Page 11 of Dreaming of Dawson

I’ve been broken ever since.

And I’m not very good at hiding it.

Everyone seems surprised by that. Even Tanner.

After all, men like me don’t get upset when their wives leave. They don’t crumble and fall apart. They bounce back and find someone else.

Assuming they haven’t had the trust kicked out of them, that is.

If I was the kind of man who went in for casual sex, or one night stands, I might have tried that. Maybe it might have been easier. At least I’d have had something in my life to look forward to, even if it was just meaningless sex. But I’ve never been likethat, which means the last couple of years have been lonely… miserable, and lonely.

“How’s the new house?” I ask, desperate to talk about something else.

Tanner tilts his head, then leans forward, resting his elbows on the bar. He knows what I’m doing, but he’s a good enough friend not to question my abrupt change of subject.

“It’s great,” he says. “Zara and Nash have almost finished decorating his room.”

“They’re doing it without you?” I’m surprised by that, but he shrugs his shoulders.

“It was Zara’s idea. Nash was a little pissed with me when I told him we were gonna move. I’d only just decorated his room at the apartment, and when we showed him the pictures of the new house, his room was painted an insipid orange.”

“Sounds horrible,” I say, and he smiles.

“It was. But Zara sat down with him and explained that he could choose whatever color he liked and the first weekend after we moved in, she’d make a start with him on decorating it.”

“I take it that put his mind at rest?”

“It did. They only get to work on it on Saturdays, so we can do family things on Sundays. Although, that said, our ‘family things’ seem to include Nash’s girlfriend most of the time.”

“Nash’s girlfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s eight,” I say, trying to control the furrow on my brow, although it’s a struggle.

“I know, but he’s been seeing a girl called Billie since the beginning of September, and according to Zara – who he confides in more than me – it might be love.”

“Hell… that sounds like a recipe for one or other of them to get their heart crushed.”

“I know. But they’re so cute together. You should see them.”

If I did, I’d probably warn them off. “Nash confides in Zara, does he?” I ask.

“Yeah. All the time.”

“It’s great that they get along so well. I remember how nervous you were when you told Nash about her.”

“So do I.”

I wasn’t sure I understood his urgency at the time. He’d only known Zara for a matter of days, but he was adamant he needed to tell Nash… and nothing was going to stop him. Not even me. That doesn’t mean I didn’t try, though, because like I say, I didn’t understand his motives. It seemed too soon to involve Nash in his relationship, or so I thought. Except I didn’t realize how deeply in love he was. Or even that it was possible to love like that a second time around.

“Does the rest of the house need work?” I ask, because I’d rather think about decorating than love. I haven’t seen his new home yet. It’s a four-bedroom property at the far end of Maple Street, so it’s not exactly miles away, but with the hours I work, it’s hard to spare the time for anything outside of these four walls. Naturally, I’d have to be sober, too… and that’s a rare occurrence these days.

“Not really,” he says. “Apart from Nash’s room, there’s not a lot to do.”

“You were lucky to find somewhere like that just when you needed it, and at the right price.”

“Don’t I know it.” He nods his head.

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