Page 81 of Sinners Retreat

“She married at the tender age of fifteen, and the man was a monster in more ways than one. He tried to slit her throat in a drunk fit of rage soon after the honeymoon. She survived, but her vocal cords were too damaged to repair.”

My hand rises to my throat. “Oh my god, that’s horrible.”

“It truly is. That’s why we don’t ask her any questions unless they have a yes or no answer.”

“Well, fuck. That explains why she walked off. Now I feel like a shitbag.”

He wraps a comforting arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. “Don’t worry. You didn’t know, and she won’t hold that against you. But that’s why she sticks with Grim on these retreats. They have some weird sort of language. They can communicate without speaking.”

“How beautiful and sad,” I say. “At least they’ve found each other. Do they have a relationship outside of this?”

Ezra shrugs his shoulders. “I’m not entirely sure. They neither leave nor arrive together, so I’d say not.”

I can’t imagine finding someone who understands me in a way that no one else does, then only seeing them for a few dayseach year. Then I look at Ezra and realize I might beforcedto imagine it.

We haven’t talked much about what happens when we leave the island. I’m not sure what he wants or expects, and I’m too afraid to ask. If he says he just wants this to be a fun fling, I’ll be heartbroken because I want more. I didn’t at first, but now...

He has me rethinking everything.

I’ve pictured myself in a wedding dress, for fuck’s sake! I’ve even picked out what Cat—my only bridesmaid—will wear, along with what I’ll say to convince her to walk down the aisle with Bennet. I’ve imagined a house, a dog, and many happy nights spent before a roaring fire as we wear nothing but the clothes God gave us. No kids, though. We can’t raise children while we’re busy concealing our favorite hobby.

I’m only missing one important thing, and that’s Ezra’s input. He’s the main character in my fantasies, after all.

The boat comes to a stop before I can muster the courage to broach the topic. Ezra places a chaste kiss on my lips before he and Ice Pick begin their anchor duty.

Grim descends from the wheelhouse and joins us on the deck. He’s no longer wearing his wetsuit. Instead, he’s stripped down to his beloved Speedo.

“Rose and I have decided we’ll stay on the boat while you swim,” he says. “We may join you in the water, but we may not. Have fun.”

He turns and retreats up the steps, but not before I feel like I’m the reason they’re staying behind. I need to make this up to Rose somehow.

Ezra, sensing my downward spiral, sidles up to me and leans close to my ear. “This isn’t because of you,” he says. “To be frank, they’re probably staying behind to fuck.”

Images of their naked bodies slamming together rush unbidden through my head, and I feel a bit queasy. I’ll chalk it up to seasickness if he asks.

“Let’s just get in the water,” I say.

Once we’re weighed down with gear, we head to a lower deck and make our way to the rear of the boat. A white buoy bobs in the wake nearby. I can only assume this marks the activity area.

Needing no assistance, Ice Pick covers his face with a diving mask, grips a machete to his chest, and drops back-first into the water. Despite his large size, he doesn’t float back to the surface. In fact, in the span of only a few seconds, he’s disappeared from view.

Ezra fiddles with the tanks strapped to my back, assuring everything is connected and working properly. “Just remember that you shouldn’t hold your breath. We won’t be very deep, but just keep breathing, especially when we’re coming to the surface.”

“What, will my lungs explode or something?” I laugh as he comes around to face me.

He doesn’t so much as crack a smile.

“Ezra? Will my fucking lungs explode?”

“We aren’t going that deep, pet.”

He grips my hand and tries to lead me to the boat’s edge, but my feet are massive lead weights.

“I don’t know if I want to do this anymore.” I back up a few steps. “Maybe I should stay on the boat. You know, in case there’s an emergency.”

Instead of laughing at me and saying I’m being ridiculous, or shrugging his shoulders and leaving me to listen to the elderly love making, he pulls me into him. His powerful arms wrap around me, and he places a kiss on my head.

“We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable doing. Besides, if we want to drown some Cattle, we could always have Jim set something up at the pool.”

---