Page 16 of Falling Too Late

ALEX

I was tryingto remember learning what rape was. It wasn't something I could pin down in my memories, and it wasn’t something that was taught to me. My mother woken up one day and said, “Alex, today I am going to teach you the definition of ‘rape.’”

I was raised by the golden rule. The one that was painted down the halls of the elementary school I went to.

Treat others how you would want to be treated.

I can remember one day on the playground, back when there were tons of other kids living in the apartments. I was sitting with Ma when a fight broke out between two other kids. We were all around the age of six at the time. I can’t remember what the fight was, but I do remember Ma telling me that quote. Then once I could read, I saw the quote everywhere.

I would’ve never dreamed of forcing someone to do something. It wasn’t in my nature.

Wren sat curled on the couch. She was still wearing my shirt and sweats. I leaned against the edge of the couch on the farthest end from her. Ma stayed home from work today, even though we couldn’t afford it. She was pacing across the living room floor. She still hadn’t changed out of her work uniform.

Back andforth.??

Back and forth.??

“Do you have any other family?” Ma stopped, turning to look at her. Her hand had run through her hair so many times now that it kept frizzing, catching snags on her fingertips.

“I have my aunt Katie.” She looked down at her hands. “But I went to her when it first started happening. She brought me back to them.”

Ma’s hand clasped over her mouth. She had to spend a few minutes in her room alone. When she came back, she had been crying. Wren hadn’t told us everything. I could tell that much, but she'd said enough to show the gravity of the situation.

My mom lets her boyfriend fuck me. It started when I was ten.

Wren, it’s called rape.

I know.

“Wren, we need to go to the police.”My mom had been begging her to go to the police for the last few hours, but the immediate fear in Wren had her pausing.

Even I was worried Wren would up and run out the door, and how could we help her if she did?

Wren’s eyes welled up. “They don’t believe me.”

She hiccupped and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I’m in the system as a runaway. Every time I try to leave, they pick me up and send me back to them.”

I watched them. Wren was terrified, and she had already reached out to someone she thought would help her, who just put her back in the same situation. Ma wanted to help, but we had experienced the police before. We lived in Poverty Flats. The police seemed like they were in this area constantly. A robbery, shooting, drug bust, prostitution on the corner, you name it. We were a bother to them. A pain in their ass, and they didn’t want to deal with us, oftentimes ignoring pleas for help all together.

A slam sounded from next door; Wren jumped. We all grew silent, listening.?

“Where the fuck is she?!” It was the man’s voice; they were back from looking for her.

“I don’t know! She’s probably dead on the side of the road somewhere,” her mom yelled back.

“She hasn’t been in the news and no police have shown up here, Lynn. And when they do, you are going to fucking jail!”

“Oh, give me a break, they bring her back every time. Stop your fucking whining!”?

He said something but I couldn’t make it out.

“We just have to fucking wait! If she ain’t dead, she's running back to my sister’s house. Kate has a perfect life and doesn’t want some brat fucking that up. She will call, and we will bring her back here. Then we will deal with it from there. I’m going to bed.”A door slammed.

My eyes blurred and then focused again. Wren had her hands clasped over her ears, and she was curled into herself.

This was the first time I bothered to pay attention to the yelling. Listening to the words rather than just turning the TV or radio up louder, or just leaving till it stopped. Before I didn’t care. I’d had no reason to care; I was always just annoyed with it.It was just another day with another fight.

I should have paid more attention. I could have done something. If I had only known, maybe I could have saved her.

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