Page 96 of Dreaming of Dawson

“To my aunt’s,” she says, her voice betraying her disappointment.

“Not like this.” I hold her tighter still, looking into her eyes. “What we did wasn’t okay, Mace. It was so much better than that. It was even better than my dreams… and my dreams have been fucking spectacular.” She smiles, thank heavens, and I pull her hard against me.

“Was it better than…” Her voice fades and I know what she wants to ask, so I do it for her.

“Better than Stevie?”

She nods, but before I can say a word, she puts her hand on my chest, stopping me. “Sorry,” she says. “You don’t have to answer that. It was unfair of me to ask.”

“No, it wasn’t. It’s only natural to wonder, although I’m not sure how easy it is for me to explain. You’re both very different, in all kinds of ways. Just like I’m probably very different to James.”

“You certainly are,” she says with a wicked smile.

I chuckle and hold the back of her head, my lips hovering above hers. “I—I guess… I guess it’s like tasting a really great ice cream, and thinking back to all the other great ice creams you’ve ever eaten before. You can’t help thinking about which one might have been better. But then, you realize that’s a waste of time, and you just appreciate the truly fabulous ice cream that’s right in front of you.”

“So I’m an ice cream?” she says, barely breathing.

“You’re sweet enough,” I murmur, dipping my head to kiss her. “And you’re the best fucking ice cream I’ve ever had.”

She gasps, understanding my meaning at last. “Does that mean you wanna lick me?”

“It means I wanna devour you,” I growl. We’re both a little breathless, but I need to say one more thing, and I kiss her briefly before I whisper, “It’s not just the sex that’s different, it’s the things we do together, the way we are together, the way I feel about you… I don’t know how else to explain myself, other than to say that if you walked away from me, I would break. Nothing that’s gone before would come close to how devastated I’d be if you left me…”

“I’ll never leave you,” she says.

“I know. I’m just trying to explain how you make me feel, and how different you are… because if you left me, I’d do everything I could to change your mind. I wouldn’t just ask why, I’d beg you to change your mind, and if you did… if you agreed,then I’d welcome you. It wouldn’t matter if you did it straight away, or if you took a week, or a month, or half a lifetime, I’d be here, waiting. My door would always be open, and so would my heart, because I know I’ll never stop loving you. Not even for a minute.”

She leans against me, her eyes glistening. “Thank you,” she whispers, smiling at me like I’ve just gifted her the world.

“You have nothing to thank me for… except making you late.”

“I don’t care.” She leans up and kisses me, then pulls back, staring at my lips before she giggles for no apparent reason, and then she trots down the stairs. I stand for a moment, mesmerized, the bells still ringing in my ears, and then I stretch my arms above my head, unable to stop myself from chuckling.

Because I’m so damn happy.

I’ve barely had five minutes to draw breath since Macy left, and in a way, that’s a good thing. I haven’t been able to dwell on her absence for too much of the time.

Only every other minute.

She texted me at just after nine-thirty to say she’d arrived at Peony’s. I’d already cleared away the breakfast things, tidied the kitchen, and was making the bed by that time, and I sat down on the edge to reply…

— Thanks for letting me know, babe. Hope you’re okay. SILWY xx

I wasn’t sure if she’d respond. She was at work, after all, but my phone beeped within seconds and I smiled down at her message.

— What on earth does SILWY mean? M xx

— It means ‘so in love with you’ xx

— I’ve never heard of that acronym before. xx

— I just made it up, because I’m so in love with you. xx

— I adore you, you perfect man. xx

— I think we both know I’m very far from perfect, but I adore you too. xx

There was a very brief pause, and then my phone beeped again.

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