Page 10 of Christmas in Paradise

Honestly, probably not.

Hope left me with something that I’ve never felt with any other woman I’ve dated—and I’ve dateda lotof women—hope.

Hope left me with lowercase hope.

And, trust me, I know how cheesy that sounds. But it’s true. The first night I dropped her back off at Evie’s, I knew I didn’t want to spend time with anyone else that summer. One week in to seeing her every day, I started to question my commitment to bachelorhood. The thought of forever even crossed my mind once or twice.

And forever is a long time.

If you’re lucky.

Carson, whose love for the nineties grunge of his youth cannot be broken, plays the first chords ofCome as You Are.Bear follows his cue, coming in on drums, while I plug in and join with the bass part. Adam is still in the kitchen, so we don’t have anyone on vocals until suddenly Zach, who’s just walked in, is caterwauling, “and I don’t have a gun,” at the top of his lungs.

He rushes to the stage and takes the mic. We all keep playing, but not without wincing. I spot Georgia, standing by Evie near the kitchen and send her a pleading look. She shrugs her shoulders and returns my look with an apologetic one of her own.

My eyes dart to Adam who’s our last, best hope, but he doesn’t meet my gaze. His jaw is clenched and he’s rushing to finish the burgers he’s cooking for us.

Britta comes to our rescue and unplugs Zach’s mic. Bear’s drums go quiet, but not his laugh.

Zach stops and glares at his sister. “Et tu, Britta?”

I stop and stare at Zach. “Are you trying to speak Italian?”

“It’s Shakespeare, or something.” Bear answers.

“Julius Caesar,” Adam calls from the kitchen. “Which is what you should stick to, bro. Being anac-tor!” With a theatrical flourish, he throws his hand into the air.

Ever since Zach became the co-host of Georgia’s home reno show,At Home with Georgia Rose,Adam has teased him nonstop about being anac-tor!,said with the same flourish every time. Which is out of character for Adam, who never makes jokes, but now that he’s found one he likes, he’s as committed to it as he is to Evie.

“You’re all uninvited from my beach house in Malibu.” Zach steps off the stage and walks to Georgia. “Right, babe?”

She shakes her head. “Probably not since we don’t have one of those, and I like all these people.” Rising on tiptoe, she cups his face in her hands. “But I like you best of all, even if you can’t sing.”

Georgia kisses Zach who lifts her high enough for her feet to dangle inches from the ground. She’s not wearing the heels she usually has on, but her boots are still high, and she has her purse full of tools.

As happy as I am for the two of them and their approaching double wedding with Adam and Evie, my gut twists with a strange sensation. It feels like jealousy, but why would I be jealous of my cousins getting married when that’s never been something I wanted for myself? And why can’t I stop thinking about Hope when I see them, or anyone else, all coupled up?

I catch Carson’s eye, and we both shake our heads.

“Are we gonna practice or what?” Bear gently taps his stick on his snare drum. “I’ve got things to do besides watch you all make out.”

I nod in agreement.

“Little brother, if you think this is making out, you arenotgetting enough action,” Zach says.

Adam almost laughs and pretend high fives Zach from the kitchen.

Georgia puts at least a foot between her and Zach, then gives him a stern look. “Don’t be a bro.”

Evie purses her lips and gives Adam the same look. Adam and Zach hang their heads, but as soon as Evie and Georgia look away, my cousins smile at each other.

“So are we playing?” Carson asks.

“Eat first.” Adam sends plates of burgers and fries and one salad across the pass-through window.

Evie carries the plates to the tables pushed together to fit all of us. This is where we like to eat when Adam cooks for us. Zach and Georgia help Evie serve the food. Bear nearly knocks over his drum kit rushing from the stage to the table. Carson and I are the last to sit down.

Then the conversation starts. We’re all family—even Carson who doesn’t actually share our DNA—so we talk over each other while we’re stuffing our faces in the comfortably impolite way that families do. Our talk centers around trying to figure out how to get in the practice we need to for the Jingle Ball while Adam and Evie are also getting ready for their wedding.

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