Page 66 of Monsters of Desire and Nightmares of Passion

“The Valley will try to pull us under its spell again,” says Draw. “We need to stay aware. Pain is real. So long as we feel pain, we’ll able to see what’s real.”

I take a knife and cut into my own hand. Red blood drips fast. Draw’s tongue darts out closes the wound.

“We’ll be fine now, Ivy. No need for you to get hurt.” Draw kisses me.

I take one last look around. This place houses so many of my favorite winter fantasies with the guys. I’d be a horrible liar if I said I didn’t feel inclined to stay.

“What if we stay?” The words roll out from my mouth before I have the sense to check myself. I’m honest. I want to stay here with the guys. It’s warm and cosy. The guys are with me, and it makes me feel like home.

Draw’s eyebrows rise. “It’s what this place wants. We can’t stay here. We have to go.”

“Why?” Khal steps beside me, wrapping me in his six arms.

“Because The Church of Light will erase the Shadows. They’ll hunt Ivy, that’s why.”

“That’s bullshit,” spat Khal. “The Church guys can’t step into The Valley. We have here everything we could ever dream off. Why do you want to take this away from us, Draw? Tell us, why?”

Mrez stepped behind me and Khal. “I’m happy here. I want to stay.”

Draw looks broken and exhausted. “Maybe you guys are right. What does it matter how many people The Church of Light kill? Who cares if they resurrect The Dark Lord and The Dark Church, and enslave humanity? We should stay here and celebrate a fuck fest. Stay, if you want. I’m going, though.”

Draw pushes open the door and steps outside into the snowstorm.

10

Draw

The blizzard is as strong as my rage. The Valley is fucking with their heads, but it’s more than that. I know full well we’re about to fight a losing battle. And I’m dragging Ivy and my brothers into this. I’m of royal blood so this was my fight, not theirs. The more I think about it, the clearer it becomes. Ivy is human. Why should she care about us, about the end of our existence, or about the implications that come with the end of my race?

Fuck this shit! I hate the Valley more than anything else. This place is so treacherous and unpredictable, and the games it plays with your mind are incredible. Each step I take feels wrong. My instinct tells me to get the hell away from here. Still, I want to continue. I’m the biggest and baddest thing here. I should not be concerned about other Shadows with broken minds. We’re products of the dream world, of mental shadows. We need a human to believe in us to exist. And there are so many of us who are broken, damaged, lost, about to absorbed into nothingness.

The nothingness is the scariest thing for us. We don’t have souls, so once we lose our minds, we are damned to relive our best and worst moments for eternity, moments when we felt connected to our anchor. Connection is what gives us power.

After a few minutes, I realize that while my internal battle raged in my head, I had become lost in the snowstorm. There’s nothing I can do. I can’t find my way back, not even if I try. The snow has covered in my tracks. Even worse, I can feel them, the ghost Shadows of The Valley, their fingers touching me, stealing my life essence. They’re like a cloud of dark, negative energy that hangs over me, pushing me further away.

I feel them. They are growing stronger and hungrier with each step.

In my desperate attempt to find my way, I reach out hoping to touch a tree, anything, but nothing is there. It’s as if the forest has dissolved and nothing remains. The Nothingness. Even thinking about it makes me freeze.

My strong legs brace my body against the storm raging all around me. If I could see or smell something. Anything. All I can smell are the cold and the slushy, wet snow that keeps pelting me from all directions.

Fuck! I scream loudly.

Damn, I wish I knew in which direction was the cabin. Staying with Ivy, Khal, and Mrez in the warm cabin sounds like heaven. Why did I have to try to save the damn world by myself?

A soft whimper attracts my attention. Something is out there, or someone, and it’s in pain. It could be an animal that’s hurt. Or trapped. The whimper is close by. I head in the direction of the noise to see what is hurt.

The mad shadows still grab for me out of the dark. However, now that my soul is filled with a purpose, they back off.

The snowstorm has calmed. It’s still blizzard conditions, but the wind has lessened. This damn place makes navigating around it as hard as fuck. A pale moon appears in the sky and brings a touch of light into the darkness. I have perfect night sight, but this place is special in a bad way.

“Hey, where are you?”

The whimper grows louder, and my sight clears. I’m on a mountain path with a steep stone wall on my right. This treacherous place keeps shifting and changing the farther I go, making the path more treacherous.

“Who are you?”

A small creature is hiding between the stone wall and a rock. I smell blood. And fear.

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