Page 3 of Silk and Steel

“Come on, baby, you know how I get all worked up sometimes. I didn’t mean it.”

“Didn’t mean what? Threatening to kill my parents, or actually killing Dodger?”

“I didn’t mean to kill the dog, it attacked me.”

My teeth grit hard, and anger boils out of my mouth when I speak.

“He was a chihuahua! You were never in any danger! You’re just an evil asshole who can’t control his temper.”

I hear him take a deep, quick breath.

“Emory,” he says in a tone utterly frozen over. “You are just confused. You don’t know what’s best for you, or what you really want. You never have. Without me, you’re nothing.”

Tears run down my cheeks, but when I speak, it’s with defiance.

“No, Julian. I’m not nothing. I have a career. I have my own house. But most of all, I have self-respect, because you’re not around any more to destroy it.”

“Emory…” I can hear him crying on the other end. Instead of evoking sympathy, it makes me even more afraid.

Julian’s crying fits often preceded a violent tantrum, many of which I got caught up in when we were together.

“Stop it, Julian. Just move on. If you’d move on and attend therapy like they want you to, you could get your sentence reduced and get out sooner.”

“Oh fuck off with that! I don’t need therapy! YOU need therapy! You’re the one who’s crazy, not me. If you hadn’t found that feminazi judge and that feminazi prosecutor, I wouldn’t have been convicted at all. I never did anything wrong.”

I grip the phone receiver so tight the plastic creaks.

“Julian, you hit me so hard you split the roof of my mouth open. There was never any way you weren’t going to go down for that, no matter who the judge was. I had to have surgery.”

“I know, I know, I said I was sorry, didn’t I? Like you never lost your temper and did something stupid. What about the time you threw my phone out the window?”

“Are you kidding me?” I explode. “YOU threw that phone at ME! I ducked and it went out the window…”

I rub a hand down my face and laugh, but I don’t think any of this is funny. My laughter has a hysterical edge to it.

“Why am I arguing with you? You’re so out of touch with reality, I might as well stop wasting my breath. Goodbye, Julian. Don’t call me again, I mean it.”

“Don’t you dare hang up on me, you fucking bit–”

I slam the receiver down so hard it cracks. Then I pick it up and slam it a few more times for good measure.

Jenny peers around the corner, her face a mask of embarrassed sympathy.

“How much did you hear?” I ask with a sigh.

“Nothing…”

She closes her eyes and groans. “No, that’s not true. I heard pretty much everything. Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” I say, struggling to sound like I mean it. “As far as unpleasant encounters with my ex go, this one was relatively painless. At least, on a physical level.”

Jenny rushes over and hugs me. I lean away from her at first, but eventually I put one arm around her and pat her back awkwardly. I know she’s trying to comfort me, but ever since Julian, I have issues with being so close to another person. Even when I know they aren’t going to hurt me.

“Let’s go get lunch,” Jenny says. I’m buying.”

“Yes to lunch, but I’ll cover it.”

“No way, I insist. You deserve something nice after…that.”

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