Page 101 of Dirty Temptation

“Barf,” I say, as my legs shake.

“Well I mean, throwing up on him would be good revenge. How close are you?” she asks, and I turn to see how serious she is.

Her shrug tells mevery.It makes me laugh.

Then I do almost vomit.

“Maybe we should go?” I offer, feeling like a complete loser. I should have got over him by now.

I am over him.

I’m just not over his lies and I want closure so I can understand how he could’ve asked me to marry him when he was already a husband.

To someone else.

I want to understand why he chose me to be the fool to his games. I want to understand if he truly loved me.

Has he done it before?

Was there something about me that saideasy targeton my forehead?

Did he feel sad when we broke up?

Did he feel anything?

I’d told him to get the fuck out of my life, but his complete and utter silence was deafening. I’d expected some kind of apology, or attempt.

Nope.

Just silence.

Leaving me with a million questions and a ton of self-judgment, shame, and complete lack of trust in men. One that hasn’t allowed me to move on.

Or love.

Worse...I can’t let myself be loved.

I probably could’ve let it continue for years without really doing anything about it, but now there’s Atlas.

I know he loves me. I can feel it in every single one of his notes. I can see it in every petal.

My heart aches to go to him.

I smile privately to myself.

I think I love Atlas.

––––––––

“Go, go, go. Here he comes.” Payton nudges me as Steve walks toward us. “Will you be okay?”

“Yes,” I say, shaking.

Payton moves into the shadows, and I step in front of Steve as he heads toward the restrooms.

“What are you doing here?” He grounds out, grabbing my arm.

“I need to speak to you,” I say, trying to tug my arm back.

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