Page 18 of Revelations

“I’ve been seein’ Wade since my junior year of high school. Yes, we want to share a woman when we find her, but we’ve also been together for years now. He wants to tell our family about us, but I know not everyone is gonna accept us bein’ together,” I answer Caleb honestly, my heart beating fast and hard in my chest as I wait for his response to this information.

This is the first person I’m telling about us and I’m on the verge of a panic attack while Caleb processes the information.

“Okay. So who do you feel won’t accept the two of you bein’ together?” is Caleb’s only response as he stops walking and looks at me.

“Mom. Dad. Grandpa. I’m pretty sure Grandma won’t bat an eye about this news. I can’t be sure, but I think she’ll be the first out of all of them to accept us. It’s honestly Dad and Grandpa I worry the most about. I’ve looked up to them my entire life and this is the last thing they’d expect to hear from me. Plus, Killer. He’s been my mentor for years and I know this will come as a shock to him. I’m not even sure how you feel about it,” I answer my brother as I drop down into the grass next to where he remains standing and bury my head in my hands.

Caleb crouches down and pulls me into his arms as everything I’ve been feeling regarding Wade and me explodes and I have no choice but to let it out. Tears I haven’t shed in years fall from my eyes and soak Caleb’s shirt below me as he holds me tighter. My body is shaking and I feel light headed as I just cry like I’m a toddler and got hurt while riding my bike or something instead of a twenty-one year old guy who’s the Enforcer of a motorcycle club.

“I got you, Dylan. And as for how I feel about the situation, you can’t help who you fuckin’ love. If you and Wade are together and want to bring in a woman to be with the two of you, make sure she fuckin’ knows what she’s gettin’ and don’t hide that shit from her for a second. It makes sense that the two of you are together if you want my honest opinion. You’ve always been closer than normal and everyone could sense a change in things shortly after you turned eighteen.

“When it comes to Dad, Grandpa, and everyone else, you’re not gonna have a problem with them. They’ll accept your relationship with Wade more than anyone else. They’re not gonna judge you or be disappointed or upset. Everyone in this club was raised not to judge others around them. We all know that love is love and it doesn’t fuckin’ matter what that looks like. If you and Wade want to be together, then fuckin’ be together without a woman in the mix if you don’t want one. Dylan, you need to come clean,” Caleb tells me, not letting me go as I try to stop the tears from falling.

“It’s too late, Caleb. Wade hates me and doesn’t want anythin’ to do with me. He’s been tryin’ to get me to tell everyone. Says I make him feel like a dirty little secret. I get why he feels that way and don’t blame him at all. The last time we talked, he told me he can’t live this way anymore and moved out of the house. That’s why he’s been stayin’ at the clubhouse andonly shows up once he’s done with work and has had his shower so I can go to bed. The only time we talk is when we let one another know what’s happened while we were with Genesis and Matie.

“Both of us want Genesis. I’m fallin’ for her more every day we spend together. And takin’ care of Matie has made me realize that I want him in my life. I want them both in my life. I want to have kids of my own with Genesis. For Wade to have kids with her too. But, if it makes him happy, I’ll step back and leave them both alone to build their relationship together and watch them from afar,” I tell Caleb, pulling back from him as we sit in the grass and just look out at nothing in front of us.

“You’ll get him back, Dylan. Once you talk to our family and let everyone else know what’s goin’ on, you’ll have Wade back in your life. Don’t step back from Genesis if you want her too. I can see the three of you buildin’ a life together and makin’ it work. You’re too stubborn to let it fail. I might not know Genesis, but she must be pretty fuckin’ amazin’ if she caught your eye and Wade’s. Do right by both of them and you’ll see that you can have it all. You’ve got maybe a few days before everyone shows up. Prepare yourself and make it so it’s just our family and maybe Wade’s first. Then you can let everyone else know. Don’t be surprised if Aunt Maddie and Uncle Tank show up with them. Have Tank there because you know he’s the one who gets through to everyone,” Caleb states, his voice distant as he keeps his eyes forward.

After a while of sitting in the grass, Caleb and I make our way back to the house. For the first time in years, I feel lighter than ever before. Telling my big brother what’s going on made me realize that Wade’s been right about things this entire time. I’ve been too stubborn and lost in my own head about us to seethe validity of his words. Now, I just have to figure out how I’m gonna tell our family members when they get to Pine View.

