Page 85 of Monsters of Desire and Nightmares of Passion

“Hey, asshole, What are you doing?”

His raw tongue licks my face and I push him away.

“Powder, you lick your ass with that.”

He hisses and jumps on the ground, landing with a thud.

My eyes adjust to the dim moonlight that fills the room.

Lisa is there, chewing on her ghost nails. She looks at me, sadness in her eyes. “Ivy, I hope you don’t mind that I entered your room. I can’t knock. I’m glad you’re awake. I tried shaking you, but it didn’t work.”

My head pounds. God, I need coffee. The small Toba crawls from under the bed and jumps up with me. Velvet is fascinated by my bed and by Powder. She stands in front of him, leaning forward on her front paws and flapping her wings. Powder hisses but refuses to do anything.

“She’s so cute,” says Lisa.

“What’s wrong with the guys?” I ask.

“I… I don’t know. Draw and Mrez dropped you off and left, and both looked as if they were going to their own funeral.”

My headache is no longer important. I jump up. The room spins hard, and I flop back on my ass.

“Explain it to me, slowly.”

“I think they went to stop The Church of Light. They plan to sacrifice themselves to spare you. I think. I’m not sure, but it felt so off when they left.”

My heart beats like crazy and the memories come crashing back. What I said to Draw in their world was mean. I was tired, and hurt, and had enough and felt lost. But fuck, I didn’t mean for them to sacrifice themselves. He shouldn’t have taken what I said at face value. He should at least have waited until I woke up and given me a chance to have another conversation with him and Mrez. How could they leave me like this?

I don’t care about anything anymore. All I want is to get my guys back. I’ve already lost Khal. I can’t think about that. No, I refuse to believe I’ll never see him again. But there’s no chance of getting him back without my mates.

Velvet circles around Powder. He hisses.

“Powder, be nice. Velvet let him be.”

Velvet flaps her wings and hides behind me.

“Lisa, this is important. Do you know where they are?”

Lisa blinks and looks at me, sad. She rolls her eyes and scrunches her forehead. “No, I’m sorry.”

“Can you find out? You’re my last hope. I need you. Lisa, you found us in The Valley. You can fix this, girl. Please.”

Lisa shrugs. “I don’t know exactly how being a ghost works.”

“How is it possible you appeared when we got stuck in The Valley? How could you do that but can’t figure out where the guys are now?”

She takes a step back. “I don’t know. I have no control over that. It felt as if something was pulling me. I’m sorry. I want to help, but I can’t.”

“I need to get dressed. I have to find a way to stop them from doing something stupid.”

As I jump up from the bed, the world spins less than it did initially, and that’s a good thing. The closet is a walk in. I can’t remember anything about it, but it’s packed with clothes my size. After looking around, I finally find what I’m looking—a pair of steel-toed combat boots, leather pants, a top, and a jacket padded with Kevlar. My decision is made. If those dumb asses want to throw themselves into the arms of death, I’ll follow.

When I woke up, all I had wanted was to see if there was a way to save Khal. Now I know the answer. If Draw has picked death, that can only mean Khal is lost forever and there’s no way to get him back. My shoulders slump and I bite the inside of my cheek hard, hard enough that blood fills my mouth, making me gag.

A wall covered with weapons attracts my attention, each of them shiny and new.

“Wow, you have an arsenal here.” Lisa whispers and whistles. “I wish I could grab one. Also, damn girl, I need one of your outfits. Spooking around in my hospital pajamas is weird.”

“Try to focus on a new outfit. Close your eyes and imagine yourself being dressed the way you want to.”

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