Page 37 of Acts of Contrition

“Laser hair removal. Permanent,” I reply, and that is all I will say. I look at Catherine. “I look … okay?”

“Adorable.”

“You need a belt!” Lisa declares, and goes to find me one. So far, it seems like her attitude is just … Lisa. Maybe she doesn’t dislike me.

Why does her liking you matter? You’re gonna escape at the first opportunity, right?

I don’t answer my conscience. I can’t.

“I’ve never spent so much money in one day before,” I comment, putting my sunglasses back on as we exit the store. I want to ask how the church has this sort of money, since it seems like no one works. Donations? Is it possible? It seems so small, though. Unless the patrons who don’t actually belong to the cult are all filthy rich.

“Please. This is a normal Tuesday for me,” Lisa comments. “Do you drink coffee?”

I nod. “We aren’t allowed it at the um…” I let the question trail off before I call it a cult.

“Compound,” Catherine supplies. “And no, no stimulants. But while I don’t drink it, you are allowed while you’re out. I know Lisa and Thomas escape here for caffeine often.” She smiles at Lisa indulgently.

I give Lisa my order and she promises to bring us pastries as well. So she goes inside the café and Catherine and I sit at anoutside table. The fresh air feels alien on my skin after all this time. Closing my eyes, I lean back and breathe deeply.

“God and Thomas really did make an excellent choice with you,” Catherine says softly. “I see so much of myself in you. Except … you are much stronger than I ever was.”

I glance at her. “How do you mean?”

“I can tell you went through things not of your choosing. Whereas, I chose drugs. I put myself in that situation and Father Oliver still saw fit to save me. You … you had no choice, did you?”

I shake my head, willing the tears not to come. The flashbacks. The fear. Why did Thomas not scare me when he hurt me? When he punished me? Yet a simple memory is enough to send me into a tailspin.

“Can you—”

“Lisa is taking awfully long, isn’t she?” I interrupt. I can't go down that road in public. No way.

Catherine sighs and checks her phone. “Oh, actually, she is. Come with me and we can check on her.”

I go to say I can wait and watch the bags when I remember I’m not allowed to be alone. For a minute, I forgot I’m still a prisoner. Just one in designer clothes.

We gather the bags and head into the café, which isn’t overly crowded.

“There’s been a man who keeps acting oddly towards her whenever she and Thomas head into town. I hope he’s not bothering her,” Catherine says. “Oh dear…”

I look in the direction she is and I’ve never been more thankful to have only had a banana smoothie for breakfast or else it all would’ve made a spectacular reappearance at the sight I now witness.

Lisa, carrying a tray of drinks and a bag, stands ramrod straight, trying to avoid eye contact with the man speaking to her. Now, Lisa has struck me as a strong, confident womanwho fears nothing. Someone I wish I could be. Right now, she reminds me of a scared deer.

And I don’t blame her.

I am an hour outside of the city. Free from the motherfucker for a year already. Yet … he’s here. Apparently been here? Still just as fat and disgusting and fake charming as ever, except Lisa isn’t buying into Mike’s game. She clearly sees he’s a creep. If only she knew how much of one.

“No. No, no…”

Catherine turns towards me. “Diana?”

Lisa spots us, relief coming to her face, and as Mike goes to turn and see what she is looking at, I do the only thing my body will let me: I get the fuck out of there.

Chapter Sixteen

Diana

I MAY BE stronger but I still haven’t run for a long time, and I get out of breath by the time I round the building, so I hunker down, not seeing, not thinking, filled with pure fear.

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