Page 48 of Sweet

“Because you want him.”

“Yeah,” I say with a sigh. “I have for a long time. I know you want us to have something, Jess, and sometimes I do, too. I’m always going to care about you and we’re always going to be friends. I just… I need to know where things are headed with this other guy first. Otherwise, I won’t be able to make any decisions.”

“Wow. You almost sound like a responsible adult.”

“Only almost?” I tease.

Jess resumes his task and doesn’t look at me when he huffs to himself. “Get back to work.”

The day passes quickly while we work, so I only have time to stop and think once most of the hustle and bustle of shoppers winds down. After everything’s packed up, I’ve got my phone out while I wait for Jess to be ready to leave. May as well message Cas and let him know I’m done so we can figure out the when and where.

Once I open the app, I see that he messaged me. What the fuck? I don’t remember getting any notifications. When I check the timestamp, I realize he messaged me early this morning. I must have passed out with the app open, so the messages went through and I never got a notification badge.

Orchid Mantis:You don’t really have to. Saying you would is enough.

Orchid Mantis:And I’m actually busy tonight so we’ll have to reschedule. I’ll be seeing you real soon.

Purple Puppy:Too late.

And I tack on a displeased and sassy emoji because that’s exactly how I’m feeling right now.

Purple Puppy:I’m starting to think all you really want is to fuck with me, dude.

Purple Puppy:I’m sure you don’t give a damn, but I’ve had a crush on this other guy longer than I’ve even known you. And I dropped him like a hotpotato, maybe even hurt his feelings in the process. Just for a chance to be with you.

Purple Puppy:And I know I’m ranting now, but too bad. You asked me to do something. I did it. Now it’s time for you to put up or shut up. I cut off the only other people who have given a damn about me. Either we are giving this a try, or I’ll fuck right off and stop wasting your time.

With a huff, I close the app and shove my phone back in my pocket. This guy. He gets under my skin too easily. Enough for me to roll over and show my belly, if that’s what’ll appease him. It’s not me. But I can’t figure out how to pull back now. I’m in too deep and I’m willing to do too much just to have him.

By the time I’m home, I’m less pissy once I remove my shoes and walk to the living room so I can collapse on the couch. Let’s see if Cas has decided to beg for my forgiveness. I doubt it. He’s got me by the balls and he knows it. Fucker.

Once the app loads, I click on my messages and… our conversation is gone. Weird. Some kind of glitch? Maybe I left the screen open again and accidentally cleared out my messages. I’ve deleted whole apps before when I forgot to turn on the screen lock before pocketing my phone.

No reason to fret. All the usernames get randomly generated for each and every conversation. Meaning there is likely more than one Orchid Mantis floating around in the app at any given time. However, the developers were not entirely irresponsible in terms of anonymity. Every user also gets a numbered user ID upon joining, and that’s listed on your profile for safety reasons—like in case you need to block someone or report a user or something. And I happen to have Cas’s memorized in case of this exact instance. I enter his number in the friend search and…

User not found.

Well, obviously, I typed too quickly. I punch the number in the search bar again and…

User not found.

Okay, maybe it’s time to panic a little. Cas and I never messaged outside the app at his insistence. I have no other way of getting a hold of him. Time to take this up a notch on the creeper level. Dig around for my tablet. Download the app. Register under a different email. Brand spanking new user ID. Good luck with blocking me now, asshole. We’re too close to the finish line for you to walk away on me like this. Surely, he got pissed off after my tirade and blocked me. Once I apologize, all will be well.

After I enter his user number in the search, I’m already crafting the perfect apology while the little spinning wheel takes its time to load and…

User not found.

I can’t believe it. I can’t believe after all that he’d cut and run. No. That’s not how this works.

Now, everyone reacts to rejection differently. Some people want to devour a pint of ice cream and a comfort movie while in their pajamas. Or a shoulder to cry on, who will lend an ear to their woes. I am the type who decides the night is young, and I have plenty of rage to release once I find someone to spite fuck. So, I’ll go and do just that.

Chapter nineteen

Cas

Not soon. Tonight.

Chapter twenty

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