Page 11 of Rejected Wolf

Luckily, my blubbering was lost under another rumble of thunder; that way, I could pretend I wasn’t as pathetic.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” I soothed myself, even as my teeth began to chatter. “It’s not as bad as you think. Just take out your phone and use the compass app. It even works when there’s no signal. You know the road is east, so just walk east. Easy peasy.”

I crouched over, creating a little tent with my rain jacket so I could take the phone out of the waterproof pocket. “Okay, I’ll just power it up and… any second now…”

Yes, in theory, the compass app worked with no signal. It did not, however, work with no battery.

Panic, frustration, the months of building anxiety, it all piled on top of each other, threatening to break me. I felt like I was adrift at sea, the current drawing me farther and farther from shore. I wanted to stomp my feet, wave my fists, tear at my hair, and scream and cry, but instead, I tipped my head back to the heavens and let loose a longhowl, channeling my inner wolf. The howl might’ve lasted hours or mere seconds. All I knew was that when I was done, I felt… better. Centered. Balanced. A little more at peace.

“Huh. I should do that more often.”

With a clearer head, I closed my eyes and tried tofeelwhat direction my wolf was in. It was a total stab in the dark, but I figured it was no more crazy than being out here in the first place. I slowed my breathing and ignored the chaos of the storm raging all around me. I reached inward for that chasm, the missing piece of my soul and felt… a tug. It was faint, but I swore it was there.

Rubbing at my sternum, I turned toward it and began to walk.

The trees grew close, branches snagging and catching on my clothes as though they were trying to hold me back, but I refused to stop now. I’d come so far, and I couldn’t just quit and let this all be for nothing!

I heard the stream before I saw it, and I felt relief and hope that I was back on track. Until… I broke through the trees and my smile collapsed in on itself, shoulders sagging. This wasn’t the stream I remembered—or at least, not anymore. The storm had turned what was once a babbling brook into a rushing river. The water level was so high that it threatened to spill over itsbanks.

“But… he’s over there.” I stared longingly at the other side of the river, the insistent jerk in my chest telling me that was where I needed to go.

I stared down at my soaking clothes, then at the water rushing past. I couldn’t get any wetter… so what was the harm in wading across? It couldn’t have been deeper than my waist and was only a few yards to the bank on the other side. I was so close, I almost could’ve jumped across.

With stiff fingers, I made sure my bag was secure on my back, my boots were tied tight, then took off my glasses and zipped them up in a jacket pocket. Was I really doing this?

Wary of the slick bank, the soil soft under my boots, I crouched down and carefully stepped into the water. It came up to my shin, the water rushing into my boots and wicking up my pantleg. It was so much colder than I’d prepared for, and words like “hypothermia” and “shock” flitted through my head. Somehow, though, I still felt like this was my best option.

“Okay… you got this. It’s just a little water. Go find your wolfman,” I muttered to myself as the world’s worst pep talk. Because with each step I took, it became clear that this wasn’t just “a little water.” It was, in fact, a LOT of water. It crept up past my knee as I moved away from the bank. As it inched up my thighs, the current pushed me off course,forcing me to stumble a step, but I kept my feet under me. My heart was racing, and I kept my eyes on the far bank.

He was so… close…

As I approached the middle of the river, I took a step, and suddenly, where the ground was supposed to be, there was just—nothing. With a lurch, I plunged forward, and the water jumped up to my chin and past my lips before I managed to find the bottom. I spat out a mouthful of icy water, coughing, my heart racing, adrenaline flooding my veins. My stance stabilized, even as the current did its best to lift me up and wash me away. Luckily, the heavy pack helped keep me anchored.

“That was close,” I said shakily, a manic giggle slipping out.

It seemed I’d spoken too soon, because the very next step, I was gone.

I barely managed to grab a breath of air before the water closed over my head. I kept my eyes open, but everything was dark. I couldn’t tell which way was up. Flailing my arms, I reached out for something,anything, to grab onto. Now the pack that had kept me anchored was dragging me down. My fingers skimmed the muddy bottom, then rocks, my nails tearing as I lost my hold. It was like what I imagined a pinball would feel, bouncing and ricocheting off rocks, fallen logs, and other debris.

My lungs burned like I’d inhaled fire. I needed air!Don’t you dare breathe, you keep your lips closed!The pack, it was too heavy. I needed to get this backpack offnow!

With numb fingers, I fumbled with the plastic buckle across my chest, all while it felt like I was being put through the spin cycle on my washing machine. When it finally opened, I almost gasped in shock and relief—thank gods I didn’t—and jerked my arms until the straps slid over my shoulders and the pack sank away. And while I couldn’t tell which way was up, I could still feel that same feeling inside me, like my own personal compass, and I kicked clumsily toward it.

Out of nowhere, the current slammed my back straight into a rock, and bubbles erupted around me as the last of my air was forced out with a muffledoof. Stars burst at the edges of my vision.Air! I need air!I pushed off the rock and came bursting out from the surface with a ragged gasp. Almost immediately, I was plunged back under the water, and I swallowed a cold mouthful.

This is it, I thought.This is where I die. I would’ve liked to at least learn his name…

I felt the hood of my jacket snag on something, maybe a branch overhanging the river, but it stopped my momentum, the nylon hooking me under the chin and forcing me back to the air.

Coughing and sputtering, I managed to direct myself over to the bank, where I rolled, crawled, and finally collapsed in the mud and grass. The rain was still coming down hard, so I turned my face to the ground for a few breaths of precious oxygen. My core clenched, and I vomited up the water that had been in my stomach, but I was beyond caring right now. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t feel my extremities or that I had zero clue where the hell I’d washed up. All I knew was that I was alive.

There was a tug on the hood of my jacket, and I remembered that it had caught on a branch or root. It was total luck that I hadn’t been washed away and drowned. The chances of that tree being in just the right—

But the tug came again, more insistent, and this time, it was paired with a whine. What the fuck?

I couldn’t manage more than to loll my head to the side, and there beside me, with my jacket in its mouth, was my wolf.

Logically speaking, it could’ve been any wolf, but I knew it was mine. He stared down at me with intense green eyes then let go of my jacket and laid down on his belly in order to wiggle closer. He nudged at my cheek with his nose, licked me once, then when I didn’t push him away, he nuzzled at my neck, sniffing. His dark fur was drippingwith rain, but when I dug my fingers into the fur around his neck, it was warm and dry beneath the upper layer.

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