I nod.
“Why?”
“Come with me,” I repeat.
Will takes a deep breath. “Okay.”
We trudge through the fresh snow to my massive greenhouse further back on the property. This is a place I’ve wanted to bring him for a long time now. Only I kept telling myself, not yet. Soon. Not yet. Just a bit longer. Not yet.
Here we are.
The warm air hits as soon as I open the first door, making sure it’s closed all the way before I open the second set. The beesswarm the room, even at the door. It’s a massive colony and they’re all thrumming in unison.
“Come on,” I say, tugging his hand.
Will hesitates. “Don’t we need a suit?”
“Not for these. They don’t sting.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Despite his question and some hesitation, he follows me into the warm room and shuts the door behind him.
“Can’t. They can bite, but they will die if they do. Therefore, they won’t. They’re peaceful creatures so long as you don’t swat at them or something,” I say.
“They… don’t look like normal bees.” One lands on his shoulder and I put my hand out for it to crawl on me instead.
“They’re not.” I watch the little creature buzzing around my hand. These are not your typical cute and fluffy bumblebees, but lean, bright red and black creatures like something out of a nightmare. “Sometimes ugly things are harmless. And sometimes beautiful things are deadly.”
“Things like you?”
I flick my eyes over to him. “Only sometimes.”
Will releases a long sigh before he looks away, but I can see he gets what I’m saying. He’s never swatted at me. I’ve had ample opportunities and… I don’t want to. He’s never given me a reason, and I no longer have the desire. I never will with him. Not anymore.
“Do you remember what I told you about the domestic bees?” I ask.
“They choose to stay,” Will says, sadness still in his eyes when he looks back at me.
“That’s right.” I smirk. “They’re self-sufficient. They don’t need the comfort of domestication. They can come and go as they please. Kind of like you.”
“Then why are these locked up?”
“Easy. Imported.” Another lands on my arm and I move my hand for it to crawl there instead. “I could let them out, but they’re not meant for such a cold climate. And since they can never leave to feed themselves, they’d die without me. I own them. Completely.”
I offer my hand to Will, and he puts his palm out for a little buzzing friend. That warms my cold heart a bit. Enough for me to really smile.
“These are vulture bees.” I flick my eyes up to him and hold his gaze. “They produce a savory honey because they only eat one thing. Carrion.”
Impressive what they can do to a corpse, too.
Will closes his eyes and lets out a long sigh, but he doesn’t say anything for even longer. When he does break his silence, all he asks is, “Why did you bring me here, Cas?”
“You say you know how I feel about you. You don’t. You can’t. I don’t feel things like a normal person should.” I let out a measured sigh until he looks at me again and I stare right into his eyes with an unwavering gaze. “This is my limit and I won’t ever care more, no matter how much you want me to. Go ahead and love me, own me, fuck me however you want. I’ll be yours and I promise that won’t ever change. But if you fuckwithme, with the trust I put in you, I will choke the life out of you and let them pick your body clean.”
“Do you really think I would do that?”
“You wouldn’t be standing right here if I did.” I turn and gently wrap my arms around him. Even now, he doesn’t have his guard up. I’ve realized it makes it easier for me to let mine down, too. “I don’t want to hurt you. Ever. What I want is for you to keep loving me the way you do and, in exchange, you get total control over me. Forever.”
Will stares down at me and I can only gulp while my heart thrums from uncertainty. I hate this feeling and I always have,but for once I want to believe I’ve found the person who won’t let me down. Not like everyone else always has.