Page 37 of Rejected Darkness

"How was your day?" Phoenix questions, startling me as he enters his room.

"I'm so sorry," I answer, standing up from the spot I had claimed in the center of his floor. When I got back from training I had enough brain power to get myself into the shower and then come find clothes. I hadn't gotten any further, instead letting my thoughts get control of me. Looking down I realize, I haven’t even found clothes. I am standing in front of him with only a towel wrapped around my body. "Oh my god!" I gasp. "Shit. I'm so so sorry. Let me just..." I trail off grabbing the first pair of clothes I see which just so happens to be the clothes he gave me last night to sleep in and rush into his closet.

"You don't need to keep apologizing," Phoenix chuckles from the other side of the door. I quickly toss the towel on the ground and change clothes before walking back into the room. "Sorry, for interrupting your thoughts and whatever was going on," he states.

"It's okay. I actually hadn't realized how long I was sitting there for. It must have been a while since my hair had time to pretty much dry. As for your question about my day, it was better than I had expected." It really was too, it isn't a lie.

Phoenix gives me a questioning look but nods as he moves to sit on the edge his bed.

"So, Rhys wasn't a complete asshole? I know he can be tough but he does mean well, or at least he usually does. He is one of the smartest people I know." I can hear the pride in his voice as he talks about his brother. I wish I could say the same or believe him but I can't completely. Phoenix grew up with him and is a fallen himself. That divide between the races is so engrained in us that I'm not sure if some people can see past it completely.

I just give him a pointed look and roll my eyes. Rhys not being an asshole? Yeah, okay. "You really think he didn't give me attitude?"

"Attitude and being an ass are two different things," he laughs. It's a full bully laugh as he watches me. "But really?" hepushes once he settles down. "Was he an asshole to you. If he was I'll go deal with it now myself."

As much as I would like to see Phoenix tell his brother off, I shake my head no. "Rhys was hard but fair. I did actually learn something from him after he got off his high horse."

"Oh, Good," he sighs. "I didn't really want to try to kick my brother's ass but I would have for you."

"I appreciate that," I smile and take a seat beside him. "So, what's our plans for the night?"

"You want to stay here?" he asks surprised.

"I didn't think I had a choice. I mean you did have my bags waiting for me in the living room and Councilwoman Talia knew to find me here. Plus, well, Rhys sure wasn't about to let me leave. Did you put him up to that?" I bump my shoulder into Phoenix jokingly. I know full well that he wouldn't trust his brother to watch me. The small interactions that we had before in classes and between them were hiding them from Rhys.

"I would never ask my brother to babysit you, though I'm sure glad he did. I want you to stay here, Arabella. If you're here then I know you are safe and well it seems Councilwoman Talia agrees. I promise that Isis and Harper got moved to another room and our safe as well," he quickly adds before I can try to bring them up.

"Am I allowed to come and go as I please?" Not like I would let either guy stop me but I would appreciate not feeling like I'm trapped. I already lived my life in lockdown once, coming here was a new start for me and even if someone is targeting me, I'm not going to let it stop me and force me to hide away.

"You aren't trapped here, Arabella. Just maybe let my brother and I escort you around for a little bit?" He asks lightly turning his body slightly toward me. "I don't want you to think you can't do anything alone, I'm just worried about you. We still don't know who targeted you and I'm worried they will again. Iknow it seems like overkill but watching you fall apart in front of your dorm room… that was one of the hardest things I’ve seen and it broke something in me watching you. I just want to make sure you’re safe. I would never want you to feel trapped or like you can’t live your life. I would just like the chance to watch over you and make sure you are safe while doing it."

"But I'm no one, Phoenix. At least no one to you," my voice drops close to a whisper. Ever since the other day when we had breakfast in the garden, I've been confused about Phoenix. He has been extremely nice to me and sometimes when I catch him looking at me it isn't in just a friendly way. I've also noticed the more time I spend around him the more my feelings for him have grown, which leaves me confused. I don’t like this feeling. If he is just concerned as a friend then I can understand but I’m not sure that’s his reasoning, and I don’t know what scares me more. My feelings for him or him only being my friend.

Phoenix clears his throat and looks like he's slightly panicking. "Umm... well that's not exactly true."

"What isn't true? That I'm no one to you? It is. We just met last week and already you've done more for me than most people I know but that doesn't mean that I mean something to you." I know it sounds like I'm trying to rationalize this in a way that gives me an out and maybe that is true. I'm not used to people being nice to me. Especially not at the level that he has been, and maybe it’s my way to deflect and protect myself from how I’m feeling.

"Arabella," he starts, reaching out to grasp my hands before pulling back away. "I... well... I'm not sure how to say this."

"Just say it, Phoenix. You're sort of starting to freak me out." I look at him confused and terrified of whatever he is going to say. So far he hasn't really had an issue talking to me about anything. Considering how hard this is for him, I'm worried it's going to be something that I'm not going to like or becomfortable with. With that thought, I inch away from him on the bed to put some distance between us knowing that if I need to bolt I can and he can't try to stop me.

"I care about you," he blurts out then shakes his head sighing. "That came out wrong. It's more than just caring about you. I think you may be my mate. I know it's unheard of to have mates between different species, but are angels and fallen angels really a different species? We are technically the same so I'm sure there has to be something that we are all aware is possible. There's no way to prove for sure that I'm your mate unless we call upon the Divine's magic to tell us but I think we are. I can feel what you are feeling which is a new development that started today so I know how much my brother really pissed you off even though you didn't admit it."

All I can do is stare at him, my jaw drops open as I try to comprehend what he's saying. Not for a second did I think he would say any of that, or well not most of it. I was starting to suspect he had some feelings for me but a mate? That is not something I would have even jumped to. I mean is it even possible? Sure he's right, angels and fallen angels are the same race essentially so I don't see that being an issue. As for what he is saying about being able to feel my emotions, is that something mates can do? We never really were told what does and doesn't happen between mates.

"Arabella?" he questions softly as I continue to just stare at him. I have absolutely no idea what to even say to him. How do I answer? I knew already I was destined to have multiple mates, I mean the mating ceremony showed me that I was a potential mate for both Maverick and Warrick. I didn't see any other connecting lines but that doesn't mean it isn't a potential at all. The ceremony only shows connections to those who are attending the ceremony. Maybe that's why so many angels arehaving trouble finding mates. If everyone were to attend I think there would be a better chance.

"I... Ummm...," I clear my throat, words not coming to me at all.

"You don't need to say anything," he reaches forward before realizing that I'm out of reach. "Shit," he runs his hand through his hair causing it to stand up. "I shouldn't have said anything yet. I'm sorry." He rises to stand and begins walking to the door. "I'll leave you alone."

Endless thoughts run through my mind of what I should and shouldn't do as I watch him walk away from me. Fear has me paralyzed. I'm still scared from what Maverick did to me and Warrick and I haven't even had a conversation after he admit that I'm his mate and I forgave him somewhat for being an ass and not standing up for us. I understood but it doesn't mean he is completely forgiven yet.

Am I ready to take that risk again with Phoenix? It's a really big one to be taking if I do, but what happens if I don't will it still be there?

"Phoenix," I call out, watching him come to a stop at the sound of my voice.

"Don't call me back, Arabella if you can't accept what I said. I can't face it right now." The vulnerability in his voice has me moving before I can think about it. Getting off the bed, I walk toward him, placing my hand on his bicep softly.

---