Page 29 of Sinful Desires

By Wednesday afternoon, spring had definitely sprung in the city. Normally, that was enough on its own to lift spirits. Pair warm temperatures with face painters and magicians, live music and jugglers, not to mention free prizes and more junk food than was probably wise to offer, and you had the recipe for some happy people at the carnival sponsored by the foundation.

“Congratulations!” I handed over a teddy bear roughly the same size as the little boy who’d won it and had the pleasure of watching his eyes go perfectly round like he couldn’t believe his luck. He was overjoyed and all over a teddy bear.

“Don’t forget. Not everybody grew up the way you have.”Something Mom had drilled into our heads from a young age, remembering how hard life had been for her and Uncle Barrett in their youth. There was a lot neither of them would go into specifics over, but Valentina and I had spent plenty of late nights trying to piece things together after family events, especially the one Christmas when Uncle Barrett had made comments about ‘that abusive fuck’ when talking about how their father treated Mom when compared to how Barrett treated Sienna.

I hated to think of my beautiful, sweet mother being abused, but it seemed possible she had been, along with her mother.

Something good had come from that. I wondered if I would have the same strength Mom did, turning my pain into purpose.

“Step right up!” I called out, beckoning passing women and children. “Try your luck!” All of the games were free. This wasn’t a fundraiser. It was a way for everybody to have a good time on a sunny day.

“Hot dog?” Valentina approached with one in each hand, holding one out to me. “Brown mustard and sauerkraut, as you like it.”

“Finally. I’m starving.” When she smirked, I explained, “You try being happy and peppy for two hours straight and see how tiring it is. All you have to do is plop sauerkraut on hot dogs.”

“You were the one who wanted to run a game booth.” Her phone chimed, and she checked it, frowning. “Honestly. What’s the point of having an out-of-office message in my email if somebody’s just going to text me to get my attention anyway?”

“Things will calm down in a couple of days,” I reminded her, referring to the club opening Friday night. As I spoke, I noticed the little boy with the giant teddy bear walking a little awkwardly as he tried to keep hold of his stuffed friend. Though it was slow going, he looked absolutely blissful.

I would ask myself the last time I was that happy, but I knew the answer. And I wished I knew what to do about it. It seemed right and wrong didn’t matter when it came to Miles. Knowing we shouldn’t have slept together while wondering when we could do it again.

In all of my twenty-eight years, I had never found anything or anyone capable of shutting off my brain and turning me into a mindless animal. I hadn’t known it was possible until Miles. Maybe for other people, but not for me.

The worst part? Every ounce of hatred, resentment, and mistrust had melted away like it was never there. I didn’t know what to think about that or what it said about me.

“No one can ever know about this.”Could I believe he would keep it a secret? When had I suddenly decided he was trustworthy? Oh, right, when my pussy started making decisions for me. Ridiculous, probably very stupid, but it was the truth. The responsible, levelheaded twin had gone off her rocker and was sleeping with her incredibly hot stepbrother. Nobody would believe it if they ever knew, which they never would. I would make sure of that.

“Oh! Look who it is.” Valentina jerked her chin toward something behind me. I turned to look and damn near choked on a bite of hot dog at the sight of familiar dirty blond hair now smoothed carefully into place. The last time I was with Miles, I had tousled those curls for hours.

Where had he come from? How did he know about this? Mom had probably told him. From the looks of it, he’d come from something business-related. His button-down dress shirt and silk tie made him stand out from the crowd, but then he would have no matter what he wore, at least to me.

I watched Miles gazing across the lot, his lips stirring in something close to a smile, when three excited little girls ran past, their faces freshly painted with cat whiskers and tiger stripes. It took so little to make kids happy. It was a shame grown-ups lost that somewhere along the way—the ability to be thrilled over the littlest things like face paint or a teddy bear. When had we all become so serious?

Once Miles was looking in our direction, Valentina waved an arm overhead. “Come, try your luck!” she called out while my pulse picked up speed. He chuckled, walking our way, barely avoiding getting run over by a guy on a unicycle.

The sun was already shining, but somehow, everything felt brighter now that he was here. What was happening to me? He had a great dick and stamina to match. Was that enough to wipe out everything that had gone down before Sunday night?

I had to remind myself not to smile too wide. It was only now that I realized how much I’d wished he was there. In a matter of weeks, I had gone from hating the fact that he existed to wishing he was with me.

“How’s your fastball?” I asked once he’d reached us, holding up a baseball and tossing it into the air. “Three balls for five dollars.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Valentina warned, laughing. “It’s free, and don’t let her tell you otherwise.”

“He can afford it.” This time, I tossed him the baseball, which he caught deftly. “Do you think you can hit the target?”

He narrowed his eyes at the ball, then at the painted target behind me. A bell would chime if he hit the bull’s-eye.

“I always do,” he replied with a wink, hinting at a double meaning that left me fighting back a knowing grin. Valentina was right beside him, so I couldn’t afford to blush. A little girl with red pigtails crept up close to where he stood, her gaze bouncing from the stuffed animals to the baseball he held. He noticed my grin and looked down at her. “If you were me, which prize would you choose?” he asked, his voice heavy and serious.

Her head tipped to the side before she flashed a gap-toothed smile. “You talk funny.” She giggled.

“Not where I come from,” he pointed out, solemn. “Come on. Help me choose, love.”

“The pink giraffe.” She didn’t have to think about it. She pointed straight to the toy in question.

“That is a very wise decision.” He nodded sagely, turning the ball in his hand and pulling his arm back. “For the giraffe.”

There was never a doubt in my mind I would hear that bell chime. When it did, the little girl bounced up and down, clapping wildly, her gap-toothed smile almost heartbreakingly cute.

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