Page 55 of Falling Too Late

“No, I’m glad you did say something before I made a fool of myself by telling him. I don’t think I’m ready for rejection.” I gave myself a moment to just feel Jon’s warmth. It soothed my jilted feelings. Jon smelled crisp and clean.

I just let myself be held while my heart broke over the love I would probably never have.

CHAPTER 21

ALEX

The last fouryears simultaneously felt like they flew by but also dragged on. As soon as we had graduated high school, I was applying to jobs like crazy, finally landing one at Dan’s Construction. Wren spent months ensuring she had all the right documentation to apply to our local college while also working with Ma at Tony’s. She spent endless hours talking to the school's financial department and finding every resource she could to go to college without having to pay for it. She had been a straight-A student and had one of the highest GPAs in our graduating class. I felt so proud of her when she stood up on the stage as it was announced she was on the honor roll.

Jon was accepted at a university and spent most of his time away, but every chance he could, he was calling us—and then video calling us once Wren and I had both saved up enough money to get smartphones. He always came home to celebrate our birthdays and any big milestone we hit. New phones. New-to-us cars. He was always there. Wren and Jon became closer, able to find their own common ground, both attending college. I was glad they became closer. The guilt from avoiding Jon those first couple of months Wren came into my life had faded away. Now they were friends and I was glad for it.

Well, I was glad.

“Night, guys, thanks for helping!” I waved at Troy and Gavin from the front porch. While Jon and Wren were unpacking the kitchen, we had hauled the remaining boxes into the house and put them in their respective rooms, making things easier for unpacking.

Troy had gotten a call and needed to go, and since Gavin always rode with him, he had to leave too.

They got into their little pickup and drove off. I took a deep breath in the cool night air, getting ready to go back inside.?Jon had been pushing me to tell Wren my feelings for her. To tell her that I wanted to be more than friends.

“Are you ever going to tell Wren how you feel about her?” Jon’s words had caught me off guard. We were playing basketball one day a month ago, just catching up.

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on Alex, It’s obvious that you love her.” He tossed the ball to me and I caught it at my chest. “You're buying a house for her. What are you going to do, live with her as friends for the rest of your life?”

“You don’t know what you are talking about.” I tossed the ball at him, a little harder than necessary.I had accepted that Wren and I would never be anything more than what we were. But that didn’t make the feelings go away.

“Wren is beautiful. She’s sweet and funny, and there are going to be guys that come along and want to date her eventually. Someone is going to scoop her up before you realize it.”

“Wren doesn’t want to date anyone. You don’t know anything, Jon. Her mom’s boyfriend did terrible things, and she has sworn to never date anyone.”

“Alex, don’t be ridiculous. She said that when we were still in high school. She’s graduated college. We are adults now, and things change. She obviously knows not all men are pieces of shit like him. There will be someone who pursues her one day, and I don’t want to see you regret not saying anything sooner.” He tossed the ball back to me, just as hard.

I walked up the court and dribbled, wanting this conversation to end. “Why the hell are you buggin’ about this? I don’t see any guy around her. Troy and Gavin think of her like their little sister, so they aren’t looking at her like that, and I?—”

“Well, maybeIwant something more with her.”

I froze mid-shot, turning to him and frowning. He crossed his arms and stared me down. “You don’t?—”

“Yes, I do, Alex. I like her. I’ve liked her for years, and I’ve been waiting for you to finally make your move. I’ve been trying to be respectful. You are my best friend, but I’m tired of waiting. If you aren’t going to say something to her, then I will.”

“Jon, you don’t know a damn thing about her.”

Oh, give me a fucking break, Alex. I know she was abused. I just had to pay closer attention to her. I know it was bad and I also know her mom could give two shits less about her. That’s why you and your mom took her in. I don’t know the exact details. But I want to know. Only if she wants to tell me. And you know what, that doesn’t even matter. I want to take care of her. I want more with her if she wants it with me too.”

Since that day, Jon and I hadn’t been the same.

Wren hadn’t caught onto his feelings yet, but I didn’t know how many more times I could dodge her questioning about what had happened between him and I.

As far as I could tell, he hadn’t said anything to her. He’d always bought her things since the beginning. I never said anything about it because she deserved to have the world at her feet. It’s what I’d always wanted to do, but I’d had to work hard to give it to her.

Jon could give her things without breaking a sweat at the checkout line. He never had to worry about his card declining and the embarrassment that came with it.

But Wren didn’t care about that stuff. She was just happy to be living outside the hell that was those people.

She gave me a different outlook on life, a grateful one.Wren had taught me to appreciate the little things. The things that were in my control. She never wanted for more than what she had.

Food, water, freedom to go outside and do what we wanted. The days we spent inside reading during a downpour. Those were the things she truly enjoyed.

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