Page 67 of Sinners Retreat

“No, it’s not,” I whisper as I turn around and break into a run.

Trees and tiki torches rush by in a blur. If I don’t tell her everything right now, I don’t know if I ever will. It won’t be easy, but it’s better to rip off the Band-Aid now and give some time for the wound to heal. Kindra’s a smart girl. She’ll do her own digging, and once she discovers the truth, she’ll come around.

I stop running when a strange sound reaches my ears. It’s almost like a gentle wail riding in on the wind, but the sea swallows the keening cry before it fully reaches my ears. As I draw nearer to Kindra’s villa, the sound grows in strength.

Is she . . . weeping?

Light catches on her hair. She’s seated on the porch, right where I left her, and yes, that sound is coming from her. I know this because the sound stops when she tips the wine bottle against her lips, then begins again when she’s done guzzling.

“Is everything okay?” I ask.

Not the most brilliant move on my part. My voice startles her, which sends the wine bottle flying directly at my head. I duck just in time, and the bottle collides with the sand behind the boardwalk. Incredibly, it remains intact, but I don’t fetch it. Kindra doesn’t need any more wine.

As I approach, she swipes her hands over her eyes, desperate to conceal any lingering hint of vulnerability. This poor, poor creature. How terrible to go through life as you hide your emotions from the world. And I would know.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you. I just...” I step onto the small porch, still searching my mind for the words that must be said. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

She waves her hand and purses her lips. “No, no. You don’t need to say anything. I already know. Now that I’m falling for you, you’ve lost interest. It’s cool. I’m cool. You’re cool.”

“No, pet. That’s not what I wanted to say at all.” I rush to her side and brush the sweat-soaked hair from her tear-stained cheeks. “I haven’t lost interest. On the contrary, my interest in you has only grown from the moment I laid eyes on you.”

I want to lean forward and kiss her, but I also recognize that this isn’t the right moment. Not when she’s this sloppy. She’s liable to spill her guts in the most unappealing sense. Instead, Isit beside her, guide her head to my shoulder, and wrap my arm around her.

“I’m so sorry I’ve made you feel as if I’ve lost interest,” I say, then kiss the top of her head. The sun set hours ago, but I can still feel the sunshine in her hair.

She shakes her head and sniffles. “No, I’m the one who should apologize. I’m a miserable, closed-off, antisocial mega-bitch. How can I expect anyone to find something to like about me when I’m in a constant state of fuck-off?”

“The right person sees through the rough exterior and spots the promise within.” I pull her against me and brush my hand up and down her arm. “You haven’t scared me off yet, love.”

This sets her off again, and she wails against my bare chest. Had this been any other woman—and I speak from experience, mind you—this show of melancholy would be a major turn off. I’d be squirming in my skin, looking for the exit.

But now?

Now, I want to let her cry. I want to hold her until she’s let it all out. I want to be her source of comfort. When the world is at her back and she feels she has nowhere else to go, I want her to run to me.

Even though I have no right.

I’ve been the source of her pain for so many years. It’s not right for me to keep this secret from her any longer, regardless of what the truth will do to me.

“Kindra, I really need to be honest with you about something.” I try to peel my arm from behind her, but she clutches my wrist and pulls it back into place over her shoulder.

“No,” she mumbles. “Whatever it is, I don’t want to know right now. I just want to stay like this for as long as possible. Just hold me, Ezra.”

So I close my eyes and I hold her. I rub her arm and let her rest against my chest as the stars cut a path through the sky. Ifshe wants me to wait to tell her, I will, but I don’t feel great about it.

“Truth or dare?” she says after a long stretch of silence.

My lips form a lazy smile. “Truth.”

Sitting up, she rubs her eyes, then looks into mine. “Have you thought about what happens after the retreat?”

I know what she’s asking, but I decide to toy with her. “Well, I don’t have to think about it too much. I already know what happens. Jim has a clean-up crew that comes in and takes care of the bodies. A cannibal tribe from?—”

“What? No!” She smacks my arm. “You know what I mean.”

“Oh, you mean with us? Yes, I’ve given it a bit of thought, but it’s still early days, so I wasn’t sure if it would be weird to bring it up. Plus, you seem to enjoy flying solo, and I didn’t want to wreck your carefully curated mystique.”

“Carefully curated mystique? Do you ever listen to what you’re saying?”

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