“I thought you might need a hug.” Evie opens her arms.
“How did you know?” I stand and sink into her hug.
Britta wraps her arms around both of us. “I texted her as soon as Zach started talking his crazy proposal stuff.”
“Adam wanted to come too, but Ike wouldn’t let him leave.”
At Evie’s mention of Adam, my chest pinches tight. I should be congratulating Evie and making bridal shower plans, but instead all I can think about is what I’m about to lose while she’s getting everything I want.
Envy is such an ugly emotion, rearing up when you least expect it, right when someone is handing over a piece of their joy to share with you. Why can’t the piece be enough? Why do I suddenly want what Evie has?
Not Adam, obviously. But to be loved like he loves Evie. To be adored. To hold the promise of happily ever after with my own hands.
“Speaking of Adam,” I say as I pull away. “Have I told you how happy I am for you two?”
“Only about as many times as Britta has hugged me.” Evie starts to sit, but I grab her left hand.
“Let me look at it again.” I examine her ring and let out a long whistle. “I hope you wanted a big diamond, because you got one.”
“I know.” She pulls in her lips, embarrassed, but she can’t hide how giddy she is. And every bit of my envy is blinded into submission with the brightness of her eyes.
We slide across the table from each other, and Britta takes the seat next to her. They both gaze at me, like I’m in the interrogation seat and they’re ready to play nice cop and nicer cop.
“The video last night was sooooo good!” Evie says, but I know from the way her eyes dance that she’s talking about more than myGeorgia Roseaccounts. “You and Zach are amazing together.”
“That’s exactly what I’ve been telling her,” Britta says with enough enthusiasm to outsparkle Evie.
“I don’t think Evie means what you mean.” I look at Evie for confirmation, but she’s looking at Britta.
“You see it too, don’t you?” Evie asks with a conspiratorial smile.
Britta nods. “She just needs to tell him she’s in love with him, right? It’s so obvious they’re meant to be together.”
Evie nods even more emphatically than Britta, but neither can match my headshake.
“It’s been years since we’ve spent any real time with each other. We’re happy to be hanging out again, that’s it.” I willnotbe infected by their excitement. “That’s all you’re seeing between us, probably all I’m feeling, anddefinitelyall Zach is feeling.” I lower my gaze from their pitying looks. “You can doubt me all you want. I know Zach doesn’t have feelings for me. He’s on his way to propose to Carly right now.”
I reach for my purse so I can extricate myself from this very uncomfortable conversation. I’ve only had twenty-four hours to sit with the realization that I’m in love with Zach. I’m not ready to hash it out with anyone else, even my best friend.
“Zach is in love with you.” Evie grabs my hand and tucks her chin to meet my eye. “He just doesn’t know it yet.”
She is so sincere that for a second, I let myself believe she could be right. Then I catch my reflection in the window. It’s not a bad reflection. In fact, it’s one I’ve grown to really like. Maybe even love.
But it’s not the reflection of somebody who Zach would love. It never has been. And the only thing Ineedto do is accept that. So I hitch my purse over my shoulder and slide out of the bench seat.
“Zach loves me, but he isn’tinlove with me. So let’s just let it go. Okay?” I put on a smile, but it hurts to admit I’m not the kind of woman Zach is attracted to. “I’ve got to get back to the set, but I’ll meet you at the Garden tonight?”
“See you then,” Evie says, followed quickly by Britta’s, “I’ll be there. No rest for the weary.”
I walk back to Granny Neilsen’s thinking about how Britta is stretched so thin, consciously ignoring her suggestion I should tell Zach what I’m feeling. I’d rather think about how I can help the Thomsen family than entertain ideas of being part of it someday. Ever since their mom got sick, all four siblings have been filling in all the places she and their dad used to. Heidi Thomsen filled a lot of spaces, and now that Pete is her primary caregiver, there are even more holes to fill.
And it’s not even the summer season yet.
I’m not all the way to the house before I hear music, loud voices, and the sounds of demolition. Adam and his crew are hard at work.
Ike rushes out of the open doorway before I get to the driveway. His face is bright and his step so light that I slow down. Excited Ike means he’s got an idea that usually involves me doing something I don’t really want to do.
“Hey! I’ve been waiting for you. Is Zach around?” He meets me on the walkway to the house, looking over my shoulder like I might be hiding Zach somewhere in the open street behind me.