Page 14 of Vaughn

Fuck. My. Life. "We're not going that far tonight, Val. There's so much you have to learn, I have to be so easy with you. If you want me to show you what pleasure is, I can help with that, but I don't want you touching me, not right now. I want to show you what this can be for you. Will you let me do that?"

"Yes." She licks her lips. "Yes, I'll let you do it. I'm ready."

Giving myself a pep talk isn't something I thought I would be doing at this age, but here I am. Reaching forward, I grab hold of the edge of her shirt, and lift it up, exposing her stomach and the lace of her bra. Leaning into her, I press my lips to the skin above the cup. When she shivers, I lift my eyes to hers, and our gazeslock as I slip the material of the bra down, my lips close around her hard nipple, and I suckle.

Hard.

Val comes apart against me, rocking her hips, and it takes everything I have to not explode in my boxer briefs like a teenager getting touched for the first time.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Val

"What's wrong with you today? That's the third fork you've dropped." Gabby gives me a once-over, as if she's looking for what's causing me to be so clumsy.

"Do I look different to you?" I demand. We have an hour before the shop opens, and if this is the way I'm going to work today, I might as well head upstairs and go back to sleep.

"You seem like maybe you didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night. Other than that, not much looks different. Should it?"

I tilt my head back and wonder what I should tell Gabby. She's been my closest friend since I came to Broken Falls, and if there's anyone I trust, it's her. "Vaughn and I made out last night, and..." I glance around to make sure it's just us, that none of the interns have shown up. "He gave me an orgasm." My face is flaming. Burning red, and full of heat in a way I've never felt before. This in't like me to be so forward with someone, but I need to talk about this.

"Oh my gosh, Val. Was it your first? Did the two of you have sex?"

I nod, walking over to the bench we have in the corner, and have a seat. My brain is foggy and I think I'm literally going topass out. Maybe this is what a panic attack feels like? "It was my first, no we didn't have sex."

Gabby presses her temples before pushing her hair back. "If I'm asking too much here, you need to tell me, but I think of you like a little sister, and I'm worried. Do you know about sex? Has anyone had that talk with you? You're so sheltered, Val."

I inhale sharply, my eyes meeting hers. "I was told a few things, but I'm beginning to think they were very biased."

"Why?" Her eyebrows tilt together, and she crosses her arms over her chest.

"Because I was led to believe..." I stop for a moment, licking my dry lips, and avert my gaze as I say these next words. "That pleasures of the flesh were both a good and bad thing. I was told that women could hurt men by not going through withfinishing. That we held our salvation in our hands. God punishes those that seek pleasure outside of marriage. We aren't allowed to hug fully, only side hugs. The first kiss is supposed to happen at the altar of our wedding."

"Jesus Christ, Val." Gabby sighs. "Sorry, that's probably not what you wanted to hear. What do you need from me?"

This is the part where I'm unsure, because I've never had anyone to speak to when it comes to anything regarding sex. I purse my lips, start to speak, then close my mouth. Open it again, trying to form my thoughts, and then decide I just need to get this out. "If I were really your sister, or your daughter, what would you say to me? What advice would you give? I'm beginning to learn that no one had my best interest at heart. Instead they kept me scared."

"How?" Gabby reaches over, grabbing my wrist. "You've alluded a few times that something happened to you. In order for me to know how to approach this with you, I need to understand where you're coming from. We will not turn that sign over to open until you're comfortable, Val. I promise you."

No one has ever cared about me this much; ever. There's always been some reason why I shouldn't be asking these questions, good girls should be seen and not heart. If God wanted me to know, then I'd find out, but I was never to ask. "The reason I left my family is because I got uncomfortable." I start the story, not sure how to get this out, but knowing I must. "I've been developing for years." I motion to my chest. "I wore a binder. Do you know how that felt?"

"Like you should've been ashamed of your body? I'm sorry Val. There's absolutely nothing wrong with how you look, and what you have. Did they not tell you that you're made the way the Lord wanted you to be made? "

I shake my head. "It was like that for the men, but not for the women, especially the young ones. So after I started to develop, I was told that I would be married off to someone older, one of the elders. I did everything I could..." I swallow around the tightness in my throat. It's almost like a vice, and barely lets the saliva go past. "To make myself be someone who wasn't coveted, who wasn't wanted."

"Oh Val. You're gorgeous." Gabby reaches out, brushing my hair back. "You can't hide that. You have a light about you, a glow that comes from the inside. When you smile, the whole room lights up, and there are men who want to extinguish that light, because they think we don't deserve it. Was that the type of man who made you run?"

"Yes." I answer, finally feeling as if I have a voice. "He was older, in his forties, but it isn't like Boone and Alexis. He didn't worship the ground I walk on, he didn't look at me the way Boone looks at her. He wanted me as a prize to show off, and he wanted me to say yes when he had a need." I shiver, thinking of the situation I found myself in the day I left.

"You can tell me, Val." She encourages. "The more you keep it quiet, the more power you give him. Something happened tome when I was in college. I was with someone I thought was a friend." She shrugs, almost as if she's as helpless now as I felt back then. "I trusted him to take me back to my dorm room. He pushed me into the room, pressed me up against the wall, spread my legs, stuck his fingers past my underwear and shoved them inside me." She runs a hand through her hair, blowing out a breath. "I don't talk about it, because no one wants to, but you aren't alone. I can assure you most women you see, have had an experience they didn't ask for."

I appreciate what she's told me, because it makes me feel like I'm less of a victim. Instead, I'm more of a member of a group, one that many seem to know about. There's strength in numbers, and I'm thankful to know I'm not by myself any longer. "I was told that I would be marrying, and it wasn't necessarily the marriage that worried me. I always knew what my place was in the family. It was expected I would be the first one married, because I'm the oldest daughter. I was aware that I'd be marrying into a certain family, in order to strengthen the bonds of my family's position within the church. I knew my place." I stop for a second, rolling my lips together.

"I hate this for you, Val. You're such an amazing person with the type of personality I always wish I had. You sit back, you watch, you listen. You're not quick to anger or to praise. You hold off until the time is right for you to make yourself known. I hate that someone tried to dull your shine."

Those words almost break me, because I wasn't sure anyone else would ever care about me. Not after what I did, and Gabby? She's been my rock through all of this, whether she realizes it or not. "I knew my place." I continue. "I was willing to grin and bear it, to not have those romantic feelings that I'd seen on the TV shows I snuck and watched, in the books I hid and read. What I did want? A husband who would listen to me, who would care for me as a human being."

Gabby scoffs, shaking her head. "And what did you get?"