Page 20 of Ice Me Baby

He shrugs. “Who says you have to let go of past dreams to move forward? And even if you’re stuck behind the glass wall, you won’t be stuck forever.”

“How are you so sure of that?”

He gives me a crooked grin as he says, “Because I believe in you. You’ll make all your dreams come true.”

I feel my cheeks heat. “I’m not so sure about that.”

He laughs. “You’re not alone anymore. If you need some help along the way, you have us.” His eyes soften as he says, “You’ve got me.”

Chapter Seven

July has finally arrived, and Saturday is officially my favorite day of the week. I wave goodbye to the kids, and they enthusiastically wave back. The song Set It All Free by Scarlett Johansson plays in the background. It has become one of the kids’ favorites to skate to. I’ve officially started teaching an ice-skating class at the local rink. As the last child leaves, the mom gives me a nod and walks through the door. I look around the rink and realize that the children helped clean up more than I expected. The clock on the wall reads six-fifteen, which means I’ve got some time to play if I want.Should I get some skating time in?With how busy everyone’s been preparing for the season, I haven’t had many chances lately.

Maybe it will help with the stress of someone leaving me random notes. Every day there is a new note waiting for me, but the one I found the day after hanging out with the guys was the most disturbing.

As a shiver runs down my spine, I look around the rink but find that I’m alone. At least, I think I’m alone. Trying to shake off the feel of invisible eyes, I glide across the ice and reach over the edge to grab my wireless headphones. I disconnect my phone from the rink’s Bluetooth speaker, so I can connect it to my headphones. Scrolling through my playlist, I find my favorite song from my favorite anime; Yuri on ICE by Taro Umebayashi.The piano makes my heart race each time I listen to it. My favorite scene in the show is when he skates to this song.

I wait till I’m in the center of the ice to tap play. It may have taken some time, but I’ve been back on the ice practicing these last ten years. Re-learning what felt natural to my body. The first two years were hell, but I never stopped, never gave up. I remember Yuri’s routine to this song, each jump and spin. Iremember practicing when I was younger. How badly I wanted to imitate Yuri.

Landing jumps still gives me trouble, but I wouldn’t let that stop me from trying. I spin to press my toe pick into the ice for a quadruple toe loop, double toe loop combo. I have to remind myself to use my right foot with jumps but always land on my left. It still feels odd to do things backward, but I can’t land on my right leg anymore. Not since the doctors repaired my ankle.

I wobble a bit as I land, but I did land it. With a smile, I continue moving through the choreographed steps I’ve practiced so often. My chest feels lighter with each move I make. My smile grows as I feel true freedom, flying across the ice. I’ve felt like a bird with a broken wing for too long. I’ve felt the sun’s rays, and the wind on my face, but it’s not the same as flight.

The quadruple salchow is next and, surprisingly, I land that as well. My breathing comes quicker as this is the longest I’ve skate on my ankle since that disastrous day. I feel the slight twinge, but I can’t stop. After a triple flip, I stick my landing and spread my arms wide just as the music slows. My face is turned toward the ceiling as if looking up to the sky.

Everyone tells me I have nothing to prove. But I do. I have everything to prove! Ihaveto prove it to that sixteen-year-old girl who lost all hope. I need to prove to that girl that just because I was injured doesn’t mean her love for skating will ever die.

To prove that—though her dreams of making the Olympics may be dead—the ability to skate will never die. All the years she struggled to get through physical therapy were worth it! The pain of re-learning how to walk on that leg was worth it!

My eyes begin to burn as I scream at my sixteen-year-old self.It’s worth every broken step! It will be worth it all to get to this moment!I need to prove that what the female medic said wastrue. Dreams are fluid things. They change, adapt, and grow with you.

It’s coming… the triple axel. I could hardly land it in practice after my injury, no matter how much I tried, but I need to try now. For her. For me. A bubble of laughter slips through my lips as I land it. Not perfectly by any means, but I landed it. As I seamlessly move into the quadruple toe loop, I can feel the ache in my ankle. I know I’m overdoing it, but I can’t quit. Not now.

It’s getting harder to control my breathing, but even with the burn in my chest, I refuse to quit.Triple axel, then move into a single-toe loop. Now triple salchow.My left ankle almost gives out on me, but I manage to keep going.

I can feel tears streaming down my face as I continue. The pain in my ankle has turned into a pulsing throb.Don’t stop now! You can’t stop! Prove to little Lizzy that Emmitt didn’t break you. He didn’t shatter your dreams! Prove it to her!

Burying the toe pick into the ice, I do the triple lutz, then move into the triple toe loop.I’ll prove it! I’ll prove it to them all!

I don’t mean to, but a scream bursts out of me as I attempt the quadruple flip and land it. A sob bubbles out, but I continue the routine. My chest is heaving when I pause in the final position.I… I did it. I fucking did it!

My ankles finally give, and I fall to the ground. I twist on the ice and lie spread eagle as I pant heavily. My eyes blur with the tears dripping down my face. The song switches to Never Enough by Kelly Clarkson, and my body jerks in surprise when I hear another pair of skates cut across the ice. I look up to find Oli racing toward me.

“Liz! You, okay?” The look of concern on his face makes me smile. He never looks that worried.

My head falls back to the ice. “I’m fine, Oli.”

“You fell so quickly. Are you sure you are alright?”

I lift my head off the ice again as my brows furrow. “How long have you been here?”

His cheeks flush pink as he stutters, “Um… well… you see. I… shit! I didn’t mean to watch, but when you started skating, you looked so beautiful. I had to watch.”

I smirk. “Is that so?”

“I came by to look at the hockey lessons sign-up sheet. You happened to be here, and I may or may not have seen you teaching the kids. I stuck around for a bit and was planning to leave, but then you started skating, and I couldn’t look away.” He huffs out a sigh and ruffles his hair. “I had no idea you could skate like that, Roe Roe.”

I hold out a hand to him. “Can you help me up?”