Page 254 of Obsession

“Yes,” was all he said as he stared at my lips.

I wished more and more that I could read his mind, to find out what was bothering him when he looked at me like that, when he seemed so mesmerized that he couldn’t find the words.

I took advantage of his distraction and pulled down his boxers when he stopped arguing and allowed me to take them off.

He was completely naked, I was completely naked.

“Baby...” he whispered again as I stood up, interrupting his words.

I straddled him, and he groaned painfully as he grabbed my hips to hold me above him, then bumped his head against the headrest.

“If you sit here, it’s over. I won’t be able to hold back anymore. I can’t ...”

Another pained groan escaped him and I felt his member twitch beneath me. He was so ready.

“I don’t want you to stop, baby,” I took his face in my palm and leaned towards him while he still held me suspended. I didn’t manage to beat him, not even when I pushed my hips down, he was too strong for me.

“No.” he growled.

“Why not?”

The desperation in my voice was clear, as was my impatience.

Harris opened his eyes and looked directly at me, more intensely than I could bear.

“I love you and I want you more than anything in the world, you know that, but this will not happen until you feel the same, if ever. I promised you it would be different this time, that I’d fix everything I did wrong in the beginning, and even if, fuck…” his head bumped against the headrest again and he gritted his teeth and I thought I heard them crack, “even if it’s the most painful thing I have ever done, I will abstain. I promised to abstain and I will never break a promise to you again.”

I wanted to scream.

Just that, scream as loud as I could and punch something because what was happening was so fucked up. He refused to sleep with me because he thought I didn’t love him back.

Oh god!

I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. How could he have imagined that I didn’t love him after all I’d been through and stayed?

But I didn’t say it back.

That was actually the problem. I hadn’t responded to his confession, and now it was too late for me to do so. I couldn’t say it now because it would ruin everything, because he would think it was an unimportant confession that I would say quickly to convince him to let go of my hips.

After how he’d said, an “I love you too, Harris” wasn’t going to cut it.

I struggled to calm myself and pressed my forehead against his. I pulled back, and he let me sit on his legs without touching his member.

“And it’s not just about that,” he continued before I could find the right words, “it’s also about what I am and what I do. When the time comes, Katherine, you will be mine forever. I will be yours. But we can’t start until you know… know everything about me,” I pulled back to look at him, “before you accept everything,” he continued in a serious tone, and the heat inside me suddenly cooled and was replaced by a shiver of fear.

“There’s more?”

He sighed.

“Unfortunately, yes, baby. I’m afraid that you actually… found out nothing. Nothing from the present. I have only told you about my past.”

“And the present is much harder than the past, isn’t it?” I guessed bitterly, and he didn’t even blink.

“More dangerous,” he corrected me as a shiver ran down my spine.

Harris forced himself to his limits and pulled me against him until I felt him hard and massive against my stomach, but it wasn’t the right position.

His lips reached my forehead as his head fell back.

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