It's true I really was terrified. It's not that I think Fallen are bad. I never believed that, but knowing my father. He would have me killed for mating a fallen. It came down to whether I want to return home or do I want to continue down the path the divine granted for me. After talking to Talia during my so-called detention, I knew the answer. The Divine put me on this path for a reason, and it was time for me to follow it instead of fighting it.
"My father isn't a good angel, Phoenix," I continue, trying to come up with the right way to word this. "He is a bastard who believes he is above everyone else. My whole life was about not bringing shame on our family, which I seemed to do just by existing. Nothing I ever did was right. When I got sent here, it was my chance to show him and myself that I could be a good angel. However, since I got here, life has shown me the opposite. Not that I'm a bad angel," I amend quickly, realizing I'm fucking this all up. "Just that my life is meant to follow a different path. Not the one my father wanted for me. I spoke to Councilwoman Talia during my detention with her on Wednesday. She helped me see the world differently. I can have it all. I can have the life that I want, but I can also have the mates the Divine destined me to have. After that, I knew that making things right with you and Warrick needed to happen. I wasn't sure who I was goingto speak to first, but it just happened to be Warrick after Friday night's events."
"You spoke to Talia?" he asks shocked. "Did you tell her about us?"
"Sort of. I talked to her about mates and asked if there were mates between Angels and Fallen Angels, but I didn't specifically tell her about us. However, after the phone call Warrick and I had with her on Saturday afternoon, I have a feeling she knows. I'm sorry if you wanted to keep it private. I just really needed some advice, and she told me I could ask her anything," my voice drops to almost a whisper as I pull my hands from his. I'm scared that I fucked this up even more than we already had. I should have talked to him before telling Talia. That's on me.
Phoenix starts laughing and places his finger under my chin so he can look me in the eyes. I'm scared he is about to reject me right now for this, but his eyes soften as he stares at me. "Beautiful, I could care less if Talia knows. Considering the fact that she is my sister-in-law, it is bound to come out eventually. It would have made our first family dinner awkward if we hadn't told her ahead of time."
"You're related to her?!" I practically shout in surprise. "Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. I shouldn't have brought it up to her. She doesn't know it's you, or at least I don't think she does. Wait," I pause, my mind finally putting pieces together. "Is that why she was fine with me staying here with you? Because she knew there was something between us, and since you all are family, she trusted you both with me."
"The second part of your reasoning is probably right. Rhys and I both had to explain to her why we wanted you to stay with us. In the end, she only agreed because we are family, and I had to promise my brother, or well Rhys's brother, that we would be on our best behavior and keep you safe. If we didn't, then Alex is allowed to kick our asses to kingdom come. I don't think sheknew about my feelings for you, but she could have. Nothing escapes Talia's notice. She's good people." He's so excited as he talks about his family.
I'm however surprised. The angel world is huge. I'm just coming to grips with the fact that Angels and Fallen Angels mingle more than I had expected, but now it feels like this is a lot smaller of a world than I originally thought. The Divine must be up there laughing at us and the mess we are making of everything. He also must think it's hilarious to combine our families in this way. Talia already had her fight with the Seraphim Council and somehow came out on top. Now, it's going to have to be my turn if I want to have Phoenix as my mate. If Talia could do it, then I have a feeling I can, too. I can't keep living my life afraid of my father.
"So does this mean that you want to do this? You have to know it was an uphill battle for Talia. It isn't going to be any easier for us. If anything, it's going to be harder. I'm part of the Seraphim. My father, Cassiel, is on the Seraphim Council. He isn't going to make this easy on us. Heck, if anything, he may try to kill you." I don't want to scare him, but he needs to know the truth. I'll face my father, something I should have done years ago, but I can't do it alone. I know Warrick will help, but if Phoenix doesn't want this life, then I won't ask him of it.
"Arabella, I would go through hell and back for you. I'm not afraid of the council, and I'm not afraid of your father. I know what Talia went through. I was just a little kid, but I remember all of it. If you say it's going to be harder, then fine. It will be harder, but we will have my family's backing. I just don't think the Seraphim Council is ready to face my family any time soon," he laughs darkly before sobering up. "Warrick and I can handle this. He and I talked on Saturday. You have both of us, forever. When you're ready, I can get Talia to help us with both matingceremonies. Well, at least the Angel one. Fallen Angels don't exactly have a ceremony of any kind."
"What do Fallen Angels do?" I've been curious about their ways and this is my chance to finally learn something.
"We exchange blood by drinking a few drops from each other. The process binds our souls forever and does not just bind us with magic like Angels do. The bond between Fallen is stronger because it can never be broken, unlike how you all do it." I can tell he doesn't mean anything with his words, but they still hurt some. I heard that breaking a bond between angels is extremely painful and only done in certain circumstances. It's something I knew I never wanted to experience ever, it's why I was nervous during my mating ceremony.