The rest of the day, I spend with Caleb and Genesis. The two of them click immediately and for the first time, Genesis is completely open with another person. She doesn’t hold back when she talks to my brother and I learn so much about the woman making me fall for her even more. Sitting back and watching her be so candid is a sight I want to see on a daily basis. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen. Now, I just have to talk to Wade and get him back on board with this relationship.

Chapter Thirteen

Genesis

OPENING UP TO Caleb, Devil’s brother, is like lifting a heavy weight off of my shoulders. The day I met him, I felt as if I were finding a long lost friend and any hesitation and lack of trust I normally feel with other people disappeared. We talked late into the night and I went to bed shortly before Devil got home from work. Wade liked talking to him and whenever I spoke about anything, he paid close attention to every word coming out of my mouth. It’s a heady feeling to have two people, men at that, listen to you so intently. For the first time in my life, I didn’t second guess everything I said. I’m not that way with anyone. Including Morgan who knows me the best out of everyone involved with the Phantom Bastards MC. Knowing that I can open up around Wade and Dylan means I’ll have to start opening up to her and Hope. They’re the two who spend the most time with me and I feel horrible because I haven’t opened up so far with them.

Dylan and Wade both offered for Caleb to stay at the house with us. He refused, saying he wants to catch up with everyone so staying in the clubhouse will be better for that. When he needs to get away because everything is overwhelming him, that’s when he either shows up to visit with us here or goes to Jinx and Hope’s house so he’s spending time with his other brother as well. Matie loves it when Caleb shows up. Caleb isthe fun, playful uncle I always hoped Matie would have in his life. It’s so fun to watch them interact and hear Caleb plan for the future. I don’t think that’s something he’s done a lot and now that he’s no longer in the military, he’s starting to plan and dream once more.

Vault also talked to me and I really don’t have to worry about having a job at Enchantment once Doc clears me to return to work. I won’t be going back as a waitress though. Dylan and Vault want me to work just under Dylan. I’ll fill in wherever I’m needed on the floor, help Dylan with paperwork and scheduling, and will no longer wait tables. To make up for the fact that I’m no longer gonna be making all of the tips I’ve been counting on, I got a significant raise for the position I’ll be going back to. I’ll also have the power to fire and hire people. Vault told me that the first time someone doesn’t listen to me, I’m not to take their shit. Instead, they’re done. No one gets a second chance if they can’t respect my position in the club and listen to me when I ask them to do something.

At first, I was skeptical of the new position. When Vault explained that Dylan talked to him about it days before Ricky attacked me, I felt a little better about the situation. He told me that Dylan doesn’t want me on the floor for entire shifts any longer and if I have questions about why, I’ll have to go to the man in question. In fact, the night Ricky attacked me, Vault was supposed to show up and talk to me about the new role they wanted me to have in Enchantment. We all know what happened so it’s taken them this long to talk to me about it because they all wanted me to have time to heal. No, I’m not completely healed, but I’ll be able to possibly get released to go back to work a little early if Doc knows I won’t be waitressing any longer. I don’t think that will make a difference to him, but we’ll see what happens.

Honestly, I feel better. My ribs still bother me when I twist or move certain ways so I’m very careful with my movements while I’m awake. It’s my arm and shoulder that are still giving me the most problems. Doc still has me wearing the sling to limit my movements and so it’s elevated to a certain extent. I can’t even tell you the last time I’ve taken a pain pill. Within days I was limiting myself and now it’s only when my shoulder hurts me and gets worse that I give in and take pain medicine. First, I always try to take something that’s over the counter and I know won’t make me sleep the way I was the first few days after the attack.

What I’ve truly enjoyed the most over the last few days is getting to spend time with Dylan and Wade one on one. Yes, I know why they aren’t hanging out and about the huge rift between the two of them. It breaks my heart to know these two are barely talking. Dylan is the only one who can fix the situation though. Until he steps up and talks to his family, both here and in Benton Falls, Wade isn’t going to let him back in his life. Both men are broken hearted and look at one another with pure longing and pain when the other isn’t looking. I want to do something to fix the problem, but it’s up to them and no one else.

I’ve learned that both men are extremely protective and will do anything to ensure Matie and I are safe. Dylan takes it a little more serious than Wade does, but I think that’s just because he’s the Enforcer of the club and it’s literally his responsibility to protect Vault when they’re out on a run and everyone else when he’s home. Dylan prefers to sit back and watch everyone around him while Wade likes to be right there in the middle of whatever conversation is going on. With every new thing I learn about each man, the crush I’ve developed on them gets worse. I’m trying my hardest not to let it show, but Morgan, Hope, and Caleb have all caught on to how I feel. Thosewere some hard conversations to have while not letting the guys overhear us.

