Page 41 of Monsters in Love: Lost in the Underworld

“I have beennothingbut what you wanted, what you made me to be. You wanted a villain, princess, and then whined when that is what you got. Oh, you may complain, but without me, where would your precious games have been? How would you have amused yourself if my armies hadn’t given yours someone to triumph over? When you grew bored, I launched a new attack. When you were tired, when your forces could take no more, I’d conveniently have a catastrophe.”

His hand loosened on my chin and, like a whisper, his thumb glided across my cheek. If it were anyone less precise, I’d assume it was a mistake. But as far as his body was concerned, Orcus was all restraint.

I could have twisted out of his grip then, as easily as a thought... and yet... it was the most alive I had felt in years.

In my chest, my heart beat out of control, and I felt no compulsion to slow it. Instead, I wanted to drown in that feeling, allow the thrumming in my veins, the confusion in my mind, and the warmth that emanated from him to consume me. I wanted to bask in the feeling of helplessness he gave me. For a moment, I wasn't a goddess, in charge of an entire planet I made on a whim. I was simply a captive, transfixed by the black eyes boring into me and the euphoria I felt building within.

I studied his face, unfamiliar and yet, so entirely fitting. Was this what he looked like underneath the shadows that always clung to him? He had always been so terrifying, and even now, as I saw his shadows coalescing behind him, I felt exhilarated.

Orcus blinked at me, as if confused. His hand shifted from gripping my jaw to my neck. His finger pressed gently into my pulse, surprise flashing across his face before he pulled his cool mask of indifference across.

“I think, princess, I may have just found us a solution to your little problem.”

1 I must admit to a distinct disappointment at never seeing our Lady in her power. She sounds like a force to be reckoned with.

2 Here, Orcus refers to the trips our Lady made to the planet Earth and others to study their balance. During those times, the world we now know descended into utter chaos, sometimes at a metaphysical level.

3 To say that this is both a cause for concern and jubilation is an understatement. The find of this text has set all of Sanctuary in a flurry. If this is true, the slow decay of the barrier could indeed be a countdown to her Awakening.

In Which an Agreement, A Farewell, and the Lady Enters Her Lake

I stared up at him,this man, this god, that I knew so well. And yet, until today, I'd never seen his face. He stared so intently, his focus tangible on my skin. His plan was a mystery to me, but the idea of it terrified and tantalized me. A liquid, pulsing heartbeat that I couldn't suppress. Surely, if I somehow managed to do so, I'd die just as quickly.

I gulped and watched as his face changed. I couldseehim feel the muscles in my neck move, the power it gave, despite theinaccuracy of the scenario. He couldn’t kill me if he tried, unless I allowed it, but whatever passed between us was the closest I've ever been to true danger.

When I spoke, my voice was a rasping whisper, certainly not what I'd intended, and far more vulnerable than I was comfortable with. “Why do you call me that?”

I should have asked him about his “solution.” Instead, the question bubbled through my lips before I could stop it. I'd wondered for years. “Princess” had always been his favorite condescension, but it had never stung quite the way I thought he meant it to.

“Ah, now there's a question,” he said. He smirked as he said it, and I realized that in this form, he was taller than I was by a fair bit. Why had I allowed that to happen? I'd always been careful to avoid putting myself at a disadvantage, especially with him.

“I decided long ago that if I was to be what you needed, if I was truly your greatest adversary, I could not allow you dominion over me. If I addressed you as Lady, or my Goddess too frequently, I'd inherently internalize a power differential. To me, you could not be more powerful. I needed to know, to believe to my very core, that we were equals. Otherwise, you'd surely prevail every time. And that's no fun for anyone, is it?”

“N-no.” My breathing quickened. Perhaps I'd made a mistake when I'd fashioned my body. I modeled it on the humans I so loved, and subjected myself to the weaknesses such a body would impose. So, I breathed. My heart raced. Blood pumped through my veins along with magic, displaying the way he affected me plainly.

“Now, to my idea...” he flexed his fingers again, running his thumb along my artery. “You want to atone for your mistake, to give the world time to mature without your influence? I propose you submit to my punishment, with guidelines, of course, and I will help you make amends. I've an idea where I could execute this “slumber” you mentioned in your original missive. Because I'd be overseeing it, I'd remain in contact with you, in complete control of your keeping, wellbeing, protection, progress, and schedule. Perhaps, by the time your self-imposed exile was over, we'd have learned a few things, and you'll emerge the goddess I know you are capable of being.”

The idea shouldnothave excited me. I should have screamed in horror or lashed out at him, showing him what a ridiculous notion it was that he should have dominion over me. I should have burned him to a crisp where he stood, or at least transported myself back.

And yet, I did not. I stared up at him, my mind whirling faster than my human body should allow. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening to me. Here I was, being held so gently, so firmly, by my greatest enemy. I was shivering all over… and it was the most thrilling experience I'd had in years, perhaps my entire life.

I hadn't felt as exhilarated since I had learned of the planet Earth and conceived of my own. Since then, for years, I had tried to recreate the adrenaline-fueled euphoria of my discovery.

And so, instead of burning him to a crisp or fleeing the situation, I tilted my head and pursed my lips. “What sort of guidelines?”

“Everything will be negotiated in advance, and I will not keep you beyond what you've agreed to. In fact, we should putsafeguards in place to ensure that you can wake up, should you be ready before then.”

It solved several of my problems quite tidily. I wouldn’t have to worry about Orcus interfering with whoever I placed in charge of my slumber, because he would be in charge. For some reason I couldn’t quite explain, that thrilled me.

I'd always felt I was someone who knew her own mind. But I was slowly learning how wrong I was. I had somehow created layers to Orcus and with his shadows gone, I'd apparently made him astoundingly beautiful, in the most dangerous way.

Daysof careful preparation and planning later, I stood shivering inside my mountain. I'd needed to do everything I'd done, certainly, but I can't deny that I delayed more than needed. I might have hurt the people of this world, perhaps beyond repair, but I still loved them. It was because of this love that I needed to leave them. I'd made them for me, selfishly, and though I knew they deserved the chance to grow without my influence, I desperately wished that was not the case.

The cavern, though it would seem vast to a human, was snug for me, as I knew it would be for Orcus when he arrived. To one side was a small overlook where my people could, if they wanted, observe me.

A singular winding tunnel served as the opening to the valley beyond, to my perfect hamlet I'd created for my most steadfastsupporters. On my trip to Earth, I'd observed a village that was perhaps the most magical place I'd ever seen, and I'd recreated it, with a few improvements, for my people. Inhaling, I closed my eyes, squeezing back tears. I'd not see the beautiful settlement for a thousand years, at least not with my own eyes.

Orcus had indicated that he disagreed with my intent of total isolation. He'd ensure that I had updates on their progress. It wasn’t clear if this was a kindness or punishment—perhaps both.

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