"I didn't mean to worry you, Arabella," he begins, moving out of his seat so he can stand in front of me. "We won't do our mating ceremony until you are one hundred percent positive that you are ready for that level of commitment, and we can't ever change our minds."
"I..." I mumble trying to figure out the right thing to say. "I want to say that I'm ready for that but I'm also scared. Does that mean that when one of us dies so does that other?" Among Angels when your mate dies you have the choice to pass with them or carry on. It's rare for a mate to choose to carry on but it does happen when younger kids are involved. If there is a blood bond that can't be broken it makes me believe that they don't get the choice to carry on if they would want to. I don't necessarily see that being an issue but it is something to consider.
"Yes, if one mate dies then the other does as well. It's how I lost my parents and joined Rhys's family," he answers somberly. I can see the pain in his eyes as he answers me. Reaching out I grasp his forearm and squeeze reminding him that he isn't alone and that he's here with me. "It's not something I would ask you to take on without thought. It's part of why I froze up thatmorning. I didn't want to ask you to take on that burden. You shouldn't have to die if something were to ever happen to me."
"Are you saying you don't want me then?" I ask, starting to get confused. He already said we could do the ceremony when I was ready, but now he is making it sound like he doesn't want us to do the ceremony at all.
"No, yes, I don't know," he sighs, backing away from me. "I want you, Arabella, please don't think that I don't. It's just what I went through with my parents, messed me up badly. I saw the love all the mates around me had and I wanted it, badly. Just now," he pauses shaking his head. "Now, that I have that chance and I have you. I'm terrified of losing you in the same way that I lost my parents. I don't want you to die."
"That's a risk that all of us take, Phoenix," I jump off my barstool and step closer to him. "Finding a mate is one of the greatest gifts the Divine has ever given us but it is also one of the scariest. I can tell you that I'd rather have as long as the Divine decides with you than not have you at all. It's your decision to make but know that I'm here with you. I choose you."
I'm terrified but I know in my heart this is the right choice. Phoenix, and Warrick, both of them are the right choice for me. I won't change my mind. I will fight for both of them at all times. I made my decision the second I talked to both of them. I won't be changing my mind. Warrick is on board now it is up to Phoenix. "I can't make your decision for you and I won't force you to make one right now. Just know I'm okay with whatever you decide." Leaning up on my tiptoes I place a soft kiss against his lips. When I try to back away he grasps my hips pulling me closer and deepening the kiss.
"I choose you, Arabella. Just give me some time to adjust, please," he begs against my lips before resuming our kiss.
I can't answer him, too lost in the way he feels against me. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I twist my fingers into hishair and hold him against me afraid that he is going to try to back away. I don't want him to stop kissing me. It feels too good, it feels like home. Eventually, he pushes his tongue against my lips forcing me to part and give him entry to my mouth where our tongues fight for dominance. His right hand moves from my hip and to my neck where he grips me and forces me to tilt my head back. Our kiss becomes lighter before eventually he breaks it.
"That was amazing," he smiles, staring down at me. "You are the most amazing Angel I have ever met."
"I think I can say the same," I mumble trying to get my feet under me so I don't collapse. I didn't expect him to kiss me, especially not like that. "Want to skip class?" I ask, laughing as I lean against his chest.
"I'd like nothing better but we should probably get to class today," he laughs. Slowly, his grip loosens before he lets me go completely. "Let me shower quick and I'll walk us to class."
"Sounds good, I'll get the kitchen cleaned up while I wait for you," I smile, watching him retreat down the hall to the bathroom we're sharing.
I sure didn't think this was how my morning was going to go but I'm glad it did. I feel lighter knowing we got that off our chests. We still have a lot to figure out but at least I know Phoenix will stand by my side for whatever hardships we are going to face by making this decision. Together we can get through anything. Or at least that's what I thought.
Chapter 33
Arabella
Morning classes passed in a blur. I discovered that after coming to terms with how my life is going and accepting not only my mates but also myself my magic came easier to me. Even my teachers complimented me on the improvement in my magic which made me sit a bit taller in class. I almost felt as if I was on cloud nine. It was exactly what I needed to improve my day even further after the talk with Phoenix this morning.
By lunch time I was practically skipping in the halls on my way to the cafeteria to meet the girls. I couldn't wait to tell them everything that Phoenix and I talked about and get their take on things. I knew they were going to support me one hundred percent and I have a feeling they would also be excited that I accepted both of my mates. Was I ready to complete the mate bond with them? Sort of, I think. I know if Warrick wanted I would complete it with him today but I know how important it is for Warrick and Phoenix to have some time to become friends first. Warrick asked for that and I won't take it from him.