cry.” I sit again and pull her into my arms. She’s a little stiff, but she leans against me and I hold her shaking body to mine. “Please, Ella…”

“W—Why did you have to say that now?”

I lean back, looking down into her tear-filled eyes. “Because it’s the truth. I was gonna tell you when we were at the cabin, but then I forgot the condom, and I thought if I said it then, you’d think I was just making platitudes… just saying it because it was something you needed to hear. I wanted you to take me seriously, so I decided to wait until we got back to Boston.”

“Oh, God. But… but I was going to say it then, too.”

My heart stops beating, just for a second, and when it starts again, it’s like the entire world begins anew. “Y—You mean you loved me?”

“Yes. I thought I’d tell you how I felt and then ask you to move in with me.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Why not?”

“Because I was going to do exactly the same thing… except I was going to ask if I could move in with you, rather than the other way around. I wasn’t sure…”

I stop speaking as a phone rings, and I tear my eyes away from Ella and look over at her brother as he pulls his mobile from his pocket, looking at the screen.

“Sorry,” he says. “I need to take this.” He connects the call, holding the device to his ear. “Drew?” He listens, then sits forward in his seat. “Her waters have broken?” I feel Ella tense in my arms and she pulls away, focusing on her brother. “Do you want me to come to the hospital?” We both watch, while Hunter listens avidly, his face a picture of concern and concentration. “Okay. Call if you need me.”

He hangs up, putting his phone down beside him, and turns to Ella. “Lexi?” she says, that one word obviously meaning something to both of them as he simply nods his head in reply. Ella puts her hand on the bump again, her protective instincts coming to the fore, as I guess they’re talking about her brother’s ex-girlfriend, and the fact that she must have gone into labour.

“She’s still in Boston, isn’t she?” Ella asks. “Drew wasn’t gonna take her home until tomorrow.”

“No, she’s still in Boston. He got a call from her sister.”

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