Page 61 of Dirty Temptation

“Being a mom is a huge job. An important one. Just focus on that for now. Who knows, you might have number two soon after.”

“Lord, let me push this one out first.” Payton laughs.

I let our conversation settle into comfortable silence and then ask. “So are you sure about marrying him now?”

“Surer than anything I’ve ever done. I love Knox. I love this baby.” She places her hand on her tummy. “I guess I did just have a little moment of doubt, but it’s gone.”

I’m hit with a dose of envy that almost knocks me over.

I want to cry.

I never got my wedding. In fact, even my engagement party was one big fucking lie. He never wanted that.

I don’t know what he wanted.

Not me.

It’s hard to imagine how I could ever trust a man again. I’m not sure I will.

Even now, on Payton’s behalf, I’m looking for reasons it might not be safe for her. That’s not my job, I know that, but she’s my best friend.

I love her.

I care about her.

If someone had done the same for me, it might have saved me from years of heartache and a whole heap of embarrassment.

“How could he do this?” Mom asked me time and time again.

“We’ll have to send all the gifts back. Did you see the coffee maker from Peterson’s? They spent a lot of money,” Dad said.

It had taken months of returning and apologizing to friends and family. People wanted to understand but I refused to let Mom tell them the truth.

We just told them that the engagement party had made both of us realize the commitment we were making and the reality of it caused the breakup.

A solid reason.

I push away all my emotions.

“Well I’m proud to stand beside you tomorrow and watch you marry your dream man.” I lean down and give Payton a hug. “I’m so happy for you.”

Tears build in Payton’s eyes, and I smile warmly back.

“I better go. All our parents will be arriving soon.” She sniffs. “I just wanted to sneak in and be with my BFF before the chaos begins.”

I sigh.

“Yeah, I might go stretch my legs and then have a shower and get ready for tonight.” I stand and yawn. “Day drinking is so much fun but never ends well.”

Payton snickers.

“Two hours until dinner. I’ll see you when you get back.” She climbs off the bed and closes the door behind her.

I change into a pair of olive-green sweatpants and a hoodie, then jog out of the house and down onto the beach.

The light wind whips my ponytail around as my sneakers leave footprints in the white sand. The tide is not quite high so there is plenty of beach as the sun dips low in the sky.

A couple in the distance walks hand in hand and a couple of kids are tossing a frisbee.

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