Page 73 of Sweatpants & Sweet Tea

We made our way to our seats, and as soon as we sat down, she casually asked, “Do you think you’re going to go out with her again?”

“I don’t know,” I lied.

It might not be the nicest thing to do, but I wanted to see this through and find out if I had been delusional or if her feelings for me were more than she was admitting to.

Her entire body tensed at my response. For the remainder of the meeting, she barely acknowledged my presence. I’d made a few comments to her under my breath, funny comments, and all I got was a tight-lipped grin.

She was upset. Mad even. As bad as I felt for fucking with her, I had to admit I liked the fact that she’d had some sort of reaction.

Once the meeting was over, we all filed out, saying our goodbyes. Normally, I slipped out the back after grabbing my cinnamon roll, but tonight, we were stopped by at least a dozen people asking about Miss Rhonda. Daphne took the time to answer everyone’s questions, even though she didn’t have a ton of answers.

We were silent the entire way home, and when we pulled up to the Moore farmhouse before the truck even came to a stop, she was reaching for the handle.

“Thanks for the ride,” she said as she opened the door.

“Hey,” I placed my hand on her thigh, and she stilled and looked over at me. “Are you okay? You’ve seemed upset ever since you saw me talking to Ariana.”

“No. What? No. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” I questioned.

“Yes, I just… I have a lot on my mind.”

“Your aunt?”

“Aunt Rhonda is coming home Friday, and after that, I’m leaving. I’m going home,” she blurted out.

Her statement hit me like a punch in the gut. She was leaving. She wasn’t going to be right next door. I wasn’t going to be able to see her every day. To check on her. To make sure she was okay.

My reaction must have shown on my face because she asked, “What? What’s wrong?”

“I just…I hate the thought of you being across the country. I just don’t like the thought of no one being there if you need someone, or even just have a bad day.”

“I’m fine. I’m used to being on my own.” I could see the walls that had been down for the past three and a half weeks go right back up. “Thanks for the ride.”

I watched as she walked up the steps, and my chest ached. She might be used to being on her own, but she didn’t need to be. Not anymore. I just didn’t understand how she couldn’t see that.

35

DAPHNE

A yawn claimedme as I stared at the computer screen and went over this week’s inventory. The conversation I’d had with Harlan after tonight’s SBA meeting was running through my head on repeat. I couldn’t switch it off.

I lied to him. I had been upset about him talking to Ariana, but there was something more that was upsetting me. I’d been putting off telling him that Aunt Rhonda was coming home Friday and that I was going back to California on Sunday, and I’m not sure why. I told myself the reason was because Aunt Rhonda had made me promise not to tell anyone when she was being discharged because she didn’t ‘want anyone to make a fuss’ over her. But that wasn’t the reason I’d kept the information from Harlan. I knew that he would keep it a secret if I asked him to.

I think the reason I hadn’t said anything was because I knew when I did, it would be real. And I didn’t want it to be real. I didn’t want to think about going home. I just wanted to enjoy and soak up my time here, my time spent with Harlan, without the cloud of reality darkening my delusional skies.

But now I had. I blurted out that I was leaving. And Harlan, being Harlan, had to say the most perfect thing ever, “I hate the thought of you being across the country. I just don’t like the thought of no one being there if you need someone, or even just have a bad day.”

The sincerity in his sentiment felt like a knife twisting in my heart. In every relationship I’d been in, it was me who was nurturing, who made sure that my partner was okay, who worried about the other person. I’d never been on the receiving end of that treatment, and let me tell you, I could definitely get used to it.

Which was the exact reason I needed to leave. Not that I had much choice. Spending this past month in Firefly had cost me all my vacation and sick leave. I’d spoken to Alexandra earlier today, and she said if she didn’t see me on Monday morning, I could look for another job. She also had been calling me every day since I’d been gone to ask me questions, which should show her just how much she needed me.

Even though I was fifty percent sure she was bluffing about me actually getting fired if I took more time off, there was still the other fifty percent that had me equally convinced she’d follow through with the threat just to save face. I couldn’t roll the dice and risk my livelihood on fifty/fifty odds.

The seven weeks total I’d spent here had been the happiest I’d had in a long time. Maybe ever. I was trying to tell myself that the only reason I felt that way was because it wasn’t my home. If I lived here, I was sure things would bother me and get on my nerves. Although Nadia, Ashley, Zoe, Ray, and dozens of other residents didn’t seem to have that problem.

But I wasn’t like them. I needed a big city. I needed the hustle and bustle. I needed the buzz of traffic and people.

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