Being able to walk around the house and sit in the living room or outside on the porch has made me extremely happy. I’m not stuck in the bedroom all alone unless Morgan or Hope come up to see me. A few times others from the club have made an appearance, but I know everyone’s busy as hell and have a ton of stuff to do. Besides, I’m just an employee of the Phantom Bastards and I really don’t expect anyone to come spend time with me just because I’m here. Plus, it only makes me see what I don’t have in my life and how truly alone I am in the world. Everyone here on the compound is surrounded by a ton of people. They know without a doubt that if they have a problem, someone will be there to talk to, help, or do whatever they need. Once I’m completely healed and don’t need help with Matie any longer, I’ll be all alone in the world once again.

I’ve already started looking for a new apartment. With what I have saved and the raise I’m getting, I’ll be able to afford a better place for Matie and I to live. Dylan and Wade told me they weren’t gonna kick me out immediately and that I’d be able to stay here as long as I need to. I’ve never been the person to take advantage of a situation and I’m sure as fuck not going to start now. Once I find a place and can take care of Matie, I’ll be out of the way so Wade and Dylan can start repairing the damage done to their friendship and relationship.

Today has dragged on slower than any other day I’ve had since the attack from Ricky and his men. I’m used to doing things around the apartment and taking care of Matie when I’m not at work. With only one arm I can use, I’m only allowed to do the bare minimum. The guys don’t absolutely lose their mind if Iget a drink or something small to eat. It’s only when I try to clean something or rinse the dishes off to load in the dishwasher that Wade and Dylan lose their minds. Morgan also loses her mind when she catches me trying to do anything around the house. I honestly feel worse not being able to help everyone because I feel as if I’m taking advantage of Wade and Dylan. They clean, cook, take care of Matie, and everything else that has to be done on a daily basis. It gives me nothing but time to sit and think about all the shit going on in my life and trying to figure out how to change it.

So far, the only way I’ve thought of to get away from all the bullshit is to leave Pine View. I might not have much of a life here, but I do have one. If I’m going to get away from Ricky and stay safe from anyone finding out the truth about why I have Matie with me, it might be my only option moving forward. Now that I’ve finally decided to let people in and share my life with them, this is what it comes down to. I’ll leave and start all over again somewhere new. Without people around who don’t force me to open up on a personal level and who are content to wait until I’m ready to take that step on my own.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Caleb says, startling me as he steps up on the porch and takes the rocking chair next to me.

“My head is kind of all over the place today,” I tell him honestly, grabbing my bottle of water and taking a sip of it before turning to face Caleb.

I think what I like most about Caleb is that he’s content to sit and not talk about anything as much as he’s happy to talk about anything under the sun. He’s not a forceful presence but just sits there and offers silence and companionship when that’s what’s needed in a situation. Today, I kind of want to talk to him about things.

“I don’t know how much the guys have filled you in or what you’ve put together from the few conversations we’ve had so far,” I begin, adjusting my arm so it’s in a slightly more comfortable position. “Matie isn’t my son. My foster sister, Melinda, is his mom and she dropped him off to me almost seven months ago. She was beaten to hell by her boyfriend and couldn’t be on the run with a baby. It’s about the least selfish thing she’s ever done in her entire life. Anyway, I’ve been raising Matie as my son and everything I do is for him. I work at the strip club as a waitress and make a killing on tips. It’s the only reason I’m still there if I’m being honest.

“Anyway, a few weeks ago, Matie’s dad showed up demanding to know where Melinda is. He really didn’t ask about Matie other than referring to him as his possession without saying the words. It’s the only reason he wants either one of them back. When I told him I didn’t know where Melinda is, he had his two assholes beat the shit out of me while he watched and screamed at me. The last thing he did is kick me in the ribs. I know he’s gonna keep coming for me until he gets the answers he wants. I mean, it doesn’t help that I taunt him because he’s a piece of shit. The beating was my fault because I insulted him. But, today I’ve gotten so lost in my head about what to do with the situation. The only way I can protect Matie is if I leave Pine View and move somewhere no one knows me or what’s gone on in my life,” I say, purging all sorts of information at one time for Caleb.

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