Page 39 of Broken-Hearted

My voice doesn’t change. I’m good at faking it like the best of them, but Nathan slows the car a touch and gives me a long look. Like he knows something is wrong. “Busy bringing little Blackshaws into the world.”

“What?”

“Jenna and Marshall have a little one due soon. I wouldn’t be surprised if Luka and Eden were sharing their happy news next. They’re always sneaking off together and coming back all disheveled. Hallee’s mate is a carpenter called Kier. When they’re not at the house, he’s at his own home and she’s helping with his business. Gavin and Blair were staying in Savannah’s cabin in the woods, but they’ve moved back into the house, so it’s yours for however long you want it. There’s Dean and Madi. Gavin and Blair. Oh, and Savannah and Jeremy are holding back on telling us that she’s pregnant. Not sure why. Guess they want to surprise us.”

Throughout this list of an overwhelming amount of names, Nathansoundshappy. He’s smiling and waggling his eyebrowssuggestively, but that anguish inside him isn’t still there. It’s growing.

“And you?” I prompt.

He changes lanes and pulls off the highway. “What about me?”

“No Blackshaw babies in your future?”

“Nah.” He flashes me a grin as he comes to a stop beside a gas station pump. “We need more gas for our last push. Want any snacks? I’d kill for some candies.”

“I’m good.” He’s climbing out of the car and this feels like the perfect time to apologize for something I didn’t mean. “About the motel room…”

“Nothing to talk about. I came on too strong. I won’t do it again.”

He slams the door shut before I can speak again, and I subtly watch him fill up the tank.

Nathan has a pack, a home, and he seems happy. Sure his packmates are settling down and having kids, but that happens in every pack. That doesn’t explain the anguish I feel in him.

He must feel me watching as he pulls his credit card from the gas station machine after filling his tank.

“You sure you don’t want any snacks?”

I shake my head.

He walks toward the shop attached to the gas station as I watch him.

Why are you hurting Nathan Blackshaw? And why does it bother me so much that you are?

10

We leave the gas station and the highway far behind us as Nathan drives up twisty mountain roads that will take us to his home. Everywhere there are towering trees, thick dark green leaves and the scent of something wild, raw and earthy.

It’s beautiful.

I wind my window down and fill my lungs with cool, fresh air.

It’s nothing like my old home.

We had blisteringly hot summers where we’d cook under the sun and jump into the nearest river to cool off instead of having a shower at the end of each day. And in winter, all the leaves would turn orange and red before they fall off trees that would resemble skeletons once all the leaves had finished shedding.

I miss my pack, my home, and everything I knew, but I don’t miss the fact we only had two seasons. It was only when Martha and I traveled all over the states that I learned about the other seasons I missed out on growing up.

I had my window open almost all the way until a fly committed suicide by diving into my eye. Then I closed it. I don’t know what the fly was made of, but it stung my eye like crazy getting it out.

“You’ve been quiet for a while.” Nathan’s hands are relaxed on the steering wheel. He’s a comfortable, confident driver. More confident than I am. I wouldn’t dare take my eyes off these twisty mountain roads. I guess it’s home for him and he could drive these roads blindfolded.

He’s right. If Martha was in the car at this moment, she’d have her palm on my forehead and asking if I was coming down with something.

It’s in Martha’s nature to be quiet and meditative. It is not in mine.

“Just thinking.”

We haven’t spoken about what happened in the motel, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

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