Page 91 of (Not So) Famous in Paradise

Amber appears out of a back room with her toolbox and leads me to the corner with her chair under a bright light. While she “fixes” me, Ike preps everyone else. “Nick, close up shots. Stella, make sure you get video to post later today.”

Even if I hadn’t seen Zach’s script, Ike’s directions would have given away that this is the kiss scene. With Amber patting down my entire face with sponges and brushes, I can’t turn my head. But I feel Zach’s eyes on me.

He has to be thinking about what we just shared. I know I am, but I wish I wasn’t. Our on-camera kiss won’t be anything like what happened in the trailer, but I need to process everything that’s happened since then. I’m not ready to be vulnerable like that again.

Amber finishes my makeup and hands me a mirror. I turn my head side to side. My freckles show—she’s gone lighter on the foundation. She’s also added just enough eye shadow and contouring to make my eyes look greener than usual. My red lipstick makes my whole face pop. Zach’s right—I don’t need all the other makeup to be Georgia.

I hand the mirror back to Amber and push myself out of the chair. Zach is in his spot behind the newly installed kitchen counter looking at paint swatches and fabric. He looks at me then lets his gaze travel to my feet. As soon as he sees the heels I’m wearing, he shakes his head. But there’s a laugh behind it.

A laugh like I didn’t just say some really thoughtless things fifteen minutes ago.

“Action!” Ike calls and Stella snaps the clapboard.

Then I do my part and walk toward Zach. “What have you got there?” I ask, then lean in for a closer look. This is where we’re supposed to kiss.

His arm brushes mine, but I shift away. It’s not a conscious move. It just happens. I can let go of my worry about permits, but I can’t let go of all my fears around any future with Zach.

“Cut!” Ike calls. “Try it again, but stay close.”

We do what Ike asks. This time I don’t move but Zach does. He’s picked up on my hesitation. Ike cuts again. Nick reshoots, but this time Zach and I are both stiff and awkward, unsure of ourselves.

After half a dozen tries, Ike doesn’t call cut before Zach is supposed to move in for our kiss. We get all the way to Zach tucking a curl behind my ear—he remembered!—but then we both stop short of actual lip contact.

“Cut!” Ike yells, followed by a loud sigh. “Why’d you stop? We had it.” He doesn’t wait for an answer, just rolls his finger in the air to signal Nick to start recording.

We try again, but Zach doesn’t do the hair tuck. He doesn’t need to, now that I “know” the kiss is coming. But I miss his fingers brushing my face.

“Cut!” Ike calls, this time when we’re within millimeters of following through. “What happened to the hair tuck? Do that again. And try to make it look natural. Make us think you want to kiss each other.”

I can’t even look at Zach after Ike says that.AllI want to do is kiss Zach.AllI can think about is the make-out session we had today and how much I’d like a repeat of that.

But on the next shot, when we actually do kiss, it’s nothing like before. We’re both too careful, too quick. Too passionless.

I don’t know Zach’s reasons for holding back—I can guess—but my own reasons have nothing to do with desire and everything to do with fear. If I let myself enjoy him too much, I’ll never recover from losing him. And that’s the only way this can end.

I can’t pretend we’re perfect for each other. I’m not a woman who needs to be taken care of. I’m strong and independent, but also stubborn. I don’t ask for help, and I don’t like to receive it. It makes me feel weak and way too vulnerable.

But being needed is what makes Zach tick. That’s why he’s attracted to the Carly’s of the world.

Whoever the next “Carly” is, she’ll let him take care of her. That’s what makes him happy.

We try the kiss a few more times, but each failed attempt only makes Ike more irritated and me sadder. Finally, he tells us to take five and walks outside. Nick puts down his camera and stretches, and Gracyn sets down the mic and scrolls through her phone. Amber searches through her makeup box for something, and Teri is probably back in the trailer writing a new kissing scene. This one obviously isn’t working.

“Georgia.” Zach pushes up from the leaning-on-the-counter position we’ve been in way too long.

“What?” I try not to look him directly in the eye, but he tucks his chin and forces me to meet his gaze.

“I can fix this permit thing.” His hand slips around my waist. “Quit worrying.” He nudges me closer, and a smile slips across his lips. “And I really want to kiss you again.”

I inch closer. Our chests press together, and he leans close. I’m so ready for the warmth of his mouth on mine, and I want to give in.

But I don’t.

I put space between us—a safe distance from his beautiful, full lips. “But I don’t need you to fix it. I’m not the kind of woman who needs to be rescued. I’m too independent to be taken care of.”

“I know. I love that about you.” Zach moves closer, but with my hand on his chest I stop him.

And, dammit. Why do his pecs have to be so defined? I can feel them through his shirt.

---