Page 5 of Rhubarb 2 Go

“Huh?”How had me wanting to touch Burke’s balls gone to being mates?“What?How?”My little rhubarb heart did a mad flutter, the same way it did when Burke had wanted to sniff me.

“Ricky, when have you ever become ‘obsessed’, your words, by someone’s balls?It’s just like Twirlie.He got obsessed the minute he met Maximus.You got rhubarbed by the Great Rhu.”

“I did…” Feeling faint, I swayed right into Red’s body and would have hit the pavement if not for him grabbing me under one arm.

“That pride must be having a free for all on mating passes.Maybe they’ll have one for Glass and change his grumpy ass into a stalk of rhubarb sunshine.”Red laughed hard enough it felt like he was trying to whisk me up in a bowl.

Everyone in town knew his older alpha brother for his grumpiness.I was positive not even a lion as pretty as Apollo could make Glass less grumpy.

I shook off the thought when Red didn’t stop laughing, standing on my own two feet because no one liked to be whisked into a rhubarb custard pudding.“Can we get back to me,” I huffed in frustration as my brain and Burke’s ball saga pieced together.I had… a mate with enormous balls!

I’d won the ball lottery!

“Why are you grinning at me like that?It’s kind of creepy with all your teeth on show.”Red eyed me, finally having stopped his merriment at thoughts of Glass finding a mate.

“Burke’s my mate.”

“I thought we’d established that?”

The grin wasn’t wanting to leave my face, even at Red’s sarcastic comment.Nothing was going to dull my rhubarb shine.“I need to go and see him right now.”

Red grabbed my arm, a frown appearing, making his forehead look like tilled earth.“What are you planning on doing?"

“What do you mean ‘planning’?I’m gonna go and announce we’re mates and then get”—blushing harder than a rhubarb caught with his stalk out—“a hold of those balls,” I murmured, my palms tingling better than when I slid down my pole.

“No, you can’t do that,” he exclaimed.“Haven’t you seen any of those romancing movies?Even Twirlie romanced his mate.”

“He sang to him through their mate connection.You’ve heard me, I can’t sing for rhubarb!And I haven’t heard Burke in my head.”I shuddered.“Oh… maybe you’re wrong.”

I wilted at the thought.

“You’re mates.I’ve known you your whole life.An interest—obsession about balls proves it to me.I’d bet my last parcel of rhubarb on it.”He sighed loudly when I gave him a skeptical look.“Maybe try concentrating real hard.”

My eyes crossed as I tried.Nope… just me in there!“It’s not workin’!”

“Don’t stress.Crimson, remember, she explained, mating for us is different.Not one rhubarb is the same as another.”

My smile was back.“That’s right.”Then it fell right off my face.“How am I supposed to win my mate's heart when I don’t know how to romance anyone?”

“Who is the finest pole dancer in the world?”

I eyed him.“Me?”I would not play down the fact that I was a fantastic pole dancer… when I wasn’t thinking about a certain bull’s balls.

“Yep.Dance your way into his…” he coughed, “balls!”

I could do that… I think?

Chapter Four

Burke

The trouble with me is, I overthink everything.Like everything.Bovines were supposed to be simple creatures.Even the shifters.I’d missed that memo.Which was why I was in the middle of a meltdown over a rhubarb stalk.

I had made an idiot of myself in front of Apollo.I knew that.What bull wanted to be wooed like a sweet cow?I needed to learn to keep my mouth shut in future.But, strangely, he didn’t give me grief for it.He just patted my back until I told him to get off me and I headed for the door.Then I turned back, hugged Apollo without a word for being so kind, and left the kitchen.I’d never been in a herd like this one.

Now I needed to do something physical, and that did not mean making an idiot of myself on the pole.I sighed and grumbled about my misfortune.I needed lessons from an expert before I tried to show Ricky what I could do.

I’d promised Maximus I’d dig out another bed for vegetables as Tim had co-opted the first bed.Who knew rhubarb shifters slept and ate in the soil?I wasn’t the only vegan in the pride.The lions were carnivores, of course, but most of us were vegan.Yeah, we could have just eaten grass.One advantage of our house was that, out the back, there were acres of fresh green grass and Drew, Randy, Gordon, and I spent a lot of time out there, chewing the cud.Who needed a mower when we had four herbivores in the herd?But we were humans too and loved our food.It was great using mealtimes to connect around the table as a pride.

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