Lorna motioned toward the spot next to Amy. “Mind if I sit?”
“Go for it,” Amy said.
Lorna took a seat. “I’ve been clinging to a relationship that clearly wasn’t working because I didn’t want to be over thirty and alone. Does that make me the most foolish human being on earth?”
“No,” Amy said as her friend leaned her head on Amy’s shoulder.
“The more I tried to hang on, the more he pushed against it,” Lorna said.
“I can see that,” Amy agreed.
“Guess it took almost dying with him nowhere in sight to realize it,” Lorna stated.
“To be fair, he was on the opposite embankment.” Amy didn’t like Donnie and she sure as hell didn’t want her friend to go back to him, but everyone deserved honesty. Even a creep like Donnie. “Don’tget me wrong, there are plenty of other reasons to break it off with him.”
Lorna laughed. And then she got quiet. And then she said, “The minute you took off swimming, Knox didn’t think twice, he just went right after you like he couldn’t stand the thought of you being alone to fend for yourself.” She paused. “Why didn’t Donnie take off after me? If he loved me, I can’t help but think that’s how he would behave.”
Those words hit Amy hard.
Knox had gone after her but it was probably just because she was his best friend’s little sister. Like maybe he owed a debt to her brother or something along those lines, and not because he was crazy about her. She opened her mouth to point that out but then clamped it shut again just as quickly.
Knox had his own reasons for being here. She might never know because he might not ever tell her. She’d kidded herself into thinking they might have an unshakeable bond. But, really, who ever got that?
Whoever got the guy they’d dreamed about marrying for as long as they could remember?
Amy’s childhood crush was just that, a childish thing. Seeing him again awakened memories, which didn’t mean she loved him with a lasting love. What she felt was probably just an echo from the past, a memory, nothing more.
The spark she believed she saw in Knox’s eyescould be a figment of her imagination, too. More of that confirmation bias she’d learned about in science class years ago. Why that stuck when she couldn’t remember much else made no sense. But then life didn’t always fall neatly into place she’d learned the hard way.
“Are you okay?” she asked Lorna, needing to focus on something else before she drove herself mad, churning over Knox.
“I will be,” Lorna said. “We were together three years. It might take some time for my heart to catch up to the news it’s over between us.”
Telling Lorna she could do better wasn’t the play. She was hurting and didn’t need her mistakes rubbed in her face. So, Amy wouldn’t go there.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” she settled on instead.
“Me too,” Lorna stated.
As far as their friendship went, it was on notice. Amy had no interest in keeping a close relationship with someone who’d been so quick to use her. But she would gain nothing from kicking another person when they were down and, for the time being, they were in survival mode.
The peace that came with being here in the village wouldn’t last long. They would have to venture back out into the jungle soon enough. Right now, though, Amy wanted to focus on this moment,how good it had felt to finally wash the dirt and mud from her body, and how amazing clean clothes were. She slicked her tongue across clean teeth. Miracles.
“What’s our next move?” Lorna asked, staring at the tangle of vines and trees not twenty feet from where they sat.
“I guess we head back out there at some point,” Amy said.
“Knox doesn’t trust Donnie, does he?”
“A person like Knox doesn’t trust anyone,” Amy pointed out. Including her? Her friend was right. Knox especially didn’t trust Donnie.
It dawned on her that might be the problem with Knox. Trust. There was no way to be in any kind of relationship without basic trust. As much as her stubborn side wanted to defy the odds and convince him to trust her, she knew a lost battle when she saw one. Besides, hadn’t she wasted enough time pining over someone who was uninterested and incapable of loving her back?
The short answer? Yes.
Her heart argued against moving on, but logic said it was time.
Amy lost track of time as she sat there with Lorna’s head on her shoulder. It was Donnie who finally peeked around the hut, panic written all over his expression. He issued a sharp sigh. “There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you two.”