Page 127 of Obsession

I tried to stay strong, not to react. Before I could kick him out again, he said:

“I’ve never set foot in Amber’s house, and the redhead isn’t what you think it is, love,” He whispered, and I wished he’d just call me “baby”.

For fuck’s sake!I tried not to believe his words because I knew he was lying and asking him what it was wouldn’t magically make him tell the truth.

“Whatever. You asked, I answered. Now please go,” I went to the dresser to get my pajamas, and I desperately needed a shower and some relaxation. “I don’t want to find you here when I get back,” I demanded, causing him to give me a skeptical and amused look. “I am serious, Harris,” I continued, raising my index finger as if to scold him.

He finally nodded.

Part of me was relieved, and I mentally kicked the part of me that wanted Harris with me all night.

Before any silly thoughts overcame me, I walked past him and out of my room. I was surprised he didn’t stop me, but it was better that way. Better for me.

I crossed the corridor on my tiptoes. It was quiet in my father’s room, so he was still asleep. I carefully closed the bathroom door behind me and locked it, because I had to be careful – considering the uninvited guest in my house. I couldn’t really feel comfortable around Harris anymore. I quickly undressed and wondered what time it was. I’d lost track of time since I’d spoken to Harris on the phone, and even then, I didn’t know what time it was.

I threw my clothes in the hamper and was shocked to see what else was in there. I grabbed the new but crumpled firefighter suit – all red with silver reflective stripes. So, my father really had found a new job.

And I imagined all sorts of scenarios about his whereabouts and his erratic schedule. I closed the lid of the already full laundry basket and made a mental note to do the laundry and tidy up the house a bit. I had to do my part somehow for underestimating him so far. What had I been thinking? That he had found someone else? I shook my head, annoyed at my own hypothesis.

The bathroom window was open, and I could clearly hear the engine. I knew it so well: he was gone.

A deep sigh escaped my lips. I was relieved. It was better this way because Harris was dangerous to me. He was dangerous in more and more ways.

But… why did I suddenly feel empty and sad about his departure? Why did my entire body ache and my heart start to burn?

Because I knew where he was going.

He left me, I kicked him out, but he always had other options.

That was the truth and I had to admit it. Harris wasn’t a guy who had to fight for attention, not when he was getting it from everywhere. Why did he have to fight for me when Amber’s body was so available?

The anger and pain almost made me cry, then I cursed my stupidity. The state this guy had brought about in just a few days….

I stepped under the stream of water and allowed the warmth to surround me. I needed to wash away his touch, his breath on my skin, those sweet, poisonous words. I turned the water as hot as I could, so hot I could feel my skin burning, and I winced in pain. I needed it, anything to forget him.

When I got out of the shower, I went straight to the window, the cool night air feeling divine on my heated skin. I dried it off quickly and changed into a pair of pajama shorts and a white tank top. It was my usual sleepwear, but now it felt uncomfortable against my body. What the hell had I been thinking, cooking myself like this? As if that could have really erased what Harris had done to me.

I ran the brush through my wet hair a few times, which I was sure would look like a haystack tomorrow, but I didn’t feel like blow-drying it. I hurriedly brushed my teeth and felt my stomach protesting with hunger. Once again, I hadn’t eaten anything.

Well done, Katherine! You’re back on drugs and you’ve stopped eating. You’re on the right track.

I had stopped criticizing myself because there were many people who did that for me.

I stepped out of the bathroom and thought about going downstairs and eating something, but it wasn’t worth the effort.

My room was empty. It was silent.

I took a deep breath, looked around and tried not to think about him, not to think about how lonely I suddenly felt in this bedroom that was still unfamiliar to me.

I switched off the light on my bedside table because I felt the need to wrap myself in darkness.

Harris had left the balcony door open, so I went to close it. My skin was still burning, so I stepped out into the cool night air and immediately felt a palm on my mouth before I could scream.

The smell of tobacco emanating from his hand and his breath filled my nostrils.

The dim light from the fluorescent tube on the street helped to clear his features a little and my horror ceased.

Harris pushed me back and pressed the cigar against the wall before throwing it over the banister. He closed the door and drew the curtains, and only then did he remove his palm from my mouth.